Mom's/Patti's Story & Other Interesting Posts

Ch 1 – Cancer Conquerors Search

2010-08-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Cancer Conquerors
Is a cancer conqueror the same thing as a cancer survivor? Perhaps.
First, how do we define survivor?
Macmillan Cancer Support defines a cancer survivor as someone who is "living with or beyond cancer", namely someone who:
• has completed initial cancer management and has no apparent evidence of active disease;
• is living with progressive disease and may be receiving cancer treatment, but is not in the terminal phases of illness; or
• has had cancer in the past.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancer_survivor

This definition is specific & covers a broad range of cancer patients, but it does not capture the spirit of the cancer conqueror. Can a cancer survivor & a cancer conqueror be one & the same? Yes, but not every survivor is a cancer conqueror. Not every cancer conqueror will be a cancer survivor. That is the ultimate hope, but it is not the ultimate issue at stake.

I have wanted to use the term Cancer Conqueror in “My Story” & my blogs but could not decide how to give you a short definition of who or what a Cancer Conqueror is. I hope this will help you understand the core beliefs of a Cancer Conqueror that are the basis of his or her mindset, which results in specific actions & responses. This involves body, mind & spirit. It’s so exciting to learn how you can become a Cancer Conqueror &, in the process, may even cure it! How exciting is that? I hope you benefit from the journeys as much as I have.

When you read these chapter summaries & find out what a Cancer Conqueror is, I would say I don’t remember meeting many cancer patients or survivors who truly embodied the Cancer Conqueror spirit portrayed in the book I will summarize. I do remember talking to 1 Cancer Conquer rather early in the journey. It was only a brief conversation, but it was quite meaningful!

Greg Anderson uses the term Cancer Conqueror in several of his books. The Cancer Conqueror (1988) was re-titled Journeys With the Cancer Conqueror when it was reprinted, in 1999. This book is described as an honest and understandable modern-day parable that shows how a positive attitude and a hopeful spirit affects cancer and may even contribute to its cure. Its reader follows a step-by-step transformation from despair to hope. Patients are left encouraged that this day, this hour, this moment, is the time to create well-being, body, mind, and spirit.

The purpose of this series of blogs is to summarize the book. Although it was out of print when I was searching for it, I was able to obtain a copy by searching Amazon.com, where I found a few copies & ordered one.

I’ve read several books about people who have survived cancer. They are heart-warming, encouraging & often inspirational. Even in those cases where the story is miraculous & awe-inspiring, I have found that most of these feelings are temporary. Although they are wonderful books that we need to have available & to read, Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror is very different. It is a practical, action-oriented guide for cancer patients, survivors, care-givers, & family members & loved ones of cancer patients or survivors, which considers body, mind & spirit in the journey with cancer. Among its many goals is helping the reader find peace of mind & hope. Anderson does relate these to knowing God, but I can tell you from personal experience that they are not possible, on a permanent basis, apart from a personal relationship with God. This modern-day parable provides ample dialogue between the Cancer Conqueror & the man in the story, as they make several journeys, to allow the reader to relate to the thought processes that a cancer patient goes through on this journey.

Reading Journeys With The Cancer Conqueror I found it ironic to discover that God, acting as The Cancer Conqueror in my life, had been teaching me the lessons the Cancer Conqueror relates to the man in the story, on each of his 7 journeys. I can see that the 8 strategies Anderson discovered cancer survivors have in common [which I’ve reprinted below] are principles that have a much broader application than conquering cancer. They also help me express what I have done to emotionally, spiritually, physically, & psychologically conquer this disease. Previously, my explanation was, ‘it’s a package deal.’ I would try to explain that there are numerous factors involved; there isn’t a single element that I can point to as the sole reason for what is happening in my life, emotionally, spiritually, physically, & psychologically. Although I can say God is the most important element, I cannot leave out the fact that I have an important role to play. I know I am responsible for many aspects, but God is in control of the results. Nutrition & exercise also play an important role, as do supportive relationships. The list could go on & on. These 7 chapters develop the basis of discussion to help others who are struggling with cancer. If God had not spoken to me & told me that my cancer is not a death sentence, I would want either to read what is written in these 7 chapters or to have someone, who is a Cancer Conqueror, talk with me to share this information, these beliefs, these convictions, & these passions with me. I’m very excited to share this project with you! What you are about to read is not just words on the computer screen; they are words from my heart to yours. I pray they will make a difference in your life.

I’ve struggled, along the way, with how to relate to other cancer patients. How do I begin to dialogue with them, to give them hope, when they are not beginning their journey, as I did, with an assurance from God, before hearing the results of my 1st biopsy, that my cancer “is not a death sentence”? Where do I start, to give reasonable hope? Yes, I can share my faith in God & pray for them. Is that enough? It certainly is, if I’m not a cancer patient. What did I want? I did want prayer & concern, but not a pity party or indifference. My expectations were different for those who had been down the cancer road, as opposed to those who had not. What did I want from cancer patients & survivors? Did I get it? Hummm . . . Lots to think about. . .

After reading this book, I can see that God played the role of The Cancer Conqueror in my own life – WHAT A BLESSING! I believe He should play that role, even if we find a cancer survivor who is a Cancer Conqueror. If you don’t have a personal relationship with Him, you should start the journey by searching for a cancer survivor who is a Cancer Conqueror. I pray, as you read these chapters, you will be drawn to Him & desire a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, as your source of unconditional love, hope, encouragement, & strength.

I can’t imagine traveling this journey without God. He has repeatedly proven the truth of Philippians 4:13 [Amplified Bible] “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me – I am ready for anything & equal to everything through him who infuses inner strength into me, [that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].”
*******************************************************************************
The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 1 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri. Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits.
Most of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible.
******************************************************************************
Foreward by Abigail Van Buren
“Cancer conquerors don’t resign themselves to the inevitable.” What do we think of as the inevitable? Most of us assume that the diagnosis of cancer equates with inevitable death. However, “You can conquer cancer – you can recover.” This requires a “mental battle plan.”

Abigail Van Buren says this book tells the reader how to “establish an active role in their own recovery” It allows the reader to “tap deeply into their spirits & uncover the incredible healing power of hope by realizing, ‘I am stronger & possess more resources than I thought!’ This helps the patient evolve from barely surviving to living in a state of grace, able to celebrate each sacred moment.”

(While hope cannot literally heal, it can have a healing effect, as you will see later in the discussions of the mind-body-spirit connection. Our source of hope is in God. Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”)

In her final paragraph, Abigail says, “Reading books can change lives. And this book will change yours, by revealing a secret: When you discover you have cancer, you do have a choice – you can prepare to die or you can prepare to live. It is exactly when you make choices about your life & your treatment that your cancer no longer controls you [mentally & emotionally].”
******************************************************************************
I've inserted the list below, which was included in the blog, "Growth Rate of Cancer – How Long Has it Been There?” posted June 25, 2009. As you read these 7 journeys, keep in mind the 8 strategies survivors have in common. Can you see these strategies utilized? Can you see how you might implement them on your journey?

Eight Strategies Survivors Have in Common
1. Medical treatment – Survivors literally take charge of the management of their entire medical program: They choose doctors in whom they have confidence; they consent only to treatment programs about which they have convictions; & survivors aggressively integrate complementary & alternative treatment approaches. . .

2. Beliefs & Attitudes – Cancer survivors choose beliefs & attitudes about their illness, as well as their potential for wellness, that empower. The most fundamental & empowering belief is that cancer does not equate with death . . . survivors recognize [the] truth – cancer may or may not mean death. This intellectual stance carries a vastly different outlook from either the super-positive or hopelessly negative beliefs & attitudes. Survivors believe, “Yes, I may die. But I also may live. And I am going to invest my time, whatever the length, in living the best way I know.”. . . [Survivors] challenge the conventional thinking about treatment & potential side effects. They choose to conceive of their treatment as highly effective, believing that they will have minimal & manageable side effects. . . They believe their active personal involvement is absolutely essential to the recovery process.

3. Exercise – Cancer survivors believe strongly in the importance of exercise, & they act on that belief.

4. Purpose/Play Balance – Purpose involves survivors perceiving that they are needed, that their life has special & unique meaning . . . a life mission . . . Survivors balance this profound idea of life purpose with a lighter, more playful attitude of fun for fun’s sake, an outlook that creates joy.

5. Social Support – Cancer survivors invest more time & emotional energy in relationships that nurture them & invest less in those that are toxic. . . Cancer tends to give patients permission to examine a wide variety of their life choices, including their social support system.

6. Diet & Nutrition – The majority of cancer survivors report making significant dietary changes. . . “Survivors eat with awareness.” They raise their nutritional IQ & develop a greater understanding of the nutrients contained in their food selections. Survivors also feed themselves less for emotional & psychological reasons, concentrating instead on delivering premium nutrients to the body. They embrace foods that are less processed. There is a documented shift to a more vegetarian approach. Fresh fruits, fresh vegetables, & whole grains are the new foods of choice. A marked decrease in all meat, particularly red meat, is widely held to be beneficial.

7. Creative Thinking – Survivors mobilize the mind to heal. Affirmations, meditation, & imagery are widely employed within the context of a comprehensive treatment program. Survivors use meditative techniques to reduce the symptoms of illness, manage the side effects of treatment, & improve emotional well-being.

8. Spirituality – Survivors embrace a more spiritual perspective. They view life differently than prior to their brush with death. . . To call spirituality a “strategy” is inadequate; “spiritual transformation” is a more accurate description. Thousands of survivors demonstrate entirely new spirit; they become new people.

Each survivor creates his or her own specific recovery plan within the structure of these eight strategies. One principle takes priority at the appropriate time. Seldom do survivors make simultaneous wholesale changes in all eight areas. Those who attempt to change too much too quickly often meet with temporary defeat & have to start again.

This information is a small portion of the information on this topic, from Greg Anderson’s book, Cancer – 50 Essential Things to Do. The list is the result of compiling the data from having contacted survivors across North America & conducting interviews with patients who were “supposed to die” but lived. These are the strategies that were common among the more than 15,000 people he had interviewed, as of the writing of his first book, The Cancer Conqueror, published in 1988.
******************************************************************************
Preface by Greg Anderson
Greg begins by telling readers, “It is possible to survive, even thrive, following a cancer diagnosis.”

He is a survivor of metastatic lung cancer. In 1984, he had one lung removed, but 4 months later the cancer was back. This time it invaded his lymph system. The surgeon told him, “Greg, the tiger is out of the cage. Your cancer has come roaring back. I would give you 30 days to live.”

(In Cancer: 50 Essential Things To Do, Anderson states the following: “Part of the reason that the surgeon was mistaken is that no healthcare provider can predict a patient’s response to illness. After a couple of days of believing I would die, I made a profound decision. I decided to live!

“Please clearly understand what I’m saying. By deciding to live I made a decision to do all I could to triumph over the cancer. I determined to live each day I was given to the very best of my ability. I chose not to focus on the despair implicit in the surgeon’s words; I would instead adopt a stance of hopefulness. These decisions drastically changed my experience of illness. This resulted not only in better days but many more days as well. I believe such a decision may result in a similar outcome for you.

“This message has its critics; it’s controversial. More than once, esteemed members of the health community have publicly accused me of spreading false hope. My answer is simple & direct. I believe there is no such thing as false hope, there is only reasonable hope. Reasonable hope is a medicine worthy of consumption in large doses.

“What is clearly false is the pronouncement that sets a limit on ‘false hopelessness.’ It is false because no human being knows how long anyone has left to live. To prognosticate in such a manner is not only unprofessional, it is unethical. Healers [Doctors] instill hope. They do not schedule death.

I understand that Anderson is referring to doctors as healers, but doctors cannot heal. God may use them as instruments & work through them, but only God can heal. Exodus 15:26b “I am the Lord, who heals you.”)

“So decide to live! Embrace hope. [Having] hope heals. It is a decision that always leads to better days & perhaps more of them as well.”

(Psalm 62:5 “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.” Psalm 103:2-3 “Praise the Lord, O my soul, & forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins & heals all your diseases.”)

Through this experience, he says, “This much has become increasingly & abundantly clear to me: The body’s healing capacity is directly linked to one’s mental & spiritual well-being. Embracing healthy beliefs & attitudes, learning to effectively resolve emotional distress, & moving in the direction of greater joy & gratitude all have a direct impact on our physical health.”

(3 John 2 “. . . I pray that you may enjoy good health & that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”)

He ends the preface with, “Cancer is a message to change. And those changes are desirable.”
******************************************************************************
Chapter 1 – Cancer Conquerors Search
This chapter opens with the reader meeting a man who is diagnosed with cancer. He is frightened & confused. You read the thoughts that go through his head. Of course, he asks, “Why me?” He came back with the typical rationalizations. He wanted to know what this meant for him medically. How could this happen to him? He felt as if he was losing control.

(When I went to my family doctor, in September of 2007, to find out why the lymph node under my left arm was painful & enlarged, she told me one of the possibilities was lymphoma; I was very shocked & frightened.

The very first thing Anderson tells readers, in his book Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do, is to Stop “Awfulizing.” Reading this section & the questions he says a newly diagnosed cancer patient asks is right on target. He describes how I felt as I went through several tests to determine the cause of the pain & enlargement of the lymph node & considered the possibility of having lymphoma. He states:

“You’ve been told ‘It’s [it might be] cancer.’ I have deep compassion for you. I fully appreciate your feelings. I’ve been there too.

“First, you’re in shock, & filled with fear. The next moment you’re angry but not quite certain at what or whom. Then comes the thoughts of ‘How did this happen? Why me?’ Even the guilt starts to creep in, ‘Did I bring this on myself?’ Plus, all the questions have started to rush through your mind: ‘Will I die?’ ‘How long do I have?’ ‘What will happen to my family?’ [I did research on lymphoma, found out that there were 2 types, & ask God if I had lymphoma, if I could have the one that has a longer life expectancy – thinking about this now, I can’t believe I was trying to make a deal with God] & on & on & on. Your mind is overwhelmed at times.

“Be calm. Try not to panic. I know that this is easier said than done, but be aware that panic will only inhibit rational & positive action.

“Cancer is a serious illness but it is not necessarily fatal. You do have the luxury of some time. Unlike a severed artery, cancer does not require you to do something this very instant. A hurried response, based in the emotions of fear & panic, is neither required nor preferred. In fact, a hurried response may be harmful. Don’t take that as a license for inaction, however.

“Stop & examine your frenzied thoughts for just a moment. It is at the beginning stages of this journey that clear decision-making will be most important. With these early decisions, you will ensure that your illness is properly treated. Panic acts only to your detriment.

“Panic is a mental phenomenon, a response to our thoughts about cancer being frightful & overpowering. The process can accurately be labeled as ‘awfulizing.’ Isn’t that an apt description? When we awfulize, we take our current situation to its worst possible conclusion.

“If we will observe our emotions objectively for just a moment, we will see something different from initial appearances. The intense panic that virtually every cancer patient experiences is actually the mind projecting its fears about the unknown future. Think about it, & understand this truth: Panic is caused by an assumption. It is not based on material fact.”

When I was sent to a surgeon for a biopsy, he told me there was less than a 50/50 chance it was malignant. If you’ve read “My Story” you know that God told me, before I went to meet with the surgeon, to get the results of the biopsy, that the biopsy was malignant, but the cancer is not a death sentence. The initial diagnosis still hit us like a ton of bricks. We had to wait until further testing was completed to determine whether it was breast cancer or lung cancer, since the surgeon told us the pathologist confirmed it definitely was not lymphoma.
God’s reassurance that it’s not a death sentence has been a lifeline to hope & peace. Even in the midst of my “awfulizing,” I turned to God in prayer to quiet my panic & to bring me back to reality. I always know God will give me grace to face whatever challenges are ahead of me. He has ALWAYS been faithful, & I have NO reason to think He will let me down when I need Him most. “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock & my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2)

His medical team & oncologist were reassuring that his chances were good, but that still did not remove his gnawing sense of fear. He still had many more questions that were unanswered.

He wished he could talk to someone who had been through a similar experience.

He found a long-term survivor, but she looked as if she might die any minute. Even though she had survived for 5 years – the standard “you are cured” time frame – her quality of life was less than desirable. He wasn’t looking for poor life quality.

The man knew that for his sake, as well as for the people around him, he had to find his answers soon.

Then he remembered a co-worker who, several years ago, had lived through cancer. And the interesting thing about his friend’s experience was that the cancer journey seemed to have changed her much for the better. Not only was this woman’s cancer under control but she seemed to be leading a new life, a better life than ever before.

Maybe I should talk to her right away, thought the man. When he called his friend’s home, one of the children said her parents were on a trip & wouldn’t return for another week. Then she certainly must be doing well, decided the man.

He asked the friend’s daughter, “Do you know what doctor your mother saw?”

“No,” she replied, “I don’t know the doctor. But I do know that she spent the most time with the Cancer Conqueror.”

“The Cancer Conqueror?” asked the man.

“Yes,” answered the daughter. “That’s the affectionate name we gave to a woman & a group of her friends who taught my mother & our family about cancer. We learned that people can conquer cancer &, in doing so, may even cure it.”

The man felt a positive, supportive attitude from the girl when she asked, “Do you have cancer?”

“Yes,” said the man. “How can I get in touch with the Cancer Conqueror?”
******************************************************************************
Search for another survivor, a cancer conqueror. As you read each succeeding chapter summary, you will have a better idea what a cancer conqueror is. First, look for a survivor, & pray that you find, as this man did, a cancer conqueror, as well.

In succeeding chapters, you go on the man’s journeys with the Cancer Conqueror. At the end of each chapter, there is a homework assignment the man is given to complete by the next visit, which I do not include here.

This search may not be as simple as Greg Anderson makes it seem. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was in a state of unbelief for some time, during which, I was not searching for a cancer survivor. Once it actually sunk in that I am a cancer patient, in fact I am a stage IV cancer patient, I wanted to talk to another stage IV cancer patient, but I did not know how to go about finding someone. I knew women who had survived breast cancer, but they did not have stage IV breast cancer. Besides that, I am not an assertive individual who will take the initiative to contact such a person. I will wait for her to contact me, if she thinks she has something she wants to share with me. I know that’s not the position to take, but it’s how my brain works post-brain injury. Previously, I would have been on the phone to such an individual to ask questions. The lesson to me today is to be sensitive to the people I know. God has used this experience to help me understand that if a friend or acquaintance is diagnosed with cancer, I need to take the initiative to make contact with that person, to provide support & encouragement. I want to know what role of the Cancer Conqueror I can play in his or her life. No experience is ever wasted in God’s economy!

If you are the family member, loved one, friend or care-giver of a cancer patient you can be a tremendous blessing & a huge help by assisting in making contacts & providing opportunities for connections between survivors, with a Cancer Conqueror spirit, & the cancer patient you know & love. The cancer patient is often too consumed with all that is going on to be able to focus on this task. Their main focus is being surrounded by love & support from family, friends, & loved ones, as they try to understand their disease & how it will be treated & consider their future. They are looking for hope & peace of mind. As I stated before, both are found in a personal relationship with God. If they know God, we can help them turn to look to him to find hope & peace. If they do not know God, we can introduce them to Him, as their source of hope & peace.

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with joy & peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Praise be to the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion & the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

Ch 2 - Cancer Conquerors Take Responsibility

2010-08-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 2 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible. *******************************************************************************
This chapter is, of course, a narrative of the man’s 1st journey with the Cancer Conqueror. She’s very warm, approachable & hospitable.

She asks the man to describe briefly his disease & the prognosis. After she heard this, she asked, “Do you have a high level of confidence in your medical team?”

“Yes,” said the man, “I believe they are very knowledgeable & that they have the latest in available technology.”

“Excellent. The basis for my recovery also started with a fine medical team. I had a great deal of confidence in their abilities & in them as individuals also. But I insisted that they share all information with me in terms I could understand. And I wanted explanations for each & every test. I had to be part of every treatment decision. What I was really doing was taking personal responsibility for my health – personal responsibility for my getting well.”

(The patient’s role isn’t to be passive & unquestioning. We need to be proactive – actively involved – in our medical treatment & our health. Author Stephen R. Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, describes proactivity as follows: “It means more that merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the initiative & the responsibility to make things happen.

“Look at the word RESPONSIBILITY – ‘response-ability’ – the ability to choose your response. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility. They do not blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. Their behavior is a product of their own conscious choice, based on feeling.” Although I love this definition, I feel that it is necessary to qualify the fact that in terms of being a proactive cancer patient, our choices are NOT based on FEELINGS but on information learned by asking questions, research conducted to help understand what we’ve been told, &, most importantly, God’s guidance sought through prayer.

When I go to appointments, I either have the person with me take notes or I take notes. We also go to every appointment with a list of questions we want to have answered. I research what I’m told on the Internet. From my research, I often come up with questions to ask at the next appointment. I’m vigilant in following instructions, in terms of taking medications or following my doctor’s orders. These things are my response-ability. My doctor cannot do them for me. In fact, God cannot do them for me either. They are my response-ability.)

When the man didn’t quite understand, the Cancer Conqueror added, “Personal responsibility for getting well, for conquering cancer is one of the most important principles of the entire journey. If you choose this path – the cancer conqueror path – personal responsibility will come up again & again. It is one of those cornerstone principles that supports everything else.

(I was not always a proactive patient, but my family was for me. During the first few months, my husband & daughter searched things on the Internet & read everything that was sent home for us to read. I read only what I HAD to read before our appointment with the surgeon we thought would perform my mastectomy, depending on the final outcome of the staging of my cancer. When the family was making a list of questions before an appointment, I would maybe contribute one. They completed the list.

December 20, 2007 I had an appointment with Dr. Patel. [I write extensively about this appointment in Chapter 8 of “My Story.”] I was going to go to the appointment by myself; I thought I was asked to come in for this unscheduled appointment because Dr. Patel was going to tell me he wanted me to have another test run before next week’s appointment, because of something he saw on my PET scan results that we hadn't seen or discussed with him yet. I had already insisted that Ed not cancel his meeting at work. The 19th, I was finally convinced to take someone with me. My sister agreed to go along. I needed a list of questions. Guess who wrote the list? Me! Finally, I was involved. Since that day, I have been the one to write out the list of questions for my appointments. I’m the one who does the Internet research; I read books about treating cancer with nutrition. etc.)

Personal responsibility for health means refusing to be a victim. It means participating in recovery by recognizing & changing self-destructive beliefs & behavior. Personal responsibility for health means believing ‘I am in charge of my cancer. My cancer is not in charge of me.’

(Especially at the beginning of the journey, it’s so easy to feel as if cancer controls your life. Everything in your life seems to revolve around your disease. You are overwhelmed by it! The following is just a partial list: There are doctor’s visits, diagnostic tests, lab work, phone calls to make, waiting on return phone calls, waiting on test results, dealing with medical insurance matters, taking new prescriptions & watching for side effects; concerned people call to get updates, which you are very happy to get, but you also can find draining at times; nearly every conversation begins with, “how are you doing,” which is usually your cue to give a brief update on where things stand & how you are feeling. If your treatment involves chemotherapy and/or radiation, these appointments consume portions of your time, as well as dealing with any side effects. In my case, I was put on a very strict diet so that I felt as though every time I shopped for food & every time I prepared a meal cancer was the deciding factor in my choices. When I chose to add exercise, because I learned that cancer cells “hate” oxygen [it kills them], I initially felt as if cancer was driving my regular exercise routine. Every time I took my nutritional supplements I was reminded of my cancer’s seeming control over me & the monthly cash outlay to purchase them, since they are not covered by insurance. In most cases you are TRYING to manage all of this while leading the rest of your life as “normally” as possible. SURE!! How do you fit in all of your normal responsibilities & activities? You want to spend extra time with your family & friends, but when do you have time to do that? Prior to your treatment starting you feel well enough to have a good time with your loved ones. Will your feel well after your treatment starts, so that you can enjoy the extra time you want to spend with them? These are common questions.

It took about a year for me to come to a point & place where I realized that I am in charge of my cancer. I am doing things such as going to doctors’ visits, having diagnostic tests done & making healthy choices, which work in conjunction with my medical treatment to control the cancer. In this way, I am in control of my cancer. My cancer is not in control of me.

Of course, I am also past all of the initial merry-go-round of appointments, tests, & decisions. I know that God is ultimately in control, but I also know that I have personal responsibility to take these actions. I’m not to just sit by passively & wait for God to “take care of the cancer.” That would be irresponsible; I would be doing things that contributed to my cancer in the first place. [More about that in a later chapter.] If you’ve read my story, you know I am doing what God’s led me to do. I feel it is imperative that I remain vigilant in following His plan & leave the results to Him. Since He promised that this is not a death sentence, I have tremendous hope. Praise God! Jeremiah 29:11-14a “I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call upon me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you.’” Proverbs 16:3-4 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do & your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for his own ends.”)

“Selecting a medical team in which we have a high level of confidence is our first responsibility after diagnosis. But once they are in place, our attention must also focus on the role of mind & spirit in this journey.”

The Cancer Conqueror explained, “When I encountered cancer, I instinctively knew that this was not just an experience on a physical level. I knew that my mind & spirit had a central role to play. Personal responsibility meant that if I was to live a full & healthy life, whatever the length, that decision rested not with my doctors but with me. . . Once my medical team made its contribution, it was my job to discover & use all my healing potential. This perspective leads beyond the body to the mind & the spirit. . . The members of the medical team will do all they can to help the body. If you will support them with good nutrition, exercise, & rest, the physical portion of the journey will be in place.”

(The phrase “healing potential” may seem off-putting to some, but, if you read on to the later portion of the paragraph, you discover some of what he’s referring to. Certainly, the physical portion is easy to see & understand. The spiritual portion is one sought through prayer & searching the Scriptures for God’s hope, peace & encouragement. It’s also helpful in maintaining &/or building a personal relationship with Him on a daily basis, so that He is your source of strength for the challenges you meet physically, mentally & emotionally. Habakkuk 3:19 [Amplified Bible] “The Lord is my strength, my personal bravery, & my invisible army . . . & will make me walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] & make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility].”)

“Okay,” said the man. “I’ll do those things. But I’m not sure about the mind & spirit. Can I learn”

The Cancer Conquer told her story. She had breast cancer. She had surgery to remove it. Six months later a growth protruded from her neck. “Again, surgery. It was malignant. The cancer had now spread, & they could not operate. The surgeon closed the incision, ordered radiation therapy & told me to get my affairs in order. According to statistics, I had a year, maybe a little more to live.”

She was frightened & had lost all hope. She believed what the doctors had told her. The fear paralyzed her. At her lowest point of deep despair, she cried out with words that “were full of rage & anger & fear. ‘Oh God, what can I do?’”

(When I cry out to God like this, I follow it with prayer. I will often follow it by opening my Bible to look at favorite verses that I have marked by underlining or highlighting them. More recently, I decided to type these verses into a Word file so I can find them quicker. I have key words in bold print to help me in my searches. I also used the concordance & did several word searches to find additional verses to add to these. After I’d been doing this for a few weeks, my son-in-law told me about an online site that offers a concordance & several other Bible study resources, for all versions of the Bible – what a time saver! http://www.blueletterbible.org/study/ Often, God helps me to add to my list. This is the way God most frequently speaks to me, through Scripture that suddenly feels as if it is written to me personally.

This is an example that might be a first step, to reassure this frightened woman: Lamentations 3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”)

She continues, “But somehow through the tears, a different thought came. It was as if someone was saying, ‘You may not be given long to live, but live as long as you are given.’

“I discovered a seed of hope in that thought, a seed I knew needed special care & attention. ‘Live as long as you are given.’ It was a seed that provided sustenance for me during the countless down times. I knew that every day I had to rededicate myself to living that one day for all it was worth.

“Love now. This is the core of conquering cancer.”

The Cancer Conqueror explained that this is “merely the tip of a transformational discovery. Living today, doing the best I could to make love my aim, here & now, held a tremendous message of hope & healing for me. It changed not only my health but my entire life.

She then told the man that he would learn 3 Cancer Conqueror principles: believe, resolve & live, by visiting 3 different people over the next 3 weeks.

She reminds him: You are in charge of your response to cancer!
******************************************************************************
Greg inserts a section, ahead of the chapter’s assignment, titled –
Personal Responsibility: Gaining a Sense of Control
The purpose of this section is to urge cancer patients to take a proactive response to their illness.

He states, “The degree to which a patient takes personal responsibility for his or her own actions & feelings in response to a cancer diagnosis is a crucially important determinant of the course of an illness.

“Awareness & choice are the twin pillars that support personal responsibility. We increase awareness through our personal research & education, become eager students, ready to learn everything we can about our diagnosis & range of treatment options. From this knowledge base, we exercise fully informed consent to treatments & make intentional choices in our physical, emotional, & spiritual lifestyles.”

“Just as less-than-mindful attention will contribute to a less-than-optimal response, a fully mindful response holds the promise of direct health benefits. We have the power to become aware of & make changes in our beliefs & behavior. It as simple, & as complex, as changing our thinking.

(A “fully mindful response” is an informed, intentional response. As you make lifestyle choices, make medical decisions & give consent to medications & treatment, your attitude toward the effectiveness of any of these is extremely critical to their actual effectiveness, as you will see, in a later chapter. If you check Chapter 11 of “My Story” you will see that Dr. Patel told me that if I don’t BELIEVE hormone therapy or chemotherapy will work it won’t. I found that to be a curious statement for a doctor to make. I now understand it, after reading the research.)

“When we assume personal responsibility for our choices, we have the ability to change our every experience of cancer.

“Central to success is assuming personal responsibility for proper diet & appropriate exercise. Stress management has a key supportive role & deserves to be understood & implemented by the serious wellness student. So do belief & attitudes, resolution of emotional conflicts & hostility, plus capturing a sense of joy. And adopting a more spiritual focus on life may be the most important recovery tool of all.

(For me, it is my spiritual focus, my personal relationship with God that provides me with the effective tools to work through each of these other areas. I have to pray, I have to read my Bible, I have to apply the principles I’ve learned from past trials, consistently, but it is God who is faithful to keep his promises. James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature & complete, not lacking anything.” I can tell you that I did not count it a “joy” to be diagnosed with cancer, at the outset. However, I’m a little further down the road today & will now tell you that it’s one of the best things that has ever happened in my life. Praise God! It goes to show what a difference it makes when we allow God to work in our lives. I did not make that statement for the sake of impressing you; I mean it with all sincerity! How did it happen? Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you & teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you & watch over you.”Psalm 145:13 “The Lord is faithful to all his promises & loving toward all he has made.” God has proved this to me, through experience after experience.

What about resolving emotional conflicts & hostility? Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.” Colossians 3:15a “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Ephesians 4:26-28 “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are angry, & do not give the devil a foothold.” Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord.”
Nehemiah 8:10d “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”)

“Nobody can accomplish these tasks for us. Nobody can get well for us. In the final analysis, we must walk the wellness path for ourselves. We stand personally accountable for this journey.”

As stated above, the portions in bold print are the key factors that define a Cancer Conqueror, for this chapter, in terms of taking personal responsibility. At the beginning of the journey, it is difficult to get your bearings. Your mind is racing with so many thoughts! Everyone is different; so, the specific thoughts may differ somewhat. However, there is a general theme that plays out for all of us. I know it did for me. There are certain questions we all ask ourselves. Unfortunately, some of these questions don’t have answers. Most questions can be answered, if we know whom to ask. There are also questions we should ask, but we don’t know what those questions are.

I thank God for the way in which He placed people in our pathway to help lead us along so that we were nudged in the right direction & stayed on the path He planned for me. As you read the beginning of my journey, from my 1st trip to investigate a sore shoulder to my diagnosis with stage IV breast cancer in chapters 2 through 8 of “My Story,” you can see how He used many people. In particular, the specific doctors’ medical knowledge, perceptiveness & understanding to help us understand the decisions we had to make, to understand a little more about cancer & the type of cancer I have, to understand the types of treatment available, etc. I write about how he used my family doctor. She was a sounding board for an additional medical opinion. She also provided referrals for a 2nd opinion surgical doctor & an alternative treatment oncologist. In addition, she was involved when I had to go off of my hormone replacement therapy, which set off a whole series of other issues I discuss in Chapter 12 of “My Story”. God used friends who kept needling us to go for a 2nd opinion to eventually prompt us to make an appointment. God used a friendly nurse or receptionist on the other end of the phone, when I called Geisinger to make the 2nd opinion appointment, to make things fall in place FAST. I could go on, & on, & on, & on, & on. . . The point is: We can see God’s hand in the entire process, in hindsight, even when we weren’t entirely cognizant of it at the present time. Obviously, we were praying about each of these circumstances & so were others, but we were so caught up in the busyness of the situation that we could not fully appreciate what God was doing until we could catch our breath.

If we’ve done our SEARCH for a survivor & found one, he or she can help us to gain a proper perspective & to be encouraged, to have hope. Assuming he or she is a Cancer Conqueror, he or she can help us understand the importance of responsibility & inspire us to take steps in that direction. He or she can answer questions, provide information & prompt us to ask questions we didn’t know to ask.

I was not so fortunate as to have a Cancer Conqueror to help me down this road. However, I thank God for the way in which He led us on this journey. It was a longer process not having a Cancer Conqueror to help me, but God did help me find the Cancer Conquer path, as He has filled that role of THE Cancer Conqueror in my life. I’m conquering my cancer, by the grace of God!! PRAISE HIM!!

It now is so satisfying when God opens the door & allows me to play the role of the CANCER CONQUEROR in someone else’s life. PRAISE GOD!!! It adds meaning & purpose to my walking this path.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Ch 3 - Cancer Conquerors Believe

2010-08-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 3 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible. ******************************************************************************
Mary is the woman the man met on this week’s journey. She began by asking him a question. “What do you think cancer means?”

“I’m not sure,” said the man. “I know it is a serious illness that will probably end my life pretty quickly unless I do something about it. And the Cancer Conqueror said it was more than physical. To me cancer is the worst nightmare I’ve ever had to deal with.”

Mary smiled. “Those are pretty common beliefs about cancer. Society has conditioned us to think negatively & fearfully about this disease. And while some of that conditioning can be good, it has resulted in harmful untruths like these:
• Cancer means death.
• Treatment options are limited & ineffective & have horrible side effects.
• Once you contract cancer, there is nothing you can do to help yourself.
“The truth is that
• Cancer may or may not mean death.
• Treatment options are many & are becoming more effective, & side effects are less severe every day.
• Once you contract cancer, there are many things you can do – physically, emotionally, & spiritually – to help yourself.

“The untruths lead to beliefs that result in despair. With despair there is no power. But the truths lead to hope. With hope there is significant power."

(When it comes to cancer, we have to search for the truth about the disease. We don’t realize how many common misconceptions most of us hold, because of our narrow exposure to it. If you’re like me, you immediately think of family members, friends, acquaintances, etc. who lost their battles with the disease. The picture we conjure up is usually not very pretty. How many people can you think of who are cancer survivors? How many of these had early stage cancers? How many of them were late stage cancer patients who were supposed to die but lived? If you are reading this & have received the news, “you have cancer,” did you think of the people you knew who lost their battles with the disease first or those who survived first? Which would give you greater hope? Did you immediately assume you were going to die of cancer? Do you know that taking these journeys with the Cancer Conqueror & then applying these strategies can enhance the effectiveness of your medical treatment? Cancer Conquering is not just for late-stage cancer patients.)

“What you choose to believe about cancer is crucial to your journey. Note how the truths match 3 belief areas – the disease itself, the treatment, & your role. Your beliefs about the disease, the treatment, & your role have incredible power over the outcome, & you can choose these beliefs.”

(Each of us has to take whatever time is necessary to process what is happening to us, before we can look at this disease from a positive perspective. I remember watching a Christian woman on TV telling about her experience with breast cancer. She went on about how God used it in such positive ways & thanked God that she had gone through the experience with cancer. I knew I SHOULD feel that way, but I didn’t. Instead, I prayed about it & asked God to help me see it that way. It took another YEAR before I could recognize the many ways in which God is using this experience to make my life better & my health better than it was before I was diagnosed with cancer. I’ve made the statement before, & you’ll read it many more times, because I sincerely mean it. My diagnosis with cancer is one of the best things that has ever happened in my life! Praise God!

This positive perspective has the potential to enhance the effectiveness of my medical treatment, as you will see.)

Mary explained that she learned more about the disease. She learned that more than half of the cases like hers were cured, which meant it was not an automatic death sentence.

Next, Mary asked, “What do you believe about treatments?”

The man paused. “I guess I feel they are probably not very effective. And when it comes to side effects, I’m afraid of all the horrible possibilities.”

Mary explained that she had shared his feelings. She then described her experience with her treatment. She learned that the treatment plan was very hopeful.

The man asked about side effects, & Mary explained that at the beginning of her chemotherapy sessions she “read about the psychological component of side effects. A research study tracked a group of people who were given sterile water injections instead of chemotherapy, & a third of them lost their hair anyway. . .

“The only explanation the researchers could give for the hair loss was psychological [a placebo effect]. They lost their hair because they believed chemotherapy caused hair loss. . . And another 30 percent of the people got sick on their way to chemotherapy. They experienced nausea not after the drug had been administered, not during the administration, but before – in anticipation of chemotherapy.

“I realized my beliefs & attitudes contributed to the severity of my side effects. Of course that doesn’t mean no one will never experience hair loss or mouth sores or be nauseous again. But it does mean that there is a psychological component to side effects, & we can work to control that component."

(We’ve all heard the mind over matter arguments, which are also called psychosomatic symptoms. Some body (somatic) symptoms have no known physiological basis. Symptoms seem more related to beliefs and emotions than to physical damage or biological causes. These are real physical symptoms caused or aggravated by psychological factors such as migraine, back pain and irritable bowel syndrome.

The impact of psychological factors on many health aspects cannot be ignored. For example, stress can affect a person's susceptibility to infection or their recovery from illness. Although the symptoms are real, physicians may have great difficulty in diagnosing an actual illness or its cause.

Because this phenomenon exists, it is frustrating when you have an actual physical problem doctors are unable to diagnose for which you are treated as if it is “all in your head.” I’ve been down this road. After 11 doctors, the 12th took me seriously & did the correct diagnostic test to discover the actually source of my difficulties, which resulted in surgery that corrected the problems I’d dealt with for several years.

Another common factor is known as the placebo effect. This is described as, “The physician’s belief in the treatment & the patient’s faith in the physician exert a mutually reinforcing effect; they result in a powerful remedy that is almost guaranteed to produce an improvement & sometimes a cure.” – Petr Skrabanek & James McCormick, Follies & Fallacies in Medicine. “The placebo effect is the measurable, observable, or felt improvement in health or behavior not attributable to a medication or invasive treatment that has been administered. . .

“A person’s beliefs & hopes about a treatment, combined with their suggestibility, may have a significant biochemical effect. SENSORY EXPERIENCE & THOUGHTS CAN AFFECT NEUROCHEMISTRY [emphasis added]. The body’s neurochemical system affects & is affected by other biochemical systems, including the hormonal & immune systems. Thus, IT IS CONSISTENT WITH CURRENT KNOWLEDGE THAT A PERSON’S HOPEFUL ATTITUDE & BELIEFS MAY BE VERY IMPORTANT TO THEIR PHYSICAL WELL-BEING & RECOVERY FROM INJURY OR ILLNESS [emphasis added; for extra emphasis, read it again!].

“The psychological explanation seems to be the one most commonly believed . . . there are too many studies that have found objective improvements in health from placebos to support the notion that the placebo effect is entirely psychological.

“Doctors in one study successfully eliminated warts by painting them with a brightly colored, inert dye & promising patients the warts would be gone when the color wore off. In a study of asthmatics, researchers found that they could produce dilation of the airways by simply telling people they were inhaling a bronchodilator, even when they weren’t. Patients suffering pain after wisdom-tooth extraction got just as much relief from a fake application of ultrasound as from a real one, so long as both patient & therapist thought the machine was on. Fifty-two percent of the colitis patients treated with placebos in 11 different trials reported feeling better – 50 percent of the inflamed intestines actually looked better when assessed with a sigmoidoscope [‘The Placebo Prescription’ by Margaret Talbot, New York Times Magazine, January 9, 2000].

“It is unlikely that such effects are purely psychological.”

Dr. Walter A. Brown, a psychiatrist at Brown University, & others “believe that the placebo effect is mainly or purely physical & due to changes that promote healing or feeling better. [So, how do we explain the placebo effect?] Some think it is the process of administering it. It is thought that the touching, the caring, the attention, & other interpersonal communication that is part of the controlled study process (or the therapeutic setting), along with the hopefulness & encouragement provided by the experimenter/[physician], affect the mood, expectations, & beliefs of the subject, which in turn triggers physical changes such as release of endorphins, catecholamines, cortisol, or adrenaline. The process reduces stress by providing hope or reducing uncertainty about what treatment to take or what the outcome will be. The reduction in stress prevents or slows down further harmful physical changes from occurring. The healing situation provokes a conditioned response.” http://skepdic.com/placebo.html

Philippians 4:8 “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” This verse tells us where we should focus our thoughts. We are not talking about just positive thinking, but possibility thinking. Think about all the possibilities that are available through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Matthew 19:26 “with God all things are possible.” It’s possible to overcome the side effects of cancer treatment if we maintain hope, rather than mere wishful thinking, & believe God designed your body with the capability to recover. We must believe He WILL facilitate the effectiveness of the cooperation between the body & the medical treatment.)

“In short, the belief we want to encourage is that the treatment is our friend. And as our friend, it is effective in helping overcome the physical aspects of the illness. It is fair to assume, then, that the side effects will, most likely, be very minimal”

Mary continued, “The Cancer Conqueror taught me that I needed to believe in my treatment program even more than the physician who prescribed it did! That was a revelation to me. She went on to say that the treatment program was something I needed to get excited about. I would need to align myself with the treatment, believe in its effectiveness, & think of it as a welcome ally. I admit I spent a lot of time nurturing this belief.

(If you read chapter 11 of “My Story”, you read that Dr. Patel explained that my opinion of & attitude toward the form of treatment chosen is crucial to its success, even though he did not speak of treatment as a possible cure or talk about recovery. When diagnosed with stage IV, or advanced stage cancer, oncologists never use the words cure, recovery or remission in their discussions. They only talk about stabilizing the disease – keeping it from getting worse – & providing “quality of life.” For me, quality of life is more than the state of my cancer, & controlling side effects of any treatment &/or possible symptoms of the cancer itself; it’s living every day to the fullest, with love, joy, hope & peace of mind, which develops through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. The oncologists cannot provide this, but I am convinced that God works through them to provide medical insight & wisdom to diagnose, treat, & monitor the disease biologically & physically.

At this point, Dr. Patel stated that if I don’t think chemotherapy or hormone therapy will work, it won’t work. This appointment, to discuss my treatment options, was bathed in prayer – our family’s & those of many, many prayer warriors who were praying for us. As I describe in writing chapter 11 of "My Story," we had a peace that was beyond understanding – God’s peace – when we made our choice. My belief in my treatment & its effectiveness was strong, from the beginning, because I knew it was God’s choice for me.
I have talked with others who have described their treatment as their friend, or something similar. It is helpful to maintain a positive perspective on the treatment chosen. Cancer is the enemy, not the treatment. When we have witnessed the heartbreaking effects of treatment on loved ones, in late stages of the disease, who’ve lost their battles with the disease; it might seem that the treatment was worse than the disease itself. These treatments are often done in an attempt to prolong life and/or in hopes of providing more quality of life for the time they have remaining. It doesn’t always work out the way the oncologist or the family thinks it will. For this reason, it’s easy to view treatment as the enemy. We have to change this perspective & misconception; it is actually a narrow view of cancer treatment.)

“But even more important than beliefs about the disease, the treatment, & the side effects are the beliefs we have about our role in the cancer journey.”

(This is what another author, a pharmaceutical scientist, says about this matter: "In practice, people recover when they take placebos. The effect has been shown to cause spontaneous recovery anywhere between 10 percent & 100 percent of people, depending upon the nature of the trial & the type of illness being studied. . . The placebo effect makes you wonder how many of the people who receive a drug in medical trials actually recover due to the placebo effect. Does the drug itself cause them to get well or is it their BELIEF in the drug that caused them to recover?"

Another author states that "belief, motivation, & expectation are essential to the placebo effect." In fact, "THE CRITICAL FACTOR IS OUR BELIEFS ABOUT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO US [emphasis added]."

I read about a researcher, who was studying the placebo effect of depressed patients treated with drugs, psychotherapy, or a combination of both. After analyzing 39 studies, done between 1974 & 1995, he found that 50% of the drug effect is due to the placebo response.

Our bodies are hardwired to feel every emotion; as it does, our emotions show up as physical “symptoms.” When you cry it is your thoughts & feelings of happiness or sadness that set in motion a series of internal events in your body that result in tears. Your mind is affecting your biology. Similarly, your face may turn red if you are embarrassed. A pleasant thought can alter the rhythm of your heart & even raise the strength of your immune system.

Your biology can affect your thoughts & emotions. These range from hormonal changes to chemical changes in the brain, which can make a person feel emotionally high or low. Certain drugs alter brain chemistry in this manner, as do endorphins, which are the body’s own natural opiates.

The lesson here is the fact that there is a mind-body communication going both ways. A lot of research has been done on this.

A study by “the Institute of Heartmath showed that positive & negative thinking could affect the body’s immune system. Researchers monitored the amounts of salivary immunoglobulin A (s-lgA) after each person in the study thought ‘care & compassion’ or ‘anger & frustration.’ Salivary immunoglobulin A is part of the immune system found in the saliva that can neutralize the bacteria that enter your mouth, from your food. . . A large amount of it indicates a strong immune system, whereas a small amount indicates a weakened system.

Heartmath scientists found that ‘care & compassion’ produced a stronger immune system than ‘anger & frustration.’ In fact, they found that just 5 minutes of ‘care & compassion’ caused the immune system to be elevated for 5 hours, while 5 minutes of ‘anger & frustration’ depressed it for 5 hours. So, we can create positive states of health by thinking positively.” It’s the Thought That Counts, by David R. Hamilton, PhD.

The lesson to be learned from these examples is to examine our beliefs & to be mindful of our thoughts. Don Colbert, MD, in his book The Seven Pillars of Health, describes mindfulness as slowing down so that we do one activity at a time, giving our full awareness to both the activity at hand & to your inner experience of it, paying attention to what is happening to us moment by moment. This provides a powerful antidote to stress since it means letting go of any thought that is unrelated to the present moment & finding something to enjoy in the present moment.

He goes on to explain, “Nothing exemplifies mindfulness better than thankfulness & gratitude.”

". . . An ‘attitude of gratitude’ helps you take the focus off your situation & shifts it to the One who can work everything out for you. Hebrews 13 tells us to give the sacrifice of praise continually, not just when we feel like it, ‘the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name’ (verse 15). Paul said, ‘In everything give thanks [even in the midst of trials & tribulations]: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you’ I Thessalonians 5:18.")

Mary talked about finding books on the role she could assume with her medical team, with the disease, with the treatments, & with her family. She stated, “For the first time I was able to exercise some personal control over the illness. I was able to see my role as managing a total treatment program that included my medical team, my mind & my spirit.

(We know that God is in control of how things play out, but we are to make a plan of action, as we are told in Proverbs 16:3 “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, & your plans will succeed.” And in Proverbs 16:9 it says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”)

“I spent additional hours on the Internet where I studied & worked. I developed a fighting spirit. I fanned the flames of my will to live. . . There is no question in my mind that my self-education was a crucial part of the process of getting well.

(My fighting spirit is due, in part, to the fact that God hardwired my brain to be stubborn, but it also comes from my spiritual focus that I develop through my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This is maintained through prayer, reading my Bible, searching for specific Scriptures to help specific situations, & by reading Christian spiritual growth books, written by trusted Christian authors. I also find that contemporary Christian music soothes my soul & helps me to praise, honor & worship God. All these things help me to keep God at the center of my life, as my friend, my guide, my counselor, my source of strength; it also keeps me mindful of the fact that He is in control, so that I consult Him when I have decisions to make. I rely on Him as I read educational research for discernment & insight, so that I am not lead astray, because some research is contradictory to what I’ve previously read & some is based on principles that are contradictory to my Christian beliefs. A combination of prayer & searching for credible sources helps me to uncover the truth. Philippians 1:9-10a “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more & more in knowledge & depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best.”

Self-education has corrected many misconceptions & helped me understand how this disease affects my body physically. It has helped me to know how my body has been designed, by God, to reverse the disease, if it is working effectively. Yes, I know everyone believes cancer is an incurable disease. However, I’ve now read enough to now know it is reversible by many different measures, besides the usual medical “standard of care”— surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, & hormone therapy forms of treatment. God can choose to spontaneously heal an individual, too. Those are glorious events, for which I praise God. However, I’ve discovered that there are thousands of cancer patients each year who are recovering from cancer or who have gone into remission by consistently following the strategies Greg Anderson lists & describes in his books. He didn’t invent them or base them on his singular experience; he’s interviewed thousands of cancer patients, who were told they were supposed to die but didn’t, to discover these common strategies utilized by thousands of survivors. These folks are the living proof that they work. It is from talking to them or their having filled out a questionnaire that he created the list of 8 strategies survivors have in common – they are incorporated into these journeys with the Cancer Conqueror.)

“Yet as helpful as all those things were, as important as the self-education process was, I always kept coming back to mind & spirit. It became apparent to me that mind & spirit were the key components of my treatment plan. They were also directly under my control. It led me to what I consider one of the single most powerful beliefs I had ever nurtured. I came to see that even though I had cancer, I was not cancer.

(This is a tricky one. You get very caught up in the disease, so that you almost feel as if it “owns” you. It’s like the statement in chapter 2: “I am in charge of my cancer. My cancer is not in charge of me.” You can’t let it totally consume who you are, even if it requires many dedicated hours of your day to fight it, or if you are sick or struggling with debilitating side effects from your treatment. In most cases, that is not a permanent state of affairs. Cancer is not who we are, it’s an illness we have. It’s so easy to get caught up in conversations with others about our disease, treatment & how we are tolerating both that we miss out on talking about those things we would have talked about if cancer was not a part of our lives. Other people don’t know how often we may have run through this same conversation. They mean well & are interested in us. Can we find creative ways to direct conversation to other things that are of interest to us, without ignoring the inquiries? I struggle with this. We need time to feel as if we are a “normal” human being, without cancer getting in the way.)

“. . . I was able to separate who I was as a person from what I had as a disease. I had control over my mind & spirit! And my mind & my spirit had cancer only if I allowed it.

(2 Corinthians 10:3-5 “though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine powers to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments & every pretention that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, & we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” You see, we are always fighting a battle in our minds. Some thoughts have a real strong hold on us. My choice is to allow the Holy Spirit to have control over my mind. Why? Romans 8:6b “the mind controlled by the Spirit is life & peace.” This is how I am able to take those thoughts captive that have a grip on my mind. As an act of my will, I turn them over, surrender them to God. Romans 12:1-2 says, “I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy & pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test & approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing & perfect will.” My mind is a part of my body, which I freely give to God. I give myself as a “living sacrifice,” which means that who I am, as an individual, is not threatened. When I surrender myself to Him, he promises that I will be “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” That is pretty awesome. I will gain a new perspective, God’s perspective on my life & God’s purpose for me. When I see things His way, I will also understand that His will is good. He only wants what is best for me. It is pleasing; the better I understand it the more enthusiastically I will accept it. I will also see that it is perfect, in that it makes provision for every area of my life. 2 Corinthians 3:17 says, “Now the Lord is the Spirit, & where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”)

“Who I was as a person was much more than what I had as a disease.”

Mary explained her misinformed belief that cancer cells were eating away at the inside of her body. The Cancer Conqueror corrected this false belief. “Cancer cells don’t eat other cells. Cancer cells are weak & confused cells . . . the cells themselves are not intelligent. They don’t make up a bodily organ. Instead, they have gone mad. They are confused.”

Mary pointed out “another important belief brings a new perspective to our treatment. Right in our own bodies is the mortal enemy of cancer cells, our own immune system.” She made clear that the surgeons, the radiation, or the chemotherapy & other treatments actually “help the body’s immune system heal itself – from within! The medical team plays a supporting role to the body’s own healing power!”

(In the same way that the medial team plays a supporting role in the healing of a broken bone, they do so in illnesses that require other forms of treatment. The doctor who sets a broken bone or a surgeon who places metal rods, pins, &/or screws in it does not heal it; he or she does play a major role in HOW it heals though. I have a long rod, a pin & 5 screws in my left femur, & I have a long rod, a pin & 4 screws in my right femur, as a result of my auto accident, in 1999. I don’t want to think of how they would have healed without the surgeon’s supporting role. I certainly don’t believe I would be able to walk. Even with the surgery & implanting all that hardware, the surgeon predicted that I probably wouldn’t ever walk. Well, he was wrong. Praise God! Although the surgeon didn’t heal my legs, he certainly did play a supporting role! In the same way, my physical therapists played a role in helping me rehabilitate my legs so that I could walk. I shared personal responsibility in following through with following the doctor’s orders & with doing the physical therapist’s prescribed movements & exercises to rehabilitate my legs. The time spent with the physical therapist was not sufficient to do this. The actual healing process took place naturally, even though it took a year before I could walk without any assistance at all. In addition, the food I ate & the calcium supplements I took played a supporting role in providing fuel for my body to produce the chemicals God designed it to produce to enable the natural healing process to occur in my bones & connecting tissues. This is how God designed our bodies. Psalm 139:14 says, “I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

As more has been learned about how our bodies work, forms of treatment have changed to help this process to be more efficient, so that recovery is more complete. I believe God helps scientists, researchers, biologists, & physicians to discover new medical information/wisdom so that they are able to better serve & help patients, in their supporting role. Proverbs 2:6 “For the Lord gives wisdom, & from his mouth come knowledge & understanding.” This kind of revelation is at God’s discretion. Think of how many diseases have been wiped out because cures have been “discovered.” Who is ultimately responsible for these “cures” & their “discoveries?” Of course, it’s God!

Our body’s immune system & hormonal system produce many chemicals that are critical in the healing process. To work effectively, they must be supported by optimal nutrition. The brain is the control center that orchestrates the different systems of the body; so, it needs proper nourishment, rest, oxygen, etc. There are multiple connections between the body, mind & spirit. In terms of the physical body, God designed it with AMAZING capabilities. We can work with or against those capabilities. The medical team is attempting to work with them, to support them.

I am absolutely convinced that the hundreds of people who prayed for me throughout my recovery played a very large supporting role, as well!! Praise God!!)

Mary went on. “The Cancer Conqueror taught me that cancer has significant psychological, emotional & spiritual components. We can understand more about these aspects by looking at stress & the way we handle it. The important thing to realize is that mismanaged stress can lead to both a physical & a psychological reaction that primes the body to respond. This priming is a mental phenomenon. If we mentally respond by suppressing or over-expressing, we give the body confusing signals. The result is that our immune systems become compromised & less effective in warding off potential cancer cells, [bacteria, or viruses].

“These essentials are documented in a growing field combining science & psychology called psychoneuroimmunology [PNI]. It’s a scientific discipline that recognizes mind & spirit do affect cellular biology. Thoughts of fear, anger, & guilt can lead to sickness on more levels than just the physical. Yet thoughts of love, joy, & peace lead to health & well-being.

(Nehemiah 8:10d “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.”)
The man asked, “Does this all mean that I gave myself cancer?”
“No, No!” said Mary. “That’s much too rigid a view. You didn’t give yourself cancer. However, the inability to handle stress constructively, to resolve conflicts creatively, & to manage anxieties effectively may contribute to the beginning of illness. Of course, it wasn’t a conscious decision.

(This also means that another person cannot GIVE or CAUSE you to get cancer. There is no way we can know for which individuals this is a contributing factor to the development of cancer. We need to learn to learn to manage stressful situations, to deal with the emotional & interpersonal conflicts, as well as the emotional issues that accompany them, in order to be mentally & emotionally healthier, without doing this out of fear that it might be causing us to develop cancer. That may only add to our stress rather than decrease it. If it’s an eye-opener that motivates us to take steps to learn to better manage those things that cause us to become anxious or stressed, then it is a positive stressor.)

“If you recognize that you may have contributed to your illness, then you must also believe that you have the power to contribute to your recovery. The psychological & spiritual components can work either for us or against us. The choice is ours.”

(Of course, there are factors, besides resolving conflicts, to consider that may have contributed to your cancer. Without realizing it, you made lifestyle choices, in ignorance to their potential contribution to the development of cancer, which you now know may be contributing factors. You now have the opportunity to change or modify these choices because you NOW know they may be contributing factors. In this way, you are contributing to your recovery.

One example is the fact the cancer cells are anaerobic while healthy cells are aerobic, meaning they need oxygen. Cancer hates well-oxygenated tissues. For this reason, breathing deeply &/or getting regular exercise that brings our heart rate up, to our target heart rate, so that we oxygenate our body’s tissues & kill cancer cells. If you have been physically inactive, including a routine exercise program in your weekly schedule is a change you can make that is good for your healthy cells, helps you psychologically, & kills cancer cells!! How’s that for contributing to your recovery?

It was after I was required to change my eating habits that I learned how my previous diet contributed to the growth of my cancer, as well as other health issues. The initial adjustment was very difficult, as I describe in chapter 13 of "My Story," but it’s been worth it all for the benefits of improved health I now enjoy, as well as the continual positive test results. Praise God!! I know this is part of the plan He’s called me to use in fighting my cancer.

Of course, I have written much about the spiritual aspect of my spiritual journey & will write much more. This is the most important component of the journey. It benefits my health & emotional well-being in more ways than I can list here.)

Mary then explained, “Behind all these statements lies a revolutionary assumption that needs to be understood & believed at a deep level. The assumption is this – cancer is a process.

(This whole experience is a process. You continue to learn & grow as the days, weeks, & months go by. With each new step, each test, each test result, new information, every up & down, every new person you meet along the way, you continue to learn & to grow in many dimensions. The ways in which you grow depend on your perspective on life, on the disease, on God. These choices are yours to make. I cannot make them for you. I can only tell you what my perspectives are & how they are working successfully for me. It is my hope that what I share will inspire others to make positive changes in their lives, their thinking, their perspectives, & to trust God as they walk this journey.)

Of course, the man did not know exactly what Mary meant by this statement. She explained that “conventional medical wisdom teaches us that cancer is a thing . . . a physical condition . . . a noun.” While this is true, she says “it is also rather shallow.”

Mary asked the man to examine his cancer experience beyond the obvious appearances. She asked him to open his mind “to the full dimensions of the idea that cancer is more than a physical condition. Cancer is not a disease of which you are a victim. It is a process which you can master.

“The medical community uses cancer as a noun. I encourage you to make cancer into a verb, an action verb! I challenge you to start to think, see, & feel yourself as ‘cancering.’

“The verb cancering shifts our focus away from a disease we have & brings our attention to the process we are going through.

“The evidence is becoming overwhelming. Lifestyle is the key to preventing as well as reversing cancer.

“Cancer doesn’t just happen to us. [About 5% of cancers are the result of genetic predisposition. Another small percentage is the result of prolonged exposure to environmental carcinogens.] It can spring from inner disharmony, physical or emotional or spiritual. And it has two implications. One is responsibility, at least subconsciously, for contributing to the onset of illness. But the 2nd implication is opportunity. Cancer is a reversible disease, & there are patients who happily experience reversal every day. Our central task in recovery is to choose harmony at the level of mind & spirit. Only then can we help our bodies regenerate & achieve physical harmony. This is truly conquering cancer. And in conquering, we may even cure it.

(Have you found peace between what you know & believe in your head & what your heart believes, or is there a disconnect [disharmony]? As long as there is unrest, your body does not have the best conditions for efficiently carrying on its job of ridding your body of cancer cells.

Don Colbert, MD describes how stress affects our lives in his book, The Seven Pillars of Health.
“Good stress is healthy, such as a wedding or a promotion. Stress is also our body’s natural reaction to a threat or perceived threat. It causes a sudden release of adrenaline & other hormones that cause your blood pressure to go up, your heart to beat faster, & your lungs to take in more air among other physiologic events. These stress hormones give you extra strength & mental acuity for a few moments, & they empower you to either fight or flee.

“But when the stress response occurs too frequently or goes on long term, those stress hormones that were meant to save your life begin to actually harm you. They can leave you feeling depressed, anxious, angry, with low sex drive, & predisposed to obesity, type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, & all kinds of illnesses. The same hormones that save your life in an emergency can actually begin to destroy your health.

“In June 2005, the Wall Street Journal devoted an entire section of their newspaper to how to live longer. The front page article of the section said, ‘Increasingly, researchers are viewing stress – how much stress we face in a lifetime, & how well we cope with it – as one of the most significant factors for predicting how well we age.’ The article concluded that stress ‘kills’ people as much or more than poor health habits like smoking, drinking alcohol, or not exercising.

“Stress is not just a mental problem; it’s the cause of many diseases & maladies . . . Many recent studies have demonstrated this. The renowned Nun Study has shown that elevated stress levels inhibit & deteriorate the hippocampus, the part of the brain associated with memory & learning. A smaller hippocampus is a sign of Alzheimer’s disease.

“A long-term study at the University of London showed that chronic unmanaged mental stress was 6 times more predictive of cancer & heart disease than cigarette smoking, high cholesterol levels, & elevated blood pressure. In a Mayo Clinic study of people with heart disease, psychological stress was the strongest predictor of future cardiac events.

“In a 10-year study, people who were not able to manage their stress effectively had a 40 percent higher death rate than those who were ‘unstressed.’

“Excessive stress long term can make you obese & unhealthy. In response to long-term stress, the hormone cortisol rises, which can cause blood pressure to rise, can cause the release of fats & sugar in the bloodstream, & may cause weight gain, elevated triglycerides, high cholesterol, & blood sugar. Cortisol will save your life if you are a POW or experiencing famine, because it slows your metabolic rate & helps to preserve your fat stores. But most of us aren’t POW’s or experiencing famine, & so the high cortisol levels usually lead to weight gain. . .

“Excessive stress can predispose a person to develop or aggravate every conceivable affliction. Clearly, disease & illness are often the shrapnel wounds from stress.”

This is not the time to merely read this information & mentally agree with it & then just set it aside. You now have the opportunity to look at your own life to determine how you handle stress. Do you need to do some work on learning how to effectively manage it better? Do you need help to learn how to rely on God to help you when you are faced with stressful situations?)

“Cancer is a message to change. . . It is a warning for us to change. The Cancer Conqueror calls this change resolve. When we resolve those areas in our lives where there is unrest, where there is anxiety, we make changes that will nurture love, joy & peace. That’s truly conquering cancer. The body will often respond physically to renewed feelings of hope. The mind’s resolution of conflicts is often followed by the body’s resolution of disease. This is true because body, mind, & spirit work together as one system.

(My journey with cancer has brought many changes into my life. I will admit that I did not welcome all of them, at first. However, I can now say that the journey has been a message to make changes in my life. Those changes have been to make improvements where I was falling short of my own goals I had set for my life a very long time ago. This experience has been a reminder to work on putting my priorities back in order. This is still a work in progress.

It has helped me in making additional progress in terms of overcoming the effects of the permanent brain damage that I continue to struggle to find ways to work around. Praise God!!

Faith doesn’t necessarily make things easy, but is does make all things possible! Praise God!!

I think it’s worth repeating the devotion, from the Foundation for Cancer Research & Wellness, I reprinted in Chapter 2. The verse of the day is James 1:2, but I think it’s important to put it in context with verses 3 & 4 also: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature & complete, not lacking anything.”

“Don't mistake what this passage means. No one expects you to be happy about your difficulties. The word happy comes from the word 'happenstance,' meaning our feelings depend on what happens to us. But we are expected to strive for joy. Joy is a sense of well-being, a sense of security, a sense of peace, no matter what happens to us. Joy is the feeling we want to achieve. Joy is feeling secure and content in every situation, in every challenge and in every way, knowing that God is taking care of us even in the most difficult of days.”

This shines a whole different light on this verse & passage. It doesn’t say we are to be happy about our trials/our cancer; it says we can strive to find joy, despite the fact that we have trials/cancer. This comes from our perception of the situation. Verses 3 & 4 give us the correct perspective we are to have about our trials. They are intended to help us to learn perseverance & to help us to mature. We will be better off for having gone through them. Realize that God meets our needs as we endure the trials. Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge & strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way & the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar & foam & the mountains quake with their surging.”

This perspective takes nurturing, on a regular basis. Maintaining my personal relationship with Jesus Christ through prayer & reading the Bible is vital to this process. I also find that listening to contemporary Christian music helps to focus my mind, as the lyrics fill my mind & lift my heart in worship & praise to God.)
“Choose to become a cancer conqueror!
“In a real sense, what you believe about this journey is what you’ll experience. You will choose your beliefs. Make sure you do not accept hand-me-down beliefs that lead to despair. Make certain that your beliefs empower you, that they serve you well.
******************************************************************************
After the visit is a section Greg Anderson inserts titled:
Believe: Recovering a Sense of the Possible
“Beliefs create actions. Actions create results. Results confirm beliefs. This is how self-fulfilling prophecies become reality.

“It amazes me how many cancer patients do not believe they can get well. Think of a bell-shaped curve; I have observed that at the one end [the left “tail”], 10 to 15 percent of patients actually welcome cancer & consider it an honorable way to die. In the middle of the curve, 70 to 80 percent of patients seem to just go along, dutifully fulfilling their passive role assigned by the doctor. At the far end [the right “tail”] of the curve is another 10 to 15 percent. These are the cancer conquerors. The most profound difference . . . is the set of underlying beliefs this group brings to the process.” Greg Anderson 1998 PBS television special, Creating Incredible Wellness

“Beliefs, & the resulting attitudes & expectations, constantly contribute to actual experience in all areas of life, including the experience of cancer. . . Beliefs can be chosen, but we seldom consciously choose them."

I would like to believe that many under the bell-shaped curve, which Anderson describes above, can be inspired to shift to the right, to become Cancer Conquerors, so the curve is skewed in favor of more than 10 to 15 percent Cancer Conquerors.

In closing this chapter, let me share another devotion from The Foundation for Cancer Research & Wellness
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

When God's people break under the burden of illness and human limitation, over and over again, God reaches out to revive and renew us. In all these ways and countless more, God intercedes, over and over again, to help, to save, to restore and revive us making us more than conquerors over all that rises up to bring us down. In God cancer cannot, will not, destroy us. It may threaten. But it shall not break us because God is stronger than any disease we can know.
PRAISE GOD!!!!

Ch 4 - Cancer Conquerors Resolve

2010-08-26T22:21:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 4 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible. ******************************************************************************
This week the man met Barbara. She explained, “Resolve starts with some fundamentals – diet & exercise. Good nutrition is essential for recovery. Make a shift toward a plant-based, low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar diet. Consider nutritional supplements, including vitamins, minerals, & herbs. . . I encourage you to become your own nutrition expert. I want you to act on the belief that what you put in your body is very important. You deserve the best in nutrition, especially now.”

(In chapter 7 of “My Story,” I relate how I came to ask my family doctor if she was aware of any doctor who could advise me in terms of nutrition &/or supplements to keep my immune system strong as I underwent cancer treatment. Due to having ulcerative colitis, I felt this might help me to better tolerate cancer treatment. She recommended Dr. Powers. At the time, I was not aware of the fact that it is possible to fight cancer with nutrition.

Chapters 12 & 13 of "My Story" recount my first appointment with Dr. Powers & my struggle to adopt & to adjust to a new eating plan. The way I was able to make the adjustment was through prayer, which helped to change my perspective, & through research, which helped me to understand how the supplements I was taking & the changes in my eating habits were helping to kill or to starve the cancer cells in my body. The research also reinforced my change in perspective. Since I have always been an avid reader, & I had done quite a lot of reading & research on nutrition many years ago, my interest in nutrition research was re-ignited.

The great reward, of adopting the changes in my diet, has been the health benefits I’ve enjoyed. Besides the wonderful test results, I am healthier now than I was the day I was diagnosed with cancer. I take far fewer prescription medications. Of the prescriptions I do take, I take lower dosages of some of them. The ulcerative colitis is an amazing example. I was taking 12 pills per day of one prescription & 2 pills a day of a 2nd prescription. Today, I am off of the 1st prescription & take only 1 pill per day of the 2nd!! Praise God!)

Barbara continued, “You don’t have a habit to change so much as you have a decision to make. Most people have significant room for improvement here. Just know this – even patients with limiting physical conditions can maintain an exercise program. The type & frequency is your decision. The benefits are both physical & psychological. . . Similar to nutrition research, study the literature available from the Foundation for Cancer Research & Wellness (I posted their 2 main recommended sources of information in a series of blogs, March 2010) & become your own exercise expert. Remember, the goal here is to feel more energized, not to become an Olympic athlete.”

(I would not call myself an exercise expert, but I have taught aerobics classes, in the past. I’ve always maintained an interest in sports. When I was younger I played a lot of tennis & bicycled. I’ve run, jogged, swam, & participated in water aerobics. However, I had become rather sedentary. As I explain in chapter 13 of “My Story,” I learned that cancer cells do not like oxygen; so, I resolved to exercise, on a regular basis, to kill more cancer cells. I’ve kept that commitment. I do feel MUCH stronger for including this as part of my weekly schedule.)

Barbara went on, “As important as nutrition & exercise are, when the Cancer Conqueror talks about resolve, she is actually putting the emphasis on issues of a psychological & emotional nature. In fact, she is really starting at the spiritual point of loving ourselves. Unless we have a healthy respect for ourselves, we probably won’t eat right or exercise.

(Matthew 22:39 “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This certainly implies that we are to love ourselves. We need to love ourselves enough to respect our bodies & to treat them responsibly.)

“Resolve asks us to look deep within to focus on, identifying & clearing our lives of emotional roadblocks & self-destructive behavior. This is a critically important exercise because the resolve principal is based on the premise that emotions affect us physically.”

The man asked if that was provable.

Barbara explained, “The whole area of psychoneuroimmunology, or PNI for short, is documenting this mind-over-illness phenomenon. The evidence suggests it is very real.

“The Cancer Conqueror urges us to acknowledge that beliefs, attitudes, & feelings go together to create a mental & emotional outlook toward life, an emotional lifestyle. Those emotions, either positive or negative, translate to the physical. Our beliefs, attitudes, & feelings lead to illness or wellness.

“Emotions are the core issue of resolving. . . PNI experts have given us overwhelming evidence that emotions occupy a central role in health. Consider this: Cancer cells are regularly present in virtually all people. Yet relatively few of these people become ill. That’s because the body’s immune system is so powerful; it is the natural enemy of abnormal cells. The immune system routinely contains or destroys these cells, allowing them to be carried away through natural bodily processes.” (See the blog “Growth Rate of Cancer – How Long Has it Been There,” posted June 25, 2009, for a more complete explanation of this process.)

“Yet when a malignant cell is not destroyed, what is behind the immune system’s less-than-optimal functioning? What lapse in the body’s defenses might allow these cells to develop into a life-threatening malignancy? And why has it developed now? What may have caused the immune system to function at less than full capacity, when for years it operated so effectively?

“Some people answer this by insisting it is a matter of genetics. Others say diet. Still others teach that it is carcinogens in the environment. All these may make a contribution to answering the question Why cancer now? But none offers a full explanation. . .

“It is at this point that PNI brings us back to emotional components. What is different? Research is providing clear & convincing evidence that the development of cancer requires more than just the presence of abnormal cells. It also requires suppression of the body’s natural defenses, the immune system. And the difference that could suppress the immune system? Changed emotional states.”

“Not only changed emotional states, but charged emotional states. Fear. Anger. Guilt. Hostility. All negative emotional states. All commonly the results of mismanaged stress. All potentially capable of depressing the person & the immune system.”

(The term psychoneuroimmunology was coined in 1975, but the science has its roots in research that began in the early 1900s. “PNI is the scientific field of study investigating the link between bi-directional communications among the nervous system, the endocrine (hormone) system, and the immune system and the implications of these linkages for physical health. . .

“Research over the past 20 years has seen the development of PNI, which is based primarily upon the neuro sciences of the central nervous systems, the neuroendocrine system & the immune system & their inter-relationships. The central nervous system [CNS] is a huge array of connections throughout the body . . . It allows the brain to send information throughout the body via chemicals generally referred to as information substances (IS). It was once thought that the brain sent out these [IS] to respond to the various problems in the body & that the communication was that of a one way direction. . . [T]he [CNS] virtually controls the body's defense mechanisms. . . ‘Every thought, emotion, idea or belief has a neurochemical consequence’.

“These natural chemical messengers, called Neuropeptides, were at one time thought to be found in the brain alone. Pioneering research by neuropharmacologist, Candice Pert, revealed that these neuropeptides are present on both the cell walls of the brain & in the immune system. These [IS] affect our emotions as well as our physiology. These cells of the body have their own receptors on the surface that act like satellite dishes, [which] receive the chemical [IS] being released by the brain & sometimes return messages at the appropriate times . . . As these complex messengers travel throughout the body they provide vital information & sometimes almost instant physical feedback. If you have ever encountered something unpleasant, possibly by surprise, you may have found yourself instantly shivering, then literally shaking off the feeling produced. This is a simple example of how fast the information can be transmitted from thought to physiology. The emotions we create are just that, created. This requires input from the brain. . . The discovery . . . that neuropeptides & neurotransmitters are also on cell walls of the immune system shows a close association with emotions & suggests that emotions & health are deeply interdependent. Showing that the immune & endocrine systems are modulated not only by the brain but by the [CNS] itself has had an impact on how we see disease & how it’s created. For its part, the endocrine system is a series of hormone secreting glands that themselves moderate the function & balance of the body. Primarily the pituitary, thyroid & adrenal glands send these hormonal chemicals to regulate the function of other organs. Using this network of transmitters & receivers the body is in constant adjustment to ensure balance.

“The balance is kept as long as the immune system is functioning optimally. The immune system is literally on patrol throughout the body & is a complex surveillance system. . . (white blood cells) are the keys to the immune system. Produced initially in the bone marrow of long bones, some of these cells known as stem cells will migrate to the thymus where they multiply & are known as T cells. Those cells that remain in the bone marrow mature to become B cells. Each attacks the enemy in different ways. Circulating in the body, when these antigens are discovered, an army of . . . (antibodies) is produced to attack the invader. To prevent this army of cells taking over, they in turn are suppressed & attacked. On this continuous patrol, natural killer (NK) cells attack & destroy cells that are produced by the [body] which are mutated or abnormal. It is this action which prevents most people contracting cancers or other immune deficient problems such as A.I.D.S.

“Research has indicated that an [inseparable] chemical link exists between our emotions, which includes all stress in our lives, both good & bad, & the regulatory systems of the [hormonal] & immune systems through the [CNS]. This research emphasizes the importance of expressing our emotions both verbally & physically in an appropriate way. When strong emotions generate fear, anger or rage & these are not expressed in a healthy way then the body's natural response is that of the sympathetic nervous system as demonstrated in . . . the fight or flight syndrome. At this point, inappropriate storing of these stressful emotions produces an excess of epinephrine. This excess of epinephrine causes a chemical breakdown, resulting in internal weakening of the immune system & an increased potential for disease.” http://www.nfnlp.com/psychoneuroimmunology_quinlan.htm

There is a tremendous amount to digest in the short piece printed above, but it certainly gives evidence of the link between our emotions & their effects on our physical bodies. When you get nervous, do you get sweaty palms, a dry mouth, or an upset stomach? Why? Aren’t your emotions having a physical effect on your body? This is what PNI studies & explains.

Other factors that can cause the immune system to be compromised are factors over which we have little or no control such as: traumatic physical injury, surgery; any illness, but especially severe and/or prolonged illness other than cancer; prolonged or chronic health issues; prescriptions & over-the-counter medications; traumatic life events.

Additional factors compromise our immune system over which we have control; they are a matter of a series of choices, such as: very poor eating habits over an extended period of time, other poor lifestyle choices practiced over a long period of time, etc. Perhaps you didn’t know these & MANY other factors can compromise your immune system & possibly CONTRIBUTE to the onset of cancer. It is unfair to focus on any ONE factor & lay blame at someone’s door step for your disease or to blame yourself for your disease. Instead, it’s much more productive & effective to focus on CANCER CONQUERING STRATEGIES.

Job 18:4a tells us “You tear yourself to pieces in your anger.” I think that’s pretty straightforward. The one who is hurt most by anger is the one who is angry. We are given this warning because anger that is harbored does emotional, spiritual, & physical damage to us, as it is described above in the discussion of PNI.

Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage & anger, brawling & slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” It is a process of spiritual growth to learn how to do this. As we mature, we learn to rely on the Holy Spirit’s power to help us overcome these emotional issues/sins & to love & to forgive others as God loves & forgives them.

Hanging onto emotional issues such as those listed in Ephesians 4, fear, anger, guilt, hostility, or even worry is like holding a basketball on your head. It gets more & more uncomfortable the longer we hold onto it. The only way to relieve the discomfort is to let go of the basketball – the issue causing our discomfort/stress. If we know we are releasing it into capable hands of someone we trust, without reservation, it’s easier to do this. The trick is to NOT TAKE IT BACK, after we’ve released it. The Holy Spirit can help us to release our grip & remind us to leave the “basketball” with God.

Paul speaks about forgiveness in 2 Corinthians 2:5-8: “If anyone has caused grief, . . . he has grieved all of you, to some extent. . . The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive & comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.”

These examples warn us not to harbor emotions, because they are sinful & because they become emotional baggage that is emotionally, & often physically, crippling. James 5:16 states “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” The condition for healing, in this verse, is confession of sins & praying for each other.

How are our prayers powerful & effective? If we are righteous, but how can we be righteous? First, 2 Timothy says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” Second, Romans 1:17 says, “For in the Gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’" To me, this says we are made righteous by faith in Jesus Christ, but it is also an ongoing process of training through studying & practicing the principles learned in the Bible.)

“Much of the emotional aspect of cancer,” she continued, “can be understood in the framework of stress. Actually, the issue isn’t the stress but how we respond to stress. . .

“The point is change. Both the negative & positive events of life are often experienced as emotional conflict. It is not enough to analyze the stressful events or to acquire new coping skills. Our point of power is to see beyond the stress & understand the emotions. . .”

“Two things must happen in successful stress management. The Cancer Conqueror calls this management the Stress Solver System: Change your perception of yourself & change your perception of your problem.”

“It’s that basic. We need to change our perception of ourselves & our ability to handle whatever life problems face us, particularly the stresses before cancer. Plus, we need to be able to perceive those problems as being less threatening. Arguably, you could solve the emotional conflict with just one change in perception. But increasing personal power & decreasing problem power is the essence of successful stress management. . .”

(One of the greatest blessings of God’s promise that my cancer “is not a death sentence,” before the surgeon delivered the news that the lymph node biopsy was malignant, is that God protected my belief system. It gave me a hopeful outlook. My perspective was FAR different than it would have been if God had not spoken this promise of hope to me. If you’ve read chapter 2 of “My Story,” you know what my preconceived notions of cancer were, as we waited to hear my initial biopsy results. My mind raced with negative thoughts.

In chapter 3 of “My Story,” you can read how my husband, Ed, & I reacted to the news the first couple of days. We had a very real sense of God’s comforting presence. Although we were exhausted, we felt so very blessed for the love we shared for each other & for God.

I thank God that Ed made the initial calls to our kids & my brother & sister, to tell them that I’d been diagnosed with cancer. After he had broken the news & filled them in, I was able to talk with each of them to assure them that I was actually OK. Once they were told & I had talked with them, I found it easier to later tell others that I’d just been diagnosed with cancer. Their supportive concern & offers to pray for me were a tremendous boost to my morale. However, the barrage of questions was sometimes a little overwhelming. I knew they were asking questions out of concern, & I desperately wanted & needed their care & concern. The difficult part was the emotional toll it was taking on me. Since we worked at the same place, Ed tried to re-direct some mutual friends & acquaintances, by fielding their questions, so that I did not have to deal with answering all of them, but that was not entirely possible. In the cases where he had answered the inquires, I received greetings, hugs, & comments of care & concern. Since I was still working, I was trying to act as if nothing was wrong when I stepped in front of a class of students. This was, also, taking an emotional toll on me.

Quite honestly, I found that I needed some help to deal with the stress, as I describe in chapter 2 of "My Story;" I did use medication to help me through the early months of dealing with the numerous dimensions of arriving at a final diagnosis & staging of my cancer. This is the means by which I felt I needed to address this issue. It was a matter of prayer, but my injured brain was not cooperating with the overwhelming number of issues we were facing, as I tried to continue my normal schedule. The medication “decreased the problem power” for me. It was a temporary “fix” for a temporary problem. Once I got past that stage, I’ve had stressful times, but I’ve been able to manage them through prayer & with the support of family & friends who continually lift me up in prayer & stay in contact with me. James 5:16b “pray for each other.”1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

In Luke 1:37 Jesus said, “For nothing is impossible with God.” There’s no problem too big that He cannot help us to work through it. We may need to see a physician for medication or seek professional help to learn strategies to better deal with problems that have plagued us for years that are now amplified by this situation or to deal with problems we need support &/or accountability to work through. Although I have not needed to seek professional help to deal with issues related to my journey with cancer, there was a time that I sought professional help to deal with emotional issues from my past. I praise God for the Christian counselor who helped me work through those issues & to learn safe & effective ways to unpack my emotional baggage & to deal with emotionally charged issues in the future.)

“The outcome of mismanaged stress is chronic emotional conflict. And continuing emotional conflict – chronic fear, anger, guilt, & hostility – leads to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, & despair. From here, it is a short step to depression.”
“Okay,” said the man. “But this doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get cancer.”
“That’s correct,” said Barbara. “There is no 100 percent link. But PNI studies are demonstrating there is a strong correlation between a depressed mind & a depressed immune system. . .”

“A chronically depressed immune system can lead to illnesses of many kinds, including cancer.”

Barbara shared her story about her divorce after 32 years of marriage & 4 children. She described her feelings of fear, anger & worthlessness. She then became depressed. She felt as if she was a victim, under her husband’s control, a victim of life. She felt like a failure.
“Mentally & emotionally I took everything to its worst possible conclusion.
“I failed to realize hope & hopelessness are both choices. And I have a personal responsibility for those choices! Why not choose hope?
“We can choose to be victors instead of victims!”

(We need not fall victim to the disease of cancer. We can be victorious over it, regardless of the outcome, IF we resolve to live each day to the fullest & live in full ASSURANCE of where we will spend eternity. Romans 10:9-10 tells us, “if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ & believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe & are justified, & it is with your mouth that you confess & are saved.” 1 Corinthians 15:55-56 (New Living Translation) says, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? For sin is the sting that results in death, & the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin & death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” In The Message Bible 1 Peter 1:3-4 says, “What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life & have everything to live for, including a future in heaven -- & the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us & the future.”I love how it states that we have everything to LIVE for!! This charges my batteries with a healthy dose of “resolve” to live as a conqueror of the disease, with God’s all-sufficient grace to meet the challenges that lie before me. It's a wonderful antidote for 'awfulizing!')

The most difficult step in conquering cancer is “to concede weakness or helplessness. . . By doing so, you have opened yourself to untold possibilities. Once you free yourself from the role of victim, you can begin self-renewal. You can take on the role of victor. . .”

“What you do now is begin to work on nurturing & renewing your mind & your emotions. The victim stance is full of toxic emotions. The victor stance is characterized by a calm & serene focus. Inner serenity is your 1st priority. That is the gateway to conquering cancer. A calm, quiet focused mind & spirit is step one in the journey to wellness. . .”

(When I unpacked my bottled up emotions it was as if a VERY HEAVY weight was lifted off of me, which gave me peace of mind! My entire outlook changed. I was finding it hard to smile, hard to find joy in life, nothing seemed to bring satisfaction. My emotions were in neutral. I found it hard to feel any depth in any positive emotion. I couldn’t even cry when I was sad. I was very cynical & critical of myself & others. I could say, “I love you,” with my lips, but it wasn’t very apparent in my voice inflection or facial expression. Oh, I had prayed about this & had forgiven those who had caused the pain of my past, but I had also stowed away the emotions that I felt – the pain, anger, fear, & disappointment, etc. – & never dealt with them. What a life change to finally have that burden lifted!!! Psalm 31:7 “I will be glad & rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction & knew the anguish of my soul.”

In terms of a cancer conquering spirit, I needed to deal with negative emotions brought about by the disease itself. I thank God that I am not prone to depression, but I will confess that I am prone to other emotional weaknesses. I know I can depend on God to help me. First, Ephesians 4:23 says, “be made new in the attitude of you minds.”And Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test & approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing & perfect will.” When I see things the way God sees them, it changes my perspective & removes my emotions from the equation, without denying them. I can look at them more objectively & ask God to help me manage them, rather than letting them control me.

Psalm 28:7a “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.” I‘ve needed His help as I’ve dealt with MANY, MANY aspects of the journey. As you read the chapters of "My Story," you will find that I am not shy about sharing these struggles, but you will also find that I also share the victories I found. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the common denominator in every instance. Praise God for his all-sufficient grace that has been poured out in abundance on my life! “The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” 1 Timothy 1:14

This helps to keep my spirit calm & to keep my mind focused on God, who I know is the source of all that I need, for conquering my cancer. Philippians 4:19 “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”)

“The Cancer Conqueror helped me so much when she shared the 3 most consistent traits of the cancer-prone personality:”
1. Tendency to bottle up emotions
2. Excessive difficulty grieving loss
3. Judgmentalism, being unduly critical of others

(Be aware, this is generalized. You may not fit this profile. I hope you don’t. I, on the other hand, fit 2/3 of this profile. The 1st & 3rd characteristics stung like pouring rubbing alcohol on an open wound!)

“Those personality characteristics can lead to emotional lifestyles dominated by fear, anger, hostility, & guilt. They can depress the immune system & allow cancer, & other illnesses, to flourish.”

(Now, I do not characterize myself as dominated by fear, anger, hostility, & guilt. These do not seem to be entirely consistent with the 3 characteristics listed above, but there is SOME relationship. Again, this is a generalized statement. However, there is scientific evidence that supports the statement.

I can put myself under a great deal of stress, due to my perfectionist personality. I demand a great deal of myself, despite the excuse of a brain injury. I will work extra hours to be over-prepared; so, I can do things as normally as possible, in hopes that observers will not recognize my handicaps. I spend hours agonizing over planning, organizing, writing & editing my blogs & chapters of "My Story." Then I have 2 to 6 people proof read what I’ve written, to check for errors & for whether or not they think I’ve conveyed the message I intended to convey, before you see them posted.

As we were going through the process of appointments & tests, in the fall of 2007, to arrive at a final diagnosis & staging of my cancer, we made a decision that I would not teach in the spring of 2008. At first, this decision was made because we thought I would be undergoing surgery, followed by chemotherapy & radiation treatments. It would not be possible to teach under those conditions. By the time we made the decision to go with the hormone blocker treatment, it was too late to reverse the decision. Second, Ed was concerned by the amount of stress I was under while teaching & felt that it would be better if I didn’t have this stress to contend with while trying to handle cancer treatment & recovery. He was sure there was some connection between high stress & the growth of cancer; so, we felt it best to let the decision stand, even if it were possible for me to be given a class, at the last minute.

I had always been a very active person, prior to my auto accident, in 1999. I worked full-time, volunteered for a national ministry, volunteered at our local church doing the same ministry, taught Sunday school 1 or 2 quarters per year, conducted financial seminars, spoke at various churches, from time to time; 2 daughters participated in sports; 1 daughter participated in a choral group; my husband & I attended every sporting event & choral production; we entertained at our home frequently, occasionally taught Bible studies, etc. Today, I can’t believe I had time to do all the things I did & still took care of my family & household responsibilities. After the accident, I tried, after 6 months, returning to work part-time. It didn’t work out. Although I was very glad to see my clients & they were happy to see me, I couldn’t handle the pace of the job. A change in the securities’ laws, during the time I was off, necessitated different paperwork, which increased my frustrations. I don’t think I lasted 2 months before I resigned. I knew I had to do it; God had a different plan for my future.

I had signed up to take college classes, to help with recovery from the brain injury. At the time, I didn’t understand the fact that they are permanent, & no one told me any differently when I said that’s why I was taking classes. Oh well; with prayer, persistence & extended time to take exams, God helped me to learn strategies to work around some of the deficiencies. Part way through my degree program, I had cognitive testing done, which helped me to understand my brain injury & the extent of it. I now have an even better appreciation for how God has worked in my life to help me find strategies to work around my disabilities. This was fertile training ground for my journey with cancer.

As I told friends & acquaintances that I was diagnosed with cancer, several of them told me they were sure I would handle it with the same faith & courage that I handled my auto accident. They were right about the faith, but they gave me far too much credit. I knew that I had only handled it BY THE GRACE OF GOD. It was uncomfortable to have so much credit given to me, when I knew how much I depended on God to get me through on a daily basis.

It’s easy to let severe injuries or a disease, such as cancer, defeat us. It can make us angry or fearful. We may have reason to grieve perceived losses. These are emotions we need to sincerely give to God. We have to work through each of them, not deny them. Am I angry that I have cancer? Anger is a normal emotion, but it’s only a problem if we harbor it because it can control us. We are told, in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”

By taking college classes, my life had a routine & schedule, which I needed. Once I graduated, I found that I liked the freedom of no schedule, for a while, but I realized that I wasted a lot of time. Taking the part-time teaching job was my return to the workforce after 4 & a half years away from working full time. Teaching part-time re-introduced a routine & schedule into my life. With an upper brain stem injury, it’s easy to get lost in doing one thing & lose track of time. It’s also easy to get distracted from doing what I should be doing. When I have a routine & responsibilities with deadlines, I do a better job of staying on task to get what MUST be done completed. Anything that is not part of my daily or weekly routine is a toss-up, in terms of whether or not I will even remember to do it.

Cancer can be seen as opening opportunities to us or as robbing us of opportunities. I had choices to make. My career had been “taken away” by my auto accident. I sought a degree to open new doors, which were previously closed to me, because I did not have a college degree. Was cancer “taking away” my opportunity? Was I disappointed? Yes. Is there a possibility of a different opportunity? Yes. What about the fact that I have lost my face-to-face social contact with students & peers? Did it cause some grieving? Yes. What can I do to overcome this? I have to replace this with another form of contact & less frequent face-to-face contact. All of this took time; it’s a process to work through each item as it arises. There are MANY things in my life that changed along the way. Some changes were easier to adapt to than others; there were welcomed & unwelcomed changes. God’s grace has been sufficient to meet each challenge. The lesson to be learned is that we need to be aware of our stress & deal with it in a healthy manner so that it does not weaken our immune system & make it more difficult for our bodies to perform their natural function of recognizing & destroying cancer cells. Over time, I have found that God has used the fact that I am not working to open MANY, MANY opportunities that would not have been possible if I were working. Praise God!! I have more time to spend with Ed & with my family; I have more time to read, research & write; I have more time to travel with Ed, our children & with friends. I could go on, but you get the idea - my quality of life has been enhanced! I believe that research supports the fact that these loving experiences have a positive effect on my immune system, in the same way that negative emotions have a negative effect on it.

“The science of [PNI] presents solid information about the communication link that exists between the mind-brain & body. Certainly evidence has been established that supports the idea of some illnesses being contractible or aggravated by psychosocial pressure which induces stress in the [body]. It is too simplistic to believe that all diseases have their basis in emotions but a growing number of experts believe that some diseases are emotional, as opposed to organic in origin. A sense of loss of control over ones situation can lead to a loss of normal homeostasis. When this happens, our immune system is weakened making it easier to contract disease. While it is certain that the biological, [medical treatment] approach has made amazing advances, its limitations lay in not capitalizing on the patient's emotional well-being from a humanistic approach. A complimentary approach would appear to be best for the patient's well-being. This would require a huge paradigm shift for the present way in which the medical community completes its business. http://www.nfnlp.com/psychoneuroimmunology_quinlan.htm )

“Here we are again. I keep thinking I caused my own cancer!” The man sighed.
“No, now just recall our beliefs,” said Barbara. “Remember that we probably did contribute to the illness on a subconscious level. But the key is this: If you acknowledge that you may have contributed to the illness, then by definition you must also acknowledge that you can contribute to your wellness.”
“. . .Remember, cancer is a reversible disease. You can contribute to that reversal.
“Okay,” said the man. “I want to get well! I’m choosing to live! Where do I start to resolve?”
“You’ve already started.” She smiled. “What you do next is take a rigorous inventory of yourself. The Cancer Conqueror gives us 3 questions that, if treated with respect, will lead us to higher self awareness.”

1. What high-stress, emotionally disruptive events happened to you in the past year or 2 before diagnosis? (I, respectfully, disagree with this time frame, based on the growth rate of cancer information I have received. In almost every case, it takes, on average, 9 years for a tumor to grow to 1 cm; current diagnostic technology allows detection of tumors that are between 7mm & 1 cm. 7mm is just slightly larger than ¼”. When your cancer is diagnosed, it has, in almost all cases, been there for much longer than 2 years. One author states that it takes between 5 & 40 years for the “seed” of cancer to become a detectable cancerous tumor.

How can we know what high-stress events or combination of factors contributed to the onset of our disease, with any certainty? However, the practice of resolving emotionally disruptive conflicts from our past is still a meaningful & valuable experience. I recommend that you don’t put a 2-year time frame on it, or lay blame at its feet. Instead, take responsibility to unpack your emotional baggage & to resolve your emotional conflicts, with God’s help. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18. “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:18.

As we resolve these issues, our perspective changes for the better. We recognize God’s hand in helping us overcome these emotionally disruptive events & give Him praise. This increases the joy in our lives, which increases our strength. Nehemiah 8:10d says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” I know this to be true; I’ve personally experienced it!)
a. Get in touch with the way we react to those events (Psalm 73:23-24a “I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel.”)
b. Can we now look at different & more constructive ways of handling the situation?

2. What emotional needs might you be meeting or masking with the cancer?
a. Look at the motivation behind our illness-related behavior
b. Examine what needs we might be meeting or masking with the illness. What am I gaining from cancer?

3. What health options might you choose to fulfill these needs?
a. Recognize the real needs we feel, do not deny them
b. Fulfill these needs in healthy, positive ways

“The Cancer Conqueror helped me resolve nearly all those issues when she explained that our central task in resolving is to forgive – ourselves & others. Then she traced how certain processes help people release resentments & forgive both real & perceived wrongs, thus opening the mind & body to healing. In fact, the Cancer Conqueror believes forgiveness is the most powerful psycho-spiritual component in getting well again. . .

(Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

John Maxwell, in his book Winning With People, explains that those who are hurting often hurt other people; they often are hurt by other people, & they often hurt themselves. He uses an illustration to express how hurting people are hurt by others. “If someone who has a splinter in his finger & he allows it to remain there, his finger becomes swollen & infected. Then if another person barely brushes against it, the individual howls with pain & says, ‘You hurt me!’ But the reality is that the problem isn’t with the person who innocently bumped the finger. It’s with the person who has the splinter but has neglected to address the injury.

“Emotional pain works in a similar way. Hurting people overreact, over-exaggerate, & overprotect. They also over-influence. By that I mean they control relationships. . . As you interact with others, remember this: anytime a person’s response is larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.”

I appreciate Maxwell’s advice with regard to solving these problems. He says, “Most people just want a quick fix, something to give them some relief in the moment. That’s why some choose to lash out; it makes them feel better temporarily. Others use alcohol, food, sex, or something else to lessen the pain. . . ‘If you want to become well, you need more than a fix. You need to become fit.’

“People who seek emotional fitness don’t look for momentary relief. They search for what’s right. How can you tell what kind of person you are? People searching for a fix stop working at resolving a problem as soon as the pain or pressure is relieved. People seeking fitness continue doing what’s right & improving themselves even when the discomfort goes away.

“Delving into your old hurts & emotional issues often takes the help of a professional counselor & can be a messy proposition, but it’s worth it. . . If your relational capacity is ‘clogged up,’ you may have to do some digging to make things right. And you may have to deal with some pretty nasty stuff. But the reward is that you may discover some treasures that you didn’t know existed. And at the end of your hard work, you can develop a healthy capacity for relationships.”

As a cancer patient, who is made keenly aware of how precious each day is, I want to spend every day living in healthy, loving relationships, which are more important than ever before! It’s a wonderful bonus that this also contributes to my recovery!!)

“With forgiveness, I could choose differently. Now I could look upon myself & others with compassion, even love. In fact, for the first time I realized others were doing the best they could, given their level of awareness. And that applied to me as well. The issue was not blame at all. . .

“I actively forgave others. I wished them well & imagined good things happening to them. It was a truly a wonderful exercise that transformed my mind & spirit. And I forgave myself. I realized that my feeling loved was not dependent on others showing me attention or affection. It was instead dependent upon my showing love to others. Whenever I did, I felt loved. And I believe that by resolving this emotional conflict, I helped my body heal.

“For me,” Barbara continued. . . “the real need was to replace fear, anger, resentment, & guilt with love, joy, & peace. . .

“Time after time the people who conquer cancer are the ones who work systematically at resolving their emotional conflicts. The central issues are accepting personal responsibility on all levels of life, frankly examining fundamental beliefs, managing stress better, improving self-love, & nurturing better relationships through loving & forgiving. . . In order to conquer cancer a person needs to arrive at the point where he or she says, ‘I value myself & I am unwilling to remain miserable. I will no longer live this old destructive way.’
“Just remember that our emotions don’t just happen to us, we choose them.
“We can’t control life, but we can control our response to life.
“Clearing our lives of emotional turmoil is a live message. This is resolving!”
“It’s interesting,” said the man. “Resolve isn’t changing the circumstances so much as changing ourselves.”

“Precisely,” said Barbara. “We can’t change anyone but ourselves. That is the key. It’s true. I became a cancer conqueror not because I went into remission. I became a cancer conqueror because I chose to become a new person!

“Nobody will tell you it is easy. Simple? Yes. Easy? No. Just try to remember that change, like our emotions, is a choice. New choices are not easy. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
********************************************************************************
Following the narrative is an informational section titled:
Resolve: Letting Go of Fear, Anger, & Guilt

Dr. Steven Greer at King’s College Hospital in England compared a group of women with mastectomy for breast cancer. Survival was nearly 3 times greater among those who developed a fighting spirit in response to the diagnosis compared with those who felt hopeless & helpless.

Dr. Spiegel at Stanford University directed a study of breast cancer patients who participated in emotionally expressive groups. The findings: Participants lived twice as long as nonparticipants.

At UCLA, Dr. Fawzy Fawzy followed malignant melanoma patients who participated in emotionally supportive groups. Participants in a six-week program that taught better emotional coping skills lived twice as long as those in control groups who did not take part.

Your appreciation of the link between emotions & health is 2nd in importance only to your understanding of the entire range of choices in physical treatments.

(For me, God comes first in my life – always! In Mark 12:30 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” This certainly requires that He is first in my life. I know he has a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11-13 “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call upon me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I know this is not a guarantee of a “charmed life,” because I’m also told in Habakkuk 3:19 [Amplified Bible] “The lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, & my invisible army . . . and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] & make [spiritual progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility.]” In 1 Peter 1:6-7 I’m told, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine & may result in praise, glory & honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” If my faith is not tested, do I really need faith to live by? How do I know or others know it’s real? Do I have the opportunity to experience God’s power working through my life in my everyday experiences if I’m living a “charmed, perfect life?”

The day I confessed my sins & asked for forgiveness & received His gracious free gift of salvation God began to work in my life, through the Holy Spirit. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Philippians 1:6 says, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I know God will continue to work in my life until the moment I draw my last breath. 1 Corinthians 2:10b-12 “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit with in him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world by the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.”

When I discovered the enlarged, painful lymph node, I turned to God first. Yes, I called my family physician to make an appointment, but I needed to seek God’s peace, encouragement, & hope, as I sought medical advice & waited on test results. As I learned that the lymph node was malignant & the process progressed, we continued to depend on God for strength, comfort, a sense of His peace & hope in the midst of uncertainty, & for guidance as we were asked to make decisions. If you’re reading “My Story,” as I complete chapters, you know how we rely on God as we travel this journey. No decisions are made without seeking God’s guidance. We have to rely on our intellect, too, as we are proactive. We ask LOTS of questions; we do our homework by reading information & research. We need help in finding credible resources that can be trusted, & we need help in sorting through pros & cons when making decisions. There are times when we look at 2 sides of an argument in research, when there are contradictory views among researchers or between doctors. It is vitally important to have God’s guidance! We are so thankful for God’s promises! Philippians 1:9-10a says, “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more & more IN KNOWLEDGE & DEPTH OF INSIGHT, SO THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO DISCERN WHAT IS BEST [Emphasis added].”

God is the head of my medical team. Proverbs 4:11 says, “I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.” We are certain that He was instrumental in the choices of my oncologists & even the oncologist I saw for a 2nd opinion. Although we did not consciously pray & ask, “God, which oncologist should we see,” it is obvious, in retrospect, that he was in control of the choices that were made. We are certain He directed us in making the choice of my primary medical treatment & the addition of the alternative treatment.

Throughout my journey, it has been important to maintain a strong relationship with God through prayer & searching the Bible. I always need my personal relationship with Him to remain strong & the lines of communication to remain open. Not only does this sustain my spiritual strength [Psalm 28:7a,b “The Lord is my strength & my shield; my heart trusts in him, & I am helped.”], this is how we make choices about my treatment, & work through emotional issues to remain emotionally healthy – by prayerfully consulting God & His Word. I am reassured in John 8:47, “He who belongs to God hears what God says.”)

Cancer most often changes the way people relate to one another. Many patients & support people develop new, usually more spiritual, perspectives on life. And cancer is often the catalyst to filling some unmet emotional needs. The side benefits can be positive & most meaningful. . . Life takes on a new quality. Cancer has helped them live fuller & richer lives.

For me, resolve is a NEVER GIVE UP mentality, because God is on my side. The reason I never give up is because I never give up on God’s promises & the hope I have in Him. Many of the issues covered in this journey with the Cancer Conqueror are issues I had faced & dealt with previously. If I dealt with them now, it was in regard to the way cancer was affecting my life, rather than issues with people and/or events of my past. One of the new issues was looking at my personality profile, but I had done some work on these traits. Certain aspects have been re-introduced as symptoms of my brain injury & are more difficult to extinguish because of the way in which my brain functions. These MAY be contributing factors, but they are not the only cause of it. The caution is to not to allow this to cause me to blame myself for my cancer. By the grace of God, I work through these issues with His help, as they arise.

Below are some AWESOME promises that charge my “resolve” batteries:
Jeremiah 31:3b “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”

In John 10:10b Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, & have it to the full.”
Romans 5:17 (The Message) says, “If death got the upper hand through one man’s wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?”

Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge & strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way & the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar & foam & the mountains quake with their surging.”

3 John 2 “. . . I pray that you may enjoy good health & that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
I trust that as I keep God & my relationship with Jesus Christ at the center of my life, I will continue to enjoy good health. I also realize that I have a responsibility to take care of my body. God does not make choices for me about which food I will eat at each meal or for snacks, regular exercise, taking nutritional supplements as scheduled, getting rest, taking time to pray & to read my Bible, etc. These are decisions I make each day; they are my response-ability. God has promised to heal me, but I do not just sit idly & wait for him to do it, without making any changes in my lifestyle or eating habits. He is the one who has led me to read the research that has taught me how these things affect the growth rate of cancer.

Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you & teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you & watch over you.”

Proverbs 2:1-6 “. . .if you accept my words & store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom & applying your heart to understanding, & if you call out for insight & cry aloud for understanding, & if you look for it as for silver & search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord & find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, & from his mouth come knowledge & understanding.”
Proverbs 16:22 “Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it.”
Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.” Praise God!!!

Ch 5 - Cancer Conquerors Live

2010-08-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 5 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible. ******************************************************************************
This week the man met with John to discuss his next assignment. He walked into John’s office & found him, unsuccessfully, juggling balls. When John dropped the balls on the floor, he just promised to practice again tomorrow, with a laugh. After exchanging pleasantries, John told the man a story of a handsome prince who was turned into a frog by a wicked witch. Of course, you know how the story goes. The spell could only be broken by a kiss from a beautiful fair maiden. John went into detail about the thoughts that went through the head of the princess who happened upon this poor prince-disguised-as-a-frog, at the edge of a pond, when she was asked for a kiss to break the spell. I’m sure you’ve guessed the ending. She trusted her instincts & kissed the frog, “& the handsome prince appeared. And they lived happily ever after.”

John explained that he went through the story so the man “will remember that our job is to become frog kissers!”
“A frog kisser? What does that mean?”
“What we are talking about, my friend, is love – unconditional love. And the truth is, that kind of love conquers cancer.

(The unconditional love spoken of is not only for others but for ourselves as well. When we love with conditions, we set others &/or ourselves up for failure; we become judge & jury. They/we are sure to fail to meet our expectations, since they/we are human. Then we are disappointed, disillusioned, upset, angry, resentful, depressed, etc.

If we don’t love ourselves, we will not implement the cancer conquering strategies. We don’t feel that we are worth the effort. We don’t respect ourselves enough to take responsibility, as discussed in chapter 2 of this book. In some cases, a person feels he/she doesn’t “deserve” to recover from the disease. He or she is not worthy of such a “blessing.”His or her life is not worth the effort of working toward recovery. They are satisfied to just “accept their fate.” There’s nothing they can do to change the outcome. Couldn’t they at least improve their quality of life by loving themselves enough to work toward recovery? I believe they most certainly would. Have you witnessed the defeatist attitude in a person who replies to a friend’s farewell of, “I’ll see you next week,” by stating, “if I’m still here?” This is not a statement from a person on his or her death bed or who has been given the prognosis of a short time to live, although it certainly sounds as if it is. Cancer Conquerors love themselves & value their lives. They are not egotistical about themselves, but they love themselves as God intends us to love ourselves. These are the people who apply the 8 strategies, which are listed & described, as part of my introduction to this book, that are woven into the journeys with the Cancer Conqueror. They know they are loved & valued by God. They want as much quality as possible out of whatever quantity of time they have to live on this earth – they live life to the fullest, as God intends for us to do. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, & have life to the full.” We are told, in Jeremiah 31:3b, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” God’s love has no end. Nothing will cause Him to stop loving us. We are very important to God.

Psalm 139:1-6 says, “O Lord, you have searched me & you know me. You know when I sit & when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out & my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in – behind & before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” Imagine how important we are that God knows all these details about each one of us. If we were insignificant, would he bother to know us this intimately? As we understand our worth, we can also understand the worth of others, as it is also measured by God’s unconditional love. We can learn to separate the person from their actions & attitudes; in that way, we are able to love & accept the person, even if we do not love, share, or accept their actions, attitudes, or perspectives.

In Matthew 22:39 Jesus tells us, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Doesn’t this imply that the degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you will love your neighbor? I think it does.

As long as we are the judge & jury over others &/or ourselves, we project our conditioned “experiences onto the outside world. We assume we are seeing the world the way it is, but we’re not. We’re seeing it as we are – or as we have been conditioned to be. And until we gain the capacity to step out of our own autobiography – to set aside our own glasses & really see the world through the eyes of others – we will never be able to build deep, authentic relationships & have the capacity to influence in positive ways.” Steven R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.

1 Peter 3:8 “. . . live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”)

“If I could give you just one insight on how to conquer cancer,” said John, “it would be to love, to be a frog kisser. And my advice would be to love yourself 1st – to kiss the frog in the mirror.

(John Maxwell, in his book, Winning With People, talks about self image as follows:

“Poet T. S. Eliot observed, ‘Half of the harm that is done in the world is due to people who want to feel important. They do not mean harm. They are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.’ People are like water: they find their own level. A person with a negative self-image will expect the worst, damage relationships, & find others who are similarly negative. Those with a positive self-image will expect the best for themselves. And those who have a self-image that is both positive & accurate are likely to be highly successful, see others as potentially successful, & gravitate to other successful people. As psychologist Nathaniel Branden said, ‘We tend to feel most comfortable, most ‘at home’ with persons whose self-esteem level resembles our own. Opposites may attract about some issues, but not this one.’”

Maxwell continues: “. . . Your image of yourself restricts your ability to build healthy relationships. A negative self-image will even keep a person from being successful. And even when a person with a poor self-image does somehow achieve success, it won’t last because he will eventually bring himself down to the level of his own expectations . . .

“Psychologist & New York Times bestselling author Phil McGraw states, ‘I always say that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You’ve got to be your own best friend first.’ How can you be ‘best friends’ with someone you don’t know or don’t like? You can’t. That’s why it’s so important to find out who you are & work to become someone you like & respect.”)

“The Cancer conqueror teaches that many people, particularly many cancer patients, grow up with the idea they are somehow flawed & their lack of perfection makes them unacceptable. People who feel like this often act as if they must cover up this central defect if they are to be accepted, if they are to have any chance for love.

“The Cancer Conqueror cites how often cancer patients tend to be perfectionists, overachieving workaholics who repress their real feelings in their busywork. They judge their worth by their work, how well they did it, how much of it they did, & how long they worked at it. And, even when successful, these people often don’t feel good about their accomplishments. They may even resent others for not noticing their work.

“These people want to be judged by what they do – their work – rather than by who they are as individuals. And the trouble is, their good work is never good enough. And the praise, from self & others, is never quite loud enough!

“Because of their profound inner emptiness & their despair, people with this characteristic often come to view all their relationships in terms of finding something to fill the void. This is the conditional love you hear so much about. These people give love, give of themselves, give anything, only on the condition that they get something in return for it.”
“Like what?” asked the man.
“It could be anything. People’s conditions for love are vastly different. Some people want economic security. Some seek fame or power. Others want love & nurturing in return. Most seek approval from others; validation is what psychologists call it. The trouble with behavior that places conditions on love is that it is manipulative. It is conditional, contingent upon getting something back. It is an ‘if love.’ It leads to an even deeper sense of emptiness because it will always fail to satisfy.

(I found this difficult to read, because it pointed a finger at me. I was guilty of “if” love, but I didn’t want to admit it. After my auto accident, in 1999, I had realized that I had been wrapped up in too many activities that robbed my family of time I should have been spending with them. Because I was no longer able to manage multi-tasking & that many activities, it was a blessing that helped keep my priorities straight, in addition to the fact that, having nearly lost my life, I had a healthy appreciation for the fact that EVERY DAY OF LIFE IS A GIFT FOM GOD. Psalm 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice & be glad in it.”

I was now realizing that my involvements were, in part, my way of seeking validation & approval from others. Without a doubt I’m a perfectionist & overachiever!!! I repressed my feelings in busyness. I won’t bore you with the entire list of things I did, even as a housewife & mother to seek validation & approval from my parents, grandparents, in-laws & friends. I judged my worth by what I did for my family, by what I did for other people. I had to realize that I was judging myself by the wrong standard!

After my auto accident, I had LOTS of visitors. One day Pastor Darrell Lamos, our associate pastor, was visiting me. At the end of the visit, he asked if there was a particular passage of Scripture I wanted him to read. I could think of a portion of a verse in Psalm 18 but didn’t know which verse it was from; so, I asked him to read Psalm 18. I heard him open his Bible to it & then flip the page back & forth, to see how long it is. He then told me that it is 50 verses long & asked if I wanted him to read all of it. You have to realize that this was not long after the accident. My short-term memory was EXTREMELY short. My attention span was VERY brief, & I could only remember things I was told for a minute or so. Obviously, I have very few memories from that time period; the memories I do have are VERY brief snippets of time! It’s only by God’s grace that my attention span & memory of this circumstance are SO DETAILED & SO LONG. I said, “Yes.” When he finished, he commented that he was surprised at how much of it fit so well with my situation! By the way, I did hear him read the verses I wanted to hear – verses 16&17.

As my short-term memory lengthened & I began to regain the ability to process what had happened to me, physically. I was told that a good friend, who was only a year older than me, had died of a stroke. What a shock! I asked God, “Why did Dave die & I live?” God’s answer was that I may never know, this side of heaven, why Dave died. I lived because He’s not finished with me yet. That answer was enough for a couple of days. I was in awe of the fact that God had spared my life; I couldn’t believe it. I asked again why God had spared my life. He said he loved me; I was special to Him. Of course, I wanted to know what he meant what He meant by saying I was special. I sure didn’t see myself as “special.” Then God said, “Let me ask you a question.” I’m thinking, ‘God is going to ask me a question? This is awesome!’ Of course, I said, “OK.” He said, “What if it was one of your children in this bed instead of you, what would you want for them?”
“I would want the very best for them. You know that, God.”
God asked, “Why?”
I said, “Because they are my child.”
God asked, “Would it make a difference which one it was?”
I said, “No!”
He asked, “Why?”
I said, “Because each of them is special to me; I love them each the same!”
God said, “Now you’ve got it.”
WOW!! I understood. God loves me just because I’m his child, & I’m special just because I’m His child, in the same way that my children are special to me!! What a revelation!!!

Several weeks later, when I was finally home, I pulled out my Bible I read Psalm 18. God confirmed this revelation as I read verses 16-19 “He reached down from on high & took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” I thought about the phrase, ‘he rescued me because he delighted in me.’ God delighted in ME? Who am I that God would delight in me? I don’t begin to compare with the likes of the Psalmist, David, or with the likes of Moses, Abraham, Elijah, Job, Paul, etc. Are you talking to me, God? He was.

It was at this point that God reminded me of the conversation we had concerning my being special to Him. Oh, I’m such a slow learner. He delights in me because I’m His child. Thank you, God, for your love & patience! Do you know that God feels the same way about you?)

“On a deeper level, this ‘if love’ prevents the person from understanding his or her true unique self. If you are always spending energy determining the degree to which your expectations are being met & the degree to which you will return love, you’ll never be able to understand the true you. The ego is always seeking fulfillment. The true self is never revealed. It is a vicious circle that results in perpetual disappointment, deepening emptiness, & personal despair. All precursors of illness.”
“Are you saying that I love conditionally?” asked the man.
“Yes. I do, you do, we all do,” answered John. “At times in our life, we all love with ifs. The trouble is, it doesn’t stop there. That despair born of loneliness often leads to something even more insidious – Judgmentalism.

“This is the stage where people are constantly critical of people & circumstances that are different from their own views. The Cancer Conqueror points out that many people were brought up with a lot of shoulds, oughts, & have tos.

“It’s a miserable existence. . . The vicious circle – disappointment, emptiness, & despair – continues.”

(Please note: There are exceptions to every rule. He is not saying this is true of 100% of cancer patients. I’m sure you & I can both think of people who have, or who have had, cancer who are exceptions. In fact, you may be an exception. I hope you are.

We can all get caught in judgmentalism, from time to time; I know I can. It’s important that we do not allow it to dominate our thoughts. If we keep in mind what we’ve learned about psychoneuroimmunology (PNI), we don’t want to suffer physical consequences of continual negative thoughts, opinions, &/or attitudes.

Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For the same way you judge others, you will be judged, & with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”)

John smiled. “We’re going to talk about how conquering cancer requires us to live, laugh & love. But to do that, we need this perspective on judgmental & conditional love. The Cancer Conqueror once traced how crucial unconditional love really is. She believes that all disease has a lack of love at its roots. She explains how love that is judgmental & conditional leads to depression & thus allows physical vulnerability. Can you grasp her point? She even goes so far as to say that she feels all healing has at its roots the ability to give & receive unconditional love.”

("Laughter in and of itself cannot cure cancer nor prevent cancer, but laughter as part of the full range of positive emotions including hope, love, faith, strong will to live, determination and purpose, can be a significant and indispensable aspect of the total fight for recovery." -Harold H. Benjamin, PhD

“There have always been doctors who have emphasized the importance of a 'will to live' in fighting serious diseases. Most recently, this banner has been carried nobly by Dr. Bernie Siegel. He emphasizes the importance of hope, determination, optimism and a 'fighting spirit' among patients who are battling cancer.

“. . . Cancer patients with a fighting spirit were most likely to be long-term survivors, and have no relapses. Short-term survivors were more likely to show a 'stoic, stiff upper lip attitude,' and to continue their lives either as if nothing were different, or with a sense of helplessness or hopelessness.

“The question, of course, is how do you go about generating or sustaining hope, optimism, determination and a fighting spirit if these are not qualities you've shown throughout your life. LOVE AND YOUR OWN SPIRITUALITY ARE IMPORTANT AOURCES OF THIS HOPEFUL & OPTIMISTIC ATTITUDE [emphasis added]. ANOTHER SOURCE IS YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR [emphasis added]. It is no coincidence that so many cancer survivors credit their sense of humor for getting them through their ordeal. Humor helps overcome and work through the trials of each day, and when you find a way of laughing in the midst of your problems, you automatically shift toward a frame of mind that invites a hopeful outlook and a conviction that you can beat this disease.

“So make it your goal to learn to find something to laugh at every day, and to take yourself a little less seriously, as you continue to take your illness and your treatments very seriously.” Excerpt from Health, Healing and the Amuse System: Humor as Survival Training, by Dr. McGhee

“For people living with cancer, it may seem strange to find humor when facing such serious issues. Yet, laughter can be helpful in ways you might not have realized or imagined.

“Laughter can help you feel better about yourself and the world around you. Laughter can be a natural diversion. When you laugh, no other thought comes to mind. Laughing can also induce physical changes in the body. After laughing for only a few minutes, you may feel better for hours.

“When used in addition to conventional cancer treatments, laughter therapy may help in the overall healing process.

“According to some studies, laughter therapy may provide physical benefits, such as helping to:
• Boost the immune system and circulatory system
• Enhance oxygen intake
• Stimulate the heart and lungs
• Relax muscles throughout the body
• Trigger the release of endorphins (the body’s natural painkillers)
• Ease digestion/soothes stomach aches
• Relieve pain
• Balance blood pressure
• Improve mental functions (i.e., alertness, memory, creativity)
Laughter therapy may also help to:
• Improve overall attitude
• Reduce stress/tension
• Promote relaxation
• Improve sleep
• Enhance quality of life
• Strengthen social bonds and relationships
• Produce a general sense of well-being”
http://www.cancercenter.com/complementary-alternative-medicine/laughter-therapy.cfm )

"I don’t understand. What does this mean?" asked the man.
"Just think of live, laugh, & love. First we must live; we must appreciate the power of health’s intangibles, especially the beliefs & attitudes that are rooted in hope. This is a very real hope that we can live positively here & now, even with cancer.

"And laugh, to mobilize humor, to help maintain the perspective that life still holds great joy.

"And love. It means that our task becomes learning to give & receive unconditional love. It means to stop judging.
"Live. Laugh. Love. That is our new aim.
"The Cancer Conqueror puts this in clear perspective when she talks about 3 valid standards by which to judge. She feels there are moral standards, legal standards, & laws-of-nature standards. . .

“If someone’s behavior doesn’t break a moral, legal, or natural law, forget it! Don’t judge it! If we can release ourselves from judgmental behavior, we are then free to live, laugh, & love. When we make positive, joyful, unconditional love – living, laughing, loving – our aim, it forms a powerful basis for health & healing. . .

“Love is not merely emotional. It is physiological. In a real sense, love can always conquer cancer & often cures it too!”

(Cory Quirino, of the Inquirer.net, states, in his February 20, 2006 article, “While no one has directly proven that love cures illness, it has been well-documented that the opposite is true—people who are constantly depressed, angry, anxious, stressed and wanting are at high risk of contracting all kinds of diseases.” He continues by saying, “Folk wisdom says falling in love is the best and only way to prevent catching a cold in winter. This means that, long before medical research was done, love was already considered an immune booster. It is said that love provides homeostatic balance.” Living in an atmosphere of love, having a loving spirit & experiencing God’s love in our lives, undoubtedly, contributes to our quality of life.

I believe Anderson makes this statement based on the studies conducted for psychoneuroimmunology. As stated in chapter 4, "Research has indicated that an [inseparable] chemical link exists between our emotions, which includes all stress in our lives, BOTH GOOD & BAD, & the regulatory systems of the [hormonal] & immune systems through the central nervous system [emphasis added].” Also, realize that he is writing, at the time the original book was published, from the perspective of having conducted over 15,000 interviews with cancer survivors, who were given a terminal diagnosis – no chance of survival. After conducting these interviews, Anderson discovered 8 strategies survivors have in common. This strategy – Cancer Conquerors Live – is one of those strategies. The overriding principles of this strategy are learning to love unconditionally & to nurture joy in your life. Anderson has equated the application of this principle with the cure of these survivors' cancer, which SEEMS to be a reasonable conclusion, but it is a very short-sighted application of it.

The following approach is a safer& more realistic perspective:
David R. Hamilton, Ph.D. describes numerous, specific experiments & studies that demonstrate the link between reducing stress & the improvement of a host of indicators of health, including the functioning of the heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, immune system, & even the emotional health, of cancer, asthma, & rheumatoid arthritis patients. In all cases, the studies showed that it was the reduction in stress that most improved the patients’ physical & emotional health & reduced the necessity for medical visits. The reduction of stress was achieved through psychological therapy, emotional support, writing their deepest thoughts & feelings about a stressful experience or positive thoughts & feelings about their illness, small group therapy sessions, or teaching them relaxation techniques.

Hamilton sums up his discussion with these thoughts: “. . . not everyone who suppresses negative emotions will get cancer, or even become ill. These studies reflect a set of scientific experiments that homed in on a particular area, which is often the case in science. THERE ARE A LARGE NUMBER OF COMPETING FACTORS THAT CAN CAUSE CANCER & ACCELERATE THE COURSE OF ANY DISEASE [emphasis added].
“Also, even though there is an obvious link between emotion & the immune system, this does not mean that every time you are emotionally low your immune system will be weakened. Nor does it mean that every time you are happy your immune system will be strengthened. THERE ARE MANY FACTORS THAT CAN AFFECT THE IMMUNE SYSTEM, & EMOTION IS ONLY ONE OF THEM [emphasis added].
“Occasional anger, for example, is unlikely to cause any heart problems. Despite the evidence of the effects of anger on the heart, even regular anger may not be unhealthy, as it may provide a well-needed emotional release. Conversely, care, compassion, or appreciation may not make everyone healthy.
“But in general, due to the body-mind relationship, a healthy mind will have a positive influence on the health of the body. So whatever you can do in your life to improve your mental & emotional health – whether that is adopting a more positive attitude to life, [praying], laughing, choosing to appreciate life, choosing to be more caring & compassionate, or talking through any issues & pain with a friend, colleague, or therapist – there will most likely be benefits to your health.
“The choice is yours!”

Psalm 119:88a “Preserve my life according to your love.”
Psalm 143:11-12 “For your name’s sake, O Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble. In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.”

It is our loving God who works through our lives to conquer cancer & who has designed our bodies with intricate biological systems that work together to fight illness & disease; it has the ability to heal from injuries, surgery & illness. We need to supply it with water, the proper nutritional fuel, sufficient physical activity & adequate rest to optimize its efficiency in carrying out these tasks.)

John stopped as the man finished his notes. “It all relates to another facet of frog kissing, acceptance versus approval. It’s the difference between accepting people for who they are versus approving of them for what they do, their behavior. This applies not only to how you relate to others but especially to how you see yourself. . .

“The key is to learn to truly accept your worth as a person even though you may not approve of your behavior. . .
“Our task is to accept others not approve of others.
“Accepting & not approving removes me from having to be the judge, doesn’t it?” asked the man.

“That’s it,” John agreed enthusiastically. “That’s precisely it. It’s so fundamental to well-being. You see, when we judge, we don’t really see the other person, or ourselves, as whole. Most of us were brought up in an environment where the emphasis was on supposedly constructive criticism. This is usually a disguise for faultfinding. When we judge, we find fault & almost invariably label that person, or ourselves, as unworthy. . .

“But if we can simply separate people from their behavior, we then find much to lovingly accept & celebrate. We go from being faultfinders to becoming lovefinders! Only then can we hear that strong inner voice saying, ‘I love you & accept you just as you are.’

“I changed my entire experience of life when I realized that other people do not have to change for me to love them. Instead, I have to change for me to love them! Isn’t that a revolutionary thought?”

John jumped to his feet & waved his arms. “Our first job is to go from faultfinder to lovefinder – of ourselves & of others. We can make that choice. It depends on us! It’s within our control. Isn’t that wonderful? Instead of judging we can live, laugh, & love. Isn’t that a happy thought?”

(John 15:12 “My command is this: love each other as I have loved you.”
Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
1 Peter 3:8 “. . . live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.”
Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
We suck the joy out of our lives when we play the role of faultfinder, but we increase our joy & share more love as we consciously make an effort to look for the good in others.)

The man smiled. You felt a sense of joy seeing John wave his arms exuberantly & hearing him talk about love in his booming voice. And the man had to admit, there was hope in this frog-kissing message.

“There’s happiness in this outlook, isn’t there?” asked the man. “Frog kissing leads to joy, doesn’t it?”

“You’re terrific!” said John. “I can see you’re going to conquer cancer because you’re so open to these principles. You’ve already grasped the next step in live – joy! With love there comes happiness. And with happiness, joy is possible.

“You know, inside each of us is a child – the good non-manipulative, fun-loving, filled-with-joy little person who needs to be nourished. The Cancer Conqueror believes that most cancer patients have failed for years to appropriately nurture this inner child. And by not honoring the child’s real needs, they may be contributing to their illness or inhibiting their recovery.”

(It’s so easy to get caught up in taking care of one’s responsibilities that we don’t take the time to play – nurture our inner child. In fact we can feel as if play is acting immature or irresponsible. However, it is actually a means of relieving stress & experiencing joy. It is beneficial to pursue opportunities that take us away from the everyday cares of life. We laugh more & feel more relaxed, even if we are doing something quite strenuous.

My grandkids are such a blessing! They give me permission & reasons to play. It’s enjoyable to color a picture, to play with play-doh, build with building blocks or Lego blocks, read a silly children’s book, play peek-a-boo, interact with them as they pretend, invent games with the toys at hand, spending time with them in the pool, take pictures of them, sing toddler & Sunday school songs, especially ones that have hand motions that go with them, etc.

I also love flower gardening. It’s often hard work, but the results are well worth it! I love seeing the yard sprinkled with color, in every direction! The time spent outdoors becomes a time to fellowship with God. I think about all the beauty God has created & praise him. I pray for others & pray over matters of concern. Digging in the dirt is, for me, joyful.

We travel as often as possible. This is another way for us to “play,” as a couple. We have the opportunity to get away from the distractions of everyday life & relax & do fun activities we wouldn’t do if we were at home.

Of course, I have been bitten by the shutterbug, so I LOVE to take pictures. I can get caught up in taking pictures of my grandkids, my flowers, nature, & vacations sites. It brings me great joy to take the pictures & to find gems among them to then hang on our walls. In fact, my walls are my gallery. After taking 3 photography classes [one was Fine Arts photography – taking photos as art], I have accumulated quite a collection of photos. They bring me joy. I feel challenged to capture additional art photos. It’s a positive, playful challenge, though.

I have several other things I would like to do, such as hang gliding & parasailing, which I have not had the opportunity yet to do. When the opportunity arises, I WILL seize the moment!)

John explained that he used to deny the needs of his inner child because he felt he had matured & didn’t need to laugh & play. He now knew he was wrong, & his needs to honor his inner child were very strong.

John stated, “To me, joy is giving life a big hug, embracing all the beauty & wonder & goodness there is in this world. Joy is not how much you possess but how much you enjoy. . .

“The second part of finding joy, of letting the inner child come out, is action. Simply put, we need to allow time for play.”
“Play?” questioned the man.
“Yes, play.” John smiled. “That kid inside needs time to play every day.”
John found it helpful to use the nickname Buddy for his inner child, since this was his nickname as a youngster, & he liked it.

“A helpful perspective for me was when the Cancer Conqueror suggested that we think of the part of us that got cancer as this inner child. Then an important part of our task becomes taking care of that child, nurturing the child back to health, helping the child conquer cancer. So when I ask Buddy what he needs to stay well, I’m trying to get in touch with myself attitudinally, emotionally, & behaviorally on a very foundational level. Buddy invariably wants me to honor his needs to experience laughter, play & joy. I listen. I now honor those needs.” John smiled again.

“When you talk to your inner child,” said John, “you might want to do what the Cancer Conquer suggests. She had me write down 50 different things I can do, actual activities I feel will bring me fun & produce joy in my life. Just try that exercise. It was difficult for me to find 50 items at first. I suppose my child was so undernourished that he had forgotten how to play. But now my list has more than 150 activities -- & it’s still increasing.”

“That’s wonderful,” said the man. “But I think I’m going to have trouble coming up with even 10 ways to play.”

“You’ll learn,” said John. “I found that it was important for me just to block out time to play. In the beginning there were some days that I didn’t do a thing. But just scheduling the time was most helpful. And soon I began to fill that time with enjoyable activities. . .

“Play is much more than an activity; it is an attitude that generates energy for healing. And notice you’re never too tired to play. If we think we are tired, perhaps it’s the strongest signal that we need play now. Honor your inner child’s fundamental needs.”

“Thanks for giving me permission to play,” said the man. He chuckled. “You know, I already feel better. Just the idea of frog kissing, maybe that’s even better! I’m going to become a positive, passionate, playful frog kisser! How about that?”

“As healthy & healing as being a playful frog kisser might be, there’s something even better.”
“What is that?” asked the man.

“Well, all the love in our hearts, all the joy in the world, resolving all our problems, even changing all our beliefs, is empty without one essential ingredient. I once heard a person describe it this way. All our efforts are like a long string of zeros. They mean nothing without a digit in front of them. That digit is peace of mind.”
The man was quiet.

“You see, peace is the ultimate destination of the conquering cancer journey. The goal is to create peace of mind, not just to cure cancer. Peace is perhaps the finest way to allow the body’s powerful healing mechanisms to function.”

(Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.” The only way to know true & lasting peace is through God.

Bernie Siegel, MD, in the article, Waging War Against Cancer Versus Healing Your Life, states the following:
“When we focus on waging a war or fighting a battle versus healing our lives and bodies we are interfering with the healing process . . .

“. . . When our minds and bodies are involved in a battle and a war our response is one of protection. That means we are prepared to run for our lives as our blood is diverted to parts of our brain and bodies which help us to escape. Stress hormone levels are elevated and immune function is suppressed during this time.

“When we are involved in healing and see life as a labor pain of self birthing then the side effects are diminished and our body is reprogrammed to grow and heal as the stress level is reduced and immune function enhanced. What impressed me years ago and has kept me involved in mind body work is learning from the people who don’t die when they are supposed to.

“Women live longer than men with the same cancers and so do married men compared to single men. The reason is not female hormones and sleeping with them but their relationships and connections . . .

“Another patient of mine was a landscaper who developed stomach cancer when he retired. He delayed surgery, because it was spring time, to go home and make the world beautiful, ‘So if I die I’ll leave a beautiful world.’ When I told him post-operatively that I couldn’t remove all the cancer and he needed chemotherapy and perhaps radiation he said, ‘You forgot something. It’s still spring time; I am going home to make the world beautiful. So if I die I’ll leave a beautiful world.’ John died at age ninety-four with no sign of cancer.

“These were people who were living each day and not involved in avoiding dying. They accepted their mortality and lived meaningful lives. How many of us truly do what feels good for us to do and are capable of saying no to things that we do not want to do?

“When you heal your life and find peace of mind your body gets the message too. Everything I am saying is scientific. We are capable of genetic changes and spontaneous reversals just as bacteria, viruses and plants do to resist antibiotics, vaccines and environmental changes. Our genes become active in response to the internal environment. Most women with a gene for breast cancer do not develop it. Twin sisters with the gene for breast cancer do not both develop the disease. The sister more likely to do so is the one who internalizes her anger and spends her life pleasing her parents and everyone else.

“I am not saying this to place blame but to awaken you to the choices you have in your life. We are changed internally by the way we act. If I put you in a play, as an actor, I can enhance your health in a comedy and damage it in a tragedy. I know two patients who tired of their therapy, went home with extensive cancer and ‘Left their troubles to God.’ And their cancers disappeared. No wars just peace.

“So go and find what is right for you as treatment for your disease. If you are afraid of dying then do everything everyone suggests. If it is doing what is right for you and what brings you peace then go with it and know you will have fewer side effects when you decide which labor pains are worthwhile and of your choosing. I meet people who hate vegetables and would prefer chemotherapy as treatment so they can enjoy their meals at home with the family. The choice of the road to healing is yours.

“Remember we all die some day and if you do things to not die you will be very bitter when you get to Heaven. The way to beat cancer is related to how you live your life and the experience and what you teach others. None of us will live forever. Death is neither a failure nor losing the battle, though again, the way most doctors talk you would think it is.” http://www.cancercenter.com/ )

“Okay,” said the man, “I like what you’re saying, but really what is personal peace? And how do I go about achieving it?”

“Good questions,” said John. “I like the definition the Cancer Conqueror teaches: ‘Personal peace is transcending oneself in order to nurture inner harmony.’ Let’s give this definition a closer look.

“First, personal peace is transcending. This idea is that personal peace requires intent & choice & action. It is not some chance occurrence. And personal peace transcends self – meaning that the decision is consciously made to set aside self-limitations of fear, anger, & guilt & to rest upon the unshakable foundation of spiritual tranquility . . . Resting on that foundation, there is our goal.

“You see, it isn’t so much the physical aspects as it is the inner aspects, the emotional & spiritual components, that make for personal peace. This is especially true for the cancer patient. When we realize that peace of mind is independent from our physical condition, true healing has begun.”

“How do I achieve this peace? How do I work to make this a way of life?”

John began, “You know, of all the changes the Cancer Conqueror encouraged me to make, the daily pursuit of personal peace has had the single most dramatic effect on my outer & inner life. If there was one change I could point to that most altered my daily schedule, one with the greatest potential for healing, it would be this pursuit – seeking the profound personal peace that is available to all of us. I do practice quite time, a daily dose of tranquility, that gets me in touch with the deeper levels of personal peace that are always waiting there for me to access.”

John describes his 2, 15-minute daily sessions of quiet time. They include relaxation techniques, visualization, & meditation.

(While I am a proponent of relaxation techniques & visualization, I am cautious in terms of using the term meditation. As I read John’s description of meditation, I see it as self/inward-focused & void of any spiritual component. For me, meditation includes meditating on Scripture, prayer, & listening for God’s direction.

I, also, look to Scripture to find personal, inner peace. The classic portion of Scripture that gives us the formula for finding God’s peace that transcends understanding is Philippians 4:4-8 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts & your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” If you remember, joy, which gives rise to rejoicing, is not the same as happiness, which is dependent upon our circumstances. Joy comes from our sense of security & well-being that we have in our relationship with Jesus Christ. There is always reason to rejoice. God is always in control. He never leaves us or forsakes us. His love never fails us. He is always ready & available to help us & to give us strength to meet each challenge in our lives. The list could go on & on. . .

The simple command, do not be anxious about anything, seems too simplistic for our human minds to grasp. The big question is, HOW? It’s the second half of the sentence that tells us how. The prayer & petition part is obvious; however, the thanksgiving part is more essential than we might imagine. Through thanksgiving & praise we open our minds to God’s greatness, acknowledge his power, and begin to accept that what we are asking is in the realm of possibilities with God. Applying the principles of these verses is a process, which requires practice & spiritual growth, to learn to apply them consistently to the circumstances & challenges of our lives so that we experience the peace that is promised. I wholeheartedly endorse a daily quiet time, to develop a living, personal relationship with God, as our source of eternal life, strength, hope, & peace.)

John said, “I am suggesting you have significant control over your immune system, your natural defense against cancer.”
“Is this more of the psychoneuroimmunology [PNI] I’ve previously studied?” asked the man.

(I was excited to learn about PNI. It removes the objection over deception with the placebo effect, which I discussed in the last chapter. The science of PNI expands the placebo effect to include a much broader approach to the mind-body-spirit connections, & it offers scientific evidence of the biological events that occur in our bodies that explain how & why these connections contribute to illness & disease, as well as contribute to our recovery from them.)

“It is,” said John. “And the primary technique for consciously stimulating our immune system is using creative imagination . . . One researcher called it healing with brain chemistry. Our immune defenses tend to weaken under stress. Quiet time with relaxation exercises & creative imagination may be one of the best ways to better manage the biochemical results of stress. We thus keep our resistance high.”

“Do I hear you saying that in addition to my emotions influencing my immune system, I can also consciously enhance the functioning of my immune system?”

John spoke firmly & with deep conviction. “I am saying that creatively & consciously imagining our immune systems functioning effectively may indeed enhance it. I am also recognizing that the immune system may be positively triggered as the roadblocks of fear, anger, & guilt are replaced with love, joy, & peace. And I am suggesting that as we imagine malignant cells eliminated, & as we imagine ourselves as healthy, whole, & feeling well, our entire being – body, mind, & spirit – will move in the direction of health. That is something we cherish & for which we can strive!”

The man was skeptical; so, John did an experiment, with more detail than is given here. He asked the man to close his eyes. He then told him to close his eyes & imagine that he goes to the refrigerator in his kitchen & finds a bright, firm lemon. His fingers run over the texture of its skin to feel the shape. Sees the color. He’s to lift it to his nose & smell its sharp, pungent odor. Then he’s to walk to the counter & use a paring knife to cut it in half, & to then cut one half in half. He’s to smell the aroma as the juice runs over his fingers. He’s to then bring one of the wedges to his nose to deeply inhale its fragrance. Then he’s to put the lemon wedge between his teeth & bite down hard. He’s to taste the strangely tart juices as they roll over his tongue & throughout his mouth.

“Okay, okay!” The man laughed. “You’ve made your point. I can’t believe the amount of saliva that produces!”

“The fact is,” said John, “the body cannot tell the difference between what is actually taking place & what you are imagining is taking place. This principle is at the heart of what I was saying about the vital importance of imagining our immune systems functioning effectively. Does this example do anything to shift your thinking about this being some sort of deception?”
******************************************************************************
At the end of the narrative is an instructional section titled:
Live: Nurturing a Sense of Joy

In the midst of this crisis, we can learn what is important, & we can act on what will be the redemptive legacy of this unwanted experience. We can learn to live.

Joy, the sense of well-being evoked by an awareness that life is truly a special gift, is central to our understanding. Joy is delight in life no matter what the circumstances.

Start making your list of 50 different things you can do, actual activities you feel will bring fun & produce joy in your life. Come on. Pull out a sheet of paper & start writing.

You know you want to play. Where’s your inner child? Do any of the activities on your list reflect the desires of your inner child?

This journey really got the wheels of my mind turning. The first time I read it, I thought of some activities for my list. The second time I read it, to summarize it for my blog site, I thought of some more. When I decided to redo the summaries, I added additional editorial notes to this chapter that I am VERY excited to share with you!

I wish there was someone, in or near our local area, trained in humor therapy. A 2-day workshop is available, to become a Certified Laughter Leader through World Laughter Tour, Inc. Their web site provides information about the organization, clubs, & their training. http://www.worldlaughtertour.com/ It sure does sound like a FUN idea to have a laughter leader as a guest speaker at a cancer support group meeting.

There are aspects of the man’s journey, in this chapter, that touch on issues I have dealt with personally & have witnessed in talking & corresponding with other cancer patients that I know are very critical issues. I pray that my illustrative choices, from Scripture, my personal stories, & other resources, will inspire readers to prayerfully reconsider their perspectives.

Since my auto accident, in 1999, my brain works in a more childlike fashion, & my faith is also much more childlike. Prior to the accident, I thought my faith was simple, but I could over-think it & make it much too complicated! Now, I just take God at his word. I want depth in my relationship & depth in my study of Scripture & biblical principles, but I don’t over-analyze them. If I ask God a question, I expect him to answer, as a child would. His answers come in a variety of ways. God knows me better than I know myself, & he knows exactly how to answer me in a way that I will recognize him. “He who belongs to God hears what God says.” John 8:47 Praise God!! I wouldn’t want to make this journey without God. Without Him I could not be a Cancer Conqueror.

As much as we all seek mountain top experiences, I’ve learned that all the fertilizer is in the valleys of life. It’s in those valleys that God has helped me to cultivate the soil so that I’ve grown as a human being & spiritually. I can now understand James 1:2-4. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature & complete, not lacking anything.” God is still working on me; I’m a work in progress.

Ch 6 - Cancer Conquerors Transcend

2010-08-26T20:33:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 6 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits.
Most of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible.
******************************************************************************
This week the man returns to journey with the Cancer Conqueror. He is not in a good mood, after he just returned from a visit to his oncologist. He is doing great physically, but the waiting room experience is what has him depressed. He’d talked to a woman who just experienced a recurrence. “It’s a frightening prospect to work at getting well only to have the cancer return.”

“Wait! Slow down!” said the Cancer Conqueror, “You’re Awfulizing; you’re letting your thoughts assume the worst possible outcomes.

“I try to take a negative & turn it into something positive. And when I do, invariably I feel better. I’ve come to understand the truth that you cannot help another person without helping yourself.”

(In God’s economy, nothing is wasted! Romans 8:28 tells us, “And we know that in ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose [emphasis added].” I used to get annoyed when my grandmother repeatedly quoted this verse to me when things didn’t go my way, but I have learned, in retrospect, that God is able to bring good out of even the worst experiences in my life.

Matthew 5:7 states, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Likewise, James 3:18 says, “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 tells us, “Praise be to God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion & the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” These are a few examples of God’s promises regarding our service to others.

If you are like me, you’ve found that the most rewarding service is not that which is done to earn a paycheck, compliments, recognition, prestige, awards, etc. It’s service characterized by a positive connection between myself & the other person(s) involved. The outcome of the interaction is mutually meaningful & valuable. I felt validated, satisfied, & fulfilled, as a result of the exchange.

Stephen Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, states the following about service:
“There is intrinsic security that comes from service, from helping other people in a meaningful way. One important source is your work, when you see yourself in a contributive & creative mode, really making a difference. Another source is anonymous service – no one knows it & no one necessarily ever will. And that’s not the concern; the concern is blessing the lives of other people. Influence, not recognition, becomes the motive.

“. . . The late Dr. Hans Selye, in his monumental research on stress, basically says that a long, healthy, & happy life is the result of making contributions, of having meaningful projects that are personally exciting & contribute to & bless the lives of others. His ethic was ‘earn thy neighbor’s love.’

“In the words of George Bernard Shaw,
“This is the true joy in life – that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments & grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community & as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which torch I’ve got to hold up for the moment & I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”)

“Okay,” said the man. “I understand what you’re suggesting. But the fact is, I talked to a woman who was cancer-free for 7 years. Now it’s back! The idea of a recurrence always haunting me is frightening.”

The Cancer Conqueror was firm. “The fact is, the possibility of recurrence will always be with you. The course of the disease is uncertain. Even so, there is a reason for hope. There is a pervasive belief that is behind almost all worries of recurrence. The belief goes something like, ‘Yes, I may battle the cancer with some success, but in the end the biological process will win & it will eventually get me.’ Have you heard that?”
“Sure, just today I heard that from the woman who had the recurrence.”
“That belief is a major untruth. It is reasonably common for people to go into remission, have a recurrence, & eventually enjoy recovery. Once again, the importance of our beliefs comes into play. We must first understand that recurrence does not mean imminent death.

“Yet, we need to treat recurrence as a crisis. For some people, this is obvious. Their pain is significant, or perhaps they can actually feel or see tumor growth. And it is common for fear to be more intense with recurrence. People may also feel out of control & lose faith in their medical team, their treatment, as well as the entire program they have been implementing. Feelings like ‘I’ve failed’ & ‘I give up’ are common. That’s probably what you saw this morning with that woman.”
“That was precisely it,” said the man. “And it scares me.”
The Cancer Conqueror related her experience with recurrence. She stated, “It was frightening. But I did some things that made it a turning point. Consider the same strategy for yourself. First, I treated myself very gently. I had been back at work, but now I took more time off. I scheduled a vacation at one of our favorite places. And I spent time alone, time to reflect.

“I talked with others, people who successfully overcame the illness. It was helpful to understand that many of them also went through recurrence. Almost all used recurrence as a time to reevaluate. So I followed their advice. I went back to the medical team & had the doctors review the recent evaluations in detail & answer my questions. This helped.

“Then I reviewed my beliefs about illness & recovery, examined the major emotional conflicts still present in my life, & looked more closely at what I could do to bring more joy & well-being into my life. Finally, I asked an important question of myself. Did I want to work toward health once again, or did I want to accept death & spend my energy preparing for it? You can see which I chose – I was willing once again to work toward recovery.”

(Working toward recovery does not guarantee that one will become cancer-free or be a survivor, although this is certainly the hope! It’s a matter of improving my quality of life – mentally, spiritually, & physically. What can I do to influence my mental, spiritual & physical health in a positive manner? I have to find an inner resolve that causes me to never give up – to fight for every moment of life & all the fullness of life, because God is on my side. Romans 8:31 says, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” In verse 37 it says, “In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Those are strong words!)

“But what if you had died? There weren’t any guarantees that you would recover,” said the man.

“Not one,” said the Cancer Conqueror. “But guarantees aren’t the issue. I said that I would work toward recovery that I would strive for health. I could only work toward them. I had to realize that even though I don’t control my destiny, I do influence it. And I chose to influence it toward health.”

The man finished his notes & looked up. “I need something with a lot more certainty. I am expecting this program to bring me health.”

“It can,” said the Cancer Conqueror. “But are you also saying that you’ll reject it if it doesn’t meet all your expectations? If so, I can’t help you. I can’t give you any guarantee. I can only share that for me it was – and still is – a hill-and-valley experience. I refuse to view the valley of recurrence as failure. Instead, I chose to see recurrence as a message. I needed once again to understand the message & decide what my response would be.

“For me the message of recurrence was clearly that I was not taking care of myself as I needed to. Up to that time, I was not really following the diet I knew was best for me. I was exercising occasionally. I wasn’t taking time to play. I only sporadically worked with my creative imagination. And I only partially resolved some of the emotional turmoil that still raged in my life. When I honestly looked at myself, I realized that I had, in many ways, returned to the lifestyle that contributed to my initial illness. I came to understand that recurrence was my body’s way of telling me to choose to change again.”

Next they had a discussion about the man’s fear of death. The Cancer Conqueror remembered having a similar discussion with a pastor who stated, “I assume you believe you will die. I mean, the statistics are overwhelming! A thousand out of a thousand people die! There don’t seem to be many exceptions!”

“Most people are anxious about death’s when & how. There is sadness & possibly anger over the prospect of a shortened life – the when. Perhaps there are dreams still to pursue & people still to love. So a shortened life span seems unfair.

“Yet in a very real sense, people live on in the memories of others. If we want to guarantee a loving memory, if we want to guarantee that we accomplished something significant with our lives, then we need to love, & live now! That’s the secret to overcoming the fear of death’s when –it’s to love now, today, this hour, while we have the opportunity. The key point of understanding is to realize that our life’s value is measured not by its duration but by its donations – of love.”

The man nodded. “Yes. That’s very helpful,” he said. “And profound.”
“What about life after death?” asked the man. “Do you think there is more to come after this life?”

Without hesitation the Cancer Conqueror answered, “To me the evidence is overwhelming. I believe that you & I are much more than physical bodies. I certainly do not pretend to know everything about this issue, yet I see so much evidence that death is the exit from this life & the entrance to the next plane of existence. To me, death doesn’t have to be approached with fear. I think we can approach it with a healthy curiosity about what will be next. It can be viewed as a new adventure. Can you grasp the possibility?”

(In Luke 16:19-31, Jesus tells the story of a rich man & a beggar named Lazarus; not the Lazarus we remember that he raised from the dead. Of course the rich man lived in luxury; Lazarus laid at the city gate; he was covered with sores, even dogs came & licked his sores. He longed to eat what fell from the rich man’s table.

Both men died. The angels carried the beggar to Abraham’s side, which we can assume is heaven. The rich man was buried & found himself in hell; he looked up & saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus at his side. Verse 24 says, “So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me & send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water & cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ Verses 25-31 describes the remainder of their exchange. But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here & you are in agony. And besides all this, between us & you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father’s house, for I have 5 brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses & the Prophets; [today, we call this the Old Testament] let them listen to them.’ ‘No, father Abraham,’ he said, ‘but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.’ “He said to him, ‘If they do not listen to Moses & the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.’”

This passage illustrates that there is life beyond this earthly life. In fact, it has 2 dimensions – heaven & hell. Where we spend eternity is a matter of choice -- More about this later.)

. . . “Some people would not be comfortable with the word religious or mystical. I prefer to use the term spiritual when we discuss this. And yes,” said the Cancer Conqueror, “in my experience, cancering becomes very much a spiritual journey.”
“Then please help me understand this part,” said the man.
“As you begin to choose the spiritual path, you’ll also begin to recognize the breadth & depth of that choice. It pervades your entire life experience.”

(To be clear, there is but one spiritual path. In John 14:6 “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way & the truth & the life. No one comes to the Father EXCEPT THROUGH ME [emphasis added].”

John 10:7, 9 “Therefore Jesus said again, ’I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in & go out, & find pasture.’”

Matthew 7:13-14 says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate & broad is the road that leads to destruction, & many enter through it. But small is the gate & narrow the road that leads to life, & only a few find it.”

1 John 5:20 tells us, “We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true - even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.”)

“I can best explain this by starting once again with beliefs. This time beliefs are not about illness. They are about life. There are certain core convictions & foundational beliefs that profoundly affect our life experience in virtually every aspect. They do much to determine the quality of life on all levels. . .”

(Ephesians 3:16-19 “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted & established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide & long & high & deep is the love of Christ, & to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”)

“Okay,” said the man, “what are they?”
“. . . In short, the first core belief asks the question, Is there a God?
“I encourage you to choose a healthy conviction here. I encourage you to believe there is a God who knows us & loves us, & God loves us even though God knows us!”
“That’s a healthy choice?” asked the man.
“Very healthy,” said the Cancer Conqueror.
The man is not very comfortable with anything religious & doesn’t know that much about God.

“You do know that there is something outside yourself, don’t you?” asked the Cancer Conqueror. “After all, you didn’t make this world. And I didn’t create the universe. Certainly there must be some kind of power outside you & me. Would you agree a greater intelligence is behind our existence?”

“Well, from that standpoint, there must be something,” said the man. “But does that mean ‘God?’”

“. . . For the moment just accept that there is ‘something’ that is a higher power. We call the power God. Let’s look again at the core belief. There is a God who knows us & loves us, & God loves us even though God knows us. First, there is a primary conclusion, an affirmation, a conviction, that acknowledges a power behind our existence. There is a God of the world.”

(Psalm 102:25 “In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands.”)

The Cancer Conqueror continued, “The second part of our core belief states that there is a God ‘who knows us.’ The implications of this statement are significant. Not only are we saying that there is a God but we are also affirming that this God is aware of you & me as individuals. You are known to God personally, by name, by thought, by spirit, by all ways that God can identify & recognize us. This is no abstract power – this is a personal, one-on-one relationship with the central creative force behind everything that exists.”

(Psalm 139:13-14a “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully & wonderfully made.”)

The man was thoughtful. Even though he didn’t speak, the Cancer Conqueror could sense his attentiveness.

“Now take our core belief another step. The belief goes on to say, ‘and God loves us.’ Imagine that. The very power that created everything in existence knows & loves us! Wow!”

The man smiled at the Cancer Conqueror with enthusiasm. . .

The Cancer Conqueror went on. “Let’s complete our look at the core belief. It ends by stating, ‘and God loves us even though God knows us.’ This means that even when we don’t perform to our potential, we are still loved. In the eyes of the creator of all, we are not what we do or don’t do. We receive God’s love simply because we are God’s creation. God chooses to love us as we are!”

(Romans 3:23 says, “for all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 6:23 tells us, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Yet, Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins.” We can be released from the guilt & penalty of sin by confessing & repenting of it – agreeing with God that we need His Grace to forsake our sins. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful & just & will forgive our sins & purify us from all unrighteousness.” This is a free gift of God’s grace, when we place our faith in Jesus Christ. He paid the penalty for our sins; we just need to ASK, for this free gift to be ours. That’s the ultimate gift of love!)

The man said, “But I don’t see how this influences my cancer journey.”

“All this acknowledges the fact that God is for us! God wants our total wellness. Our task is one of alignment, to become attuned with the messages cancer is sending us, to make the required changes, & to accept God’s love & direction for our lives.”

(Matthew 5:45b “He causes his sun to rise on the evil & the good, & sends rain on the righteous & the unrighteous.” Romans 2:11 says, “For God does not show favoritism.”)

The man snapped, “How can that be? If God is for us, why did God give us cancer?”

The Cancer Conqueror paused & smiled that serene smile. She understood how critical her next words would be. “I don’t believe God did give us cancer,” she said. “My belief is that this illness is not God’s will but is actually a deviation from God’s will. In fact, I now believe that those things bring sorrow, distress, calamity, & even suffering are ultimately present in the world not as God’s will but as a result of our misunderstanding of God’s will.”

(Ezekiel 18:32 states, “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign Lord. . .” Physical death was a penalty for sin, in the Garden of Eden. Genesis 3:19c “for dust you are & to dust you will return.” Pain in childbearing was increased, & the ground was cursed with thorns & thistles. Adam & Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden, because of sin. This was not God’s original plan. It happened because man misunderstood God’s will. Thousands of years later, we still have the same problem. These things are a result of the fall of man, but God is a loving God who sees our sorrow & cares deeply for each of us. Psalm 89:14 says, “Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you.” There is such an amazing balance found in God!

There are numerous instances of Jesus healing individuals & even crowds of people with all kinds of sickness & diseases. He also gave his disciples power to heal. If we have Jesus Christ in our lives, Paul offers a different perspective on our suffering, sorrow, distress, & calamities, which are unavoidable, if we are human. Romans 5:2b-5 “And we rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; & character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” Don’t misunderstand what is meant by the word rejoice. It DOESN’T mean to be happy about your suffering! I will remind you again that the word happy comes from the word “happenstance,” meaning our feelings depend on what happens to us. But rejoicing is expressing joy. Joy is a sense of well-being, a sense of security, a sense of peace, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO US. Joy is the feeling we want to achieve. Joy is FEELING SECURE & CONTENT in every situation, in every challenge & in every way, KNOWING THAT GOD IS TAKING CARE OF US, even in the most difficult of days. Many verses give us reassurance that God’s love is secure. Jeremiah 31:3b says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” In Hebrews 13:5b “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” The apostle Paul had surely learned the lessons he spoke of in his letter to the Romans, when we read what he wrote in Philippians 4:11b-13; “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, & I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any & every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”)

“Well, maybe,” said the man, “but it seems to me that God at least allowed the cancer.”

“Perhaps,” said the Cancer Conqueror. “But even that is not the perspective you’ll need to conquer cancer. The key is to understand the message. Grasp this. Cancer is really an opportunity, perhaps even God’s direction, for us to change. I often think of cancer as a gift, a valuable opportunity to reshape life. And when I began to understand the depth of this truth, my whole thinking about God & life & cancer changed.”

The Cancer Conqueror talked about the disappointment with God & the questioning many patients feel & the fact that it is a healthy sign, if they are positive doubts. The Cancer Conquer helped the man put these in perspective. “I suggest you don’t interpret cancer as a sign that God has abandoned you. Believe this. God does care for us, God will help us, now & in whatever lies in our future. What is required is a patient response that puts us back in touch with the message of cancer.”

(Romans 8:31b “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Hebrews 13:5c “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”)

The second core belief has to do with the nature of our life experiences. “Life is a loving teacher.

“If God loves us," continued the Cancer Conqueror, "God will want the best for us. God will lovingly guide & direct our paths. Thus, through our life experiences – both pleasant & unpleasant – lessons are going to be taught."

“See," said the man, "this is the point, I have trouble believing that a God who is lovingly trying to teach us would be so cruel as to cause or even allow cancer. That’s simply not loving.”

(In John 11 the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead is related. In verse 4 his sisters, Mary & Martha, meet Jesus to tell him their brother is sick & may be dying. They ask him to come to see Lazarus. Jesus tells the sisters, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Well, we know that Jesus delayed in arriving at their home & Lazarus did die before He arrived. However, Jesus raised him from the dead, which accomplished what He promised, in verse 4. God’s ways are not our ways.

John 9:1-3 relates this story of Jesus: “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’” A few verses later, we read that Jesus heals the man so that he is able to see, for the first time in his life!

These 2 examples have the desired outcomes. What about cases that don’t result in the desired outcome? 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells us, “But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.” God’s grace will always be sufficient for the challenges we face in life. I’ve found this to always be true in my own life, when I put my trust in God. It gives me reason to boast about God’s grace & His power, because I know I’m unable to handle the challenge on my own!)

“Now think," continued the Cancer Conqueror firmly, "of the consistency with the earlier belief that cancer is a process & a message to change. Some lessons that God lovingly gives, or even allows, are pleasant. Other lessons are anything but pleasant. Yet all teach, guide, & direct our lives. Perhaps there are times when we get so off the spiritual track that the only way God can gain our attention is through an event that is nearly catastrophic."

“This sounds like the vindictive, judge-type God that I was taught about as a child," said the man.

“Not so," countered the Cancer Conqueror. "God is not some unreasonable & impulsive sovereign. This is a loving God who has created a universe that runs by natural laws. This loving God doesn’t give out punishment on a whim.”

(We are not promised a “charmed” life when we choose to follow Jesus Christ. Instead, we are given the promise of Romans 8:28, as cited earlier. We are also promised: “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death not life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39.

Many people cite the 23rd Psalm as a favorite passage of Scripture. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod & your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness & love will follow me all the days of my life, & I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” I certainly understand why people appreciate this passage, especially the beginning & the end, but have you considered what is sandwiched in the middle? Why does your soul need to be restored? What’s this about walking through the valley of the shadow of death? Doesn’t that sound like a cancer diagnosis, another life-threatening condition or accident? What about fearing evil? And what about having enemies? Did you plan on all of these when verse 6 says, “Surely GOODNESS & LOVE will follow me ALL the days of my life”? I think we have to go back to the beginning of the Psalm & to Romans 8:28 for the answer.)

“But God is omnipotent," said the man. "God can do anything God wants to do."
“Certainly," said the Cancer Conqueror, "but also recognize that God has put in place the natural laws that run the world. And God seldom breaks those laws. They are the natural order of this world. It’s healthy to believe that even cancer is a message for us to become more aligned with spiritual laws. That is what all of life is trying to teach us – to become more aligned with God’s will.”

(Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, & he will make your paths straight.”
Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you & teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you & watch over you.”)

“That’s hard for me to accept," the man said.
“Think of it this way then," said the Cancer Conqueror. "Illness & health send us messages, both negative & positive. Both messages tell us how we are doing. Health, happiness, peace, joy, & love are all intended as messages that we are doing well. Illness, & pain – both physical & psychological – depression, fear, & despair are all negative messages that are intended to bring us back on course. All are loving teachers."

The Cancer Conqueror continued, "Simply stated, if you believe, either consciously or subconsciously, that God created people as inherently evil, you will consider yourself unworthy. And unworthiness certainly is not the perspective of wellness."
“So then," said the man, "what is that wellness perspective?"
“I encourage you to hold firmly to the conviction that people, at the very core of their being, have unlimited potential for kindness, goodness, & gentleness – particularly as they connect with God’s awesome presence. I also encourage you to believe in people’s ability to love. Perhaps the message behind cancer is that God can change people! Perhaps the real message of cancer is threefold: Love God, love others, love ourselves!"

“But there is so much evil out in the world. How can you say that people have the capacity for unlimited kindness, goodness, gentleness, & love? I think this is very much at odds with actual experience," said the man.

The Cancer Conqueror smiled. "Remember the central lesson of live – unconditional love?"

“Yes, I do," the man answered. "It was a huge leap in personal growth for me. But how does it apply here?"
“Let’s review," said the Cancer Conqueror. "First we looked within to realize that we do not have some terrible central flaw in our being that makes us hopeless. Next we looked around & realized that others were just the same, & that we could learn to accept them as fellow human beings, even though we may not approve of their behavior. And finally we focused on our role – to be loving & forgiving without expecting anything in return."
“Yes, I know," said the man. "That liberated me. But I still don’t see your point."

(Galatians 6:7c “A man reaps what he sows.”
Matthew 22:37-39 “. . . Love the Lord your God with all your heart & with all your soul & with all your mind. This is the 1st & greatest commandment. & the 2nd is like it; Love your neighbor as yourself.”)

The Cancer Conqueror shot up a prayer for guidance.
“Just as you have been liberated by extending unconditional love to yourself & to others, know that a loving God is extending even more & greater love to you."

The Cancer Conqueror paused for several seconds. "And even though our behavior may not always match our potential, even though our capacity for kindness, goodness, & gentleness is not fully realized, we can receive God’s love because God loves us for who we are, not for what we do!"

Another long pause. "Because of God’s great love, we are still acceptable even though we may be imperfect.”

(This is precisely the message of John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one & only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”There is no discrimination here; eternal life is available to ANYONE who believes in Jesus Christ.)

The Cancer Conqueror just stopped & fixed her gaze directly on the man’s eyes. The long silence was finally broken by the whisper of the man himself. "Imperfect but acceptable."

The Cancer Conqueror didn’t say a word. . . She could sense a transformation under way.

The man sank back in his chair. "Nobody ever explained it like this before," he whispered. "A loving, personal God, the creator of all there is, life as a loving teacher, & people who are not rejected because of their imperfections.

“I’m not perfect, but I am acceptable. I am loved," he continued in a hushed voice. "I can’t tell you what this means to me." He paused again. "This is the first time in my life that I have experienced nonjudgmental, unconditional love."

The Cancer Conqueror spoke. "This is a love that heals. Accept it. This love is the gateway to knowing personal peace. This love ultimately conquers cancer. And this love often cures it too.”

(Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in YOU [emphasis added].” Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.”)

More silence. The man was meditating. At last he asked, "There are no guarantees on this path, are there?"

“If you’re looking for a sure cure on the purely physical level, nobody can offer you one with integrity. But on the spiritual level, the answer is right before you. You are known. You are loved. You are acceptable. Yes. It’s guaranteed."

The two sat quietly. The man felt a sense of peacefulness that was completely new to him.

“This will quickly bring you to a point of realization: You & I are completely dependent on God. Everything, including life & health & all provision, even every breath we draw, is another gift from God. When I became aware that God is my complete source,” said the Cancer Conqueror, “I turned to the God of the Scriptures. Here I discovered the special power of trusting in God’s goodness that could be found nowhere else.”

(Philippians 4:13 Amplified Bible “I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me – I am ready for anything & equal to anything through him who infuses inner strength into me, [that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].”)

“This," said the man, "is the very point with which I have so much trouble. Can I really believe? Can I really trust God?”

(Psalm 145:13 “The Lord is faithful to all his promises & loving toward all he has made.” Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge & strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way & the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar & foam & the mountains quake with their surging.”)

“Yes, you can," said the Cancer Conqueror. "You can trust God completely. But don’t expect God to do it all for you. I want you to nurture trust in 3 physicians. Trust the physicians of the body, your medical team. Trust their competence & their integrity to do all you consent to on the physical level. Trust [the innate ability God has built into your body’s immune system to function in conjunction with your spiritual, psychological & emotional wellness] to generate physical healing. And trust the spiritual physician, the God who loves you & gives you true peace."

“Why not just pray for God to perform a miracle?" asked the man.
“God could," said the Cancer Conqueror. "We certainly want to allow for that. And God sometimes does that. But the natural laws by which God governs are seldom broken. Law-of-nature-defying miracles are certainly the exception. But law-of-nature-consistent miracles are happening every day. You elicit them when you trust & align with God’s will. God is not lessened because of that. . ."

Both were quiet . . . Finally the man said, "You know, I have a sense of calm – of deep peace right now. I’ve never experienced this before. This is entirely new to me. In fact, I sense it’s a new me."

The Cancer Conqueror smiled. This was the place she had hoped to bring the man.

“Peace is the goal," she said softly. "Knowing God’s peace, even if we have cancer, that’s what it means to conquer the illness [emphasis added].

“Our goal is peace with ourselves, with others, & with God. That goal is achieved by implementing the very things you have studied in your journey – believe, resolve, & live!

“When the goal of peace is achieved, it may be temporary. In fact, try not to relate peace to time at all. It may be difficult to achieve peacefulness for more than a few minutes at a time. If so, don’t be discouraged. It is the journey, not just the destination, that is the aim."

“I think I’ve heard that principle elsewhere," said the man. "Is that why everyone keeps referring to the ‘cancer journey’?"

“Exactly," said the Cancer Conqueror. "It’s a journey in search of God’s peace. And the sooner you make it a live journey, the sooner you will benefit from the lessons & come to experience your own peace."
. . ."Cancer is asking you to change. It’s a call toward a new life. You are called to be someone. You are called to do something. You are being called into a transformation. Pursue that call. Within it will be your reason for living.

“Don’t be driven," continued the Cancer Conqueror. "Be called. Take the time to listen & respond to the call."
“That call," asked the man, "is it centered in loving & helping others?"
“You know it is!" said the Cancer Conqueror. "Your call will take the form of love toward self, love toward others, & love toward God. And you’ll know you are succeeding when what you think, what you say, & what you do are consistent with God’s directions."

Again the 2 sat in silence. There was a deep peacefulness in their presence. The Cancer Conqueror prayed. The man was listening to that call from within.

Finally the Cancer Conqueror spoke again. "The achieving is in doing. Go & do."
There was another silence. Then the 2 stood & embraced. And the man left silently. God’s peace was with him.
*******************************************************************************
This narrative is followed by an instructional portion titled:
Transcend: Attaining Spiritual Connection

It is easy to lose sight of the spiritual component of life. We struggle with cancer, forgetting that pain can be an opportunity for spiritual awakening. We hope the wonders of modern medicine will restore our vitality. Yet we forget that the root definition of health is wholeness, which includes mending the spirit.

After personally working with thousands of cancer patients, I can report without equivocation that nurturing a deeper spirituality is central to healing. It’s awesome & predictable; when people move beyond medical care, diet, exercise, stress management, they invariably come to the journey of the soul. It is often a turning point, for this is the terrain of healing.

You & I live by & in the gift of God’s goodness. We do not have to entertain the nagging thoughts of fear that create dis-ease. Even in the midst of cancer, especially in the midst of cancer, I encourage you to acknowledge God as your complete source. Become consciously aware of that powerful connection. Therein is found God’s peace. Therein is healing of the highest order.

The peace we are all seeking cannot be found in merely knowing ABOUT God. We only discover & experience it in a personal relationship with Him.

Visit one of these sites if you want to know how you can accept Jesus Christ as your Lord & Savior:
http://www.cbmc.com/gospel/ Steps to Peace With God

http://www.campuscrusade.com/fourlawseng.htm 4 Spiritual Laws from Campus Crusade for Christ

If you make a decision to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior or decide to rededicate your life to Him, I would love to celebrate with you. Please send me an email to let me know of your decision. You can also feel free to ask me any questions that may have come to mind as you have read this chapter. There’s nothing that can compare with God’s unconditional love & forgiveness! His peace is beyond description [Philippians 4:4—8]! If you have never experienced it, you don’t know what you’re missing. Come on & join us. There’s ALWAYS room for one more in the family of God!

Ch 7 - Cancer Conquerors Share

2010-08-26T19:22:00.000-07:00

The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 7 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible.
******************************************************************************
As the weeks passed, the man put to use what he had learned on his journeys with the Cancer Conqueror. And guess what happened? He became a Cancer Conqueror! It happened not just because the man talked like a Cancer Conqueror but because he had learned a better way to live. And as the weeks built into months, he realized that it was not simply that he had learned new skills & knowledge but that he implemented what he had learned. This was a better life. Cancer really was a signal to change. New freedom was his! Love, joy, & peace were real to him!

At the end of the 1st year, the man looked back to the day when he 1st met the Cancer Conqueror. Since that time he had changed so much. His beliefs about cancer were radically different. He had some fundamental issues he hadn’t even recognized before the cancer. And choosing to live had given him a freedom of spirit previously unimaginable.

The man was thrilled to understand for the 1st time in his life that he was the one in control. But it was a spiritual control, one unlike most people sought, for certainly the man was not the ultimate power. Nor was he immune to all the problems life offered. Rather, the man had now developed a new power over himself, a power within, that allowed him to choose how to respond to the events of life. Daily he aligned himself with God’s will, recognizing this was his complete source of power & control. This was living! This was conquering cancer!

(I am in control of the choices I make & my responses to all that happens, but God is in control of my life & the outcome of my choices. I’m comfortable with that, since I know God only wants what is best for me. This journey is rich with opportunities for my relationship with Him to grow deeper & stronger, as it has when I have walked through other challenging experiences in life. He is stretching my faith & deepening my dependence on Him. Over & over again He demonstrates His faithfulness &love. Through my relationship with God & the power of the Holy Spirit, I am able to respond to the many challenges & to make choices as we seek God’s will through prayer & searching Scripture. We are also blessed with many faithful prayer warriors who follow my progress, through my blogs & monthly email prayer requests. These are a wonderful comfort & encouragement. The supportive, encouraging emails I receive in response are always cause for celebration! It is with great joy that I send personal responses to each email I receive; it increases my joy as I compose them. This makes it so easy to give the glory to God for the victories that are won! Apart from God, it would not be possible to experience such physical, emotional & spiritual victories!

Greg Anderson, in his book Cancer: 50 Essential Things to Do, states: “The real triumph over cancer is realized in the nurturing of personal spiritual growth.” I would specify Christian spiritual growth, to be sure your faith & trust is founded in the one & only true God of the universe with the power to effect our lives & to offer lasting hope & peace.

He continues, “Some people say, I’ll settle for a cure. Just get my life back to normal.’ Don’t settle for that! You don’t want things to get back to normal. After your experience with cancer, things will never be the same again. You want a new & better life. That life comes in the form of a new spiritual walk [in Christ].

“Cancer has pounded you with a million hammer blows. But you have the last word as to how those blows will shape you. William James, the distinguished psychologist & philosopher, declared that his generation’s most important discovery was that human beings, by changing their inner attitudes of mind, could change the outer aspects of their lives.

“The hammer blows of cancer can be used to change our inner states of spirit. By making personal spiritual growth our aim, the most important discovery will be to use the experience of cancer to shape us into wonderfully different people. Indeed, cancer can reshape our attitudes, soften our spirits, & transform our lives.”

Have you found this to be true in your experience so far? I sure have. Change is always within your control.

I’ve made this statement before, & I’ll say it again. Having cancer is one of the best things that has ever happened to me! I could not have said this the first year, but I have changed my perspective along the way. I can now see that I am much richer for taking this journey! Praise God! I could not say this if I had taken this journey without God. I’ve made a determined effort to get my priorities straight, & I will admit to shortcomings as well as successes. With God’s help, I will continue to make progress, despite the obstacles I face due to brain injury issues. Because I have learned so much about cancer & nutrition, I have a strong desire to share this information with others. God has opened many doors to make it possible for this to happen. The aspects I wish I could sprinkle liberally on, or hand out as gifts to, passive & discouraged cancer patients & people with other spiritual, emotional & physical problems are hope, a sense of God’s peace, resolve, determination, belief that they are worthy of God’s everlasting unconditional love, ability to trust God at all times, etc. However, the response-ability is in their hands; these are not things I’m able to give them. They must come from within. I pray they will learn them, experience them & eventually embrace them, as they grow in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

In high school I was a cheerleader. When I first learned about spiritual gifts, I wanted to know what my spiritual gift/gifts is/are. I learned that God gives us spiritual gifts to enable us to fulfill God’s calling/mission for our lives. In general, Ephesians 4:1b tells us, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” I see myself as a spiritual cheerleader. God has used me to cheer people along in their faith walk. The specific areas where I have served have changed, but the purpose is always the same – cheer them on – encourage them. Of course, I also end up sharing ideas & information in the process. As you may have noticed from this project & from several of my blogs, as well as the way in which I report test results & relate information learned from my oncologists, I am always careful to inform my audience. This is the teacher part of my character. This plays a role in achieving my purpose for God as well.

To be true to my calling, I couldn’t complete this project without including this next segment. My fighting spirit & resolve to live is couched in knowing God is not finished with me yet! That’s what He told me when I asked Him why I survived the near-fatal auto accident, in 1999. When I learned that I had cancer, He told me it wasn’t a death sentence; so, I assume He still isn’t done with me yet. That means I am to continue to carry out His purpose.

After the auto accident I went to college & earned a bachelor’s degree. With that, I was hired as an adjunct faculty member at Penn College. It was a tremendous victory to complete this degree, with an upper brain stem injury. To then stand in front of a classroom of students & teach & to encourage students was yet another victory. Was this fulfilling God’s purpose? Perhaps.

Then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doors of opportunity that are open to me today do fulfill my God-given purpose. I pray you know what your God-given purpose is; if not, I pray that you will discover it. Review your life. What have you done that brings fulfillment & satisfaction? Can you see that you fulfill a common purpose in each of these circumstances? Many years ago I did something similar to what Rick Warren proposes, in his 40-day devotional book The Purpose Driven Life; he asks his readers to write a life purpose statement. This purpose statement is based on 5 MUSTS, & he asks 5 questions that are the basis for writing a life purpose statement. A purpose statement then gives us a basis for making day-to-day choices, for setting goals, for making plans, and it provides a reason to keep on keeping on in the face of adversity. This is exactly what the exercise, which I did many years ago, has provided for me! It is the reason I look to God for help & strength to take every step of my journey. Every step we take in life can be taken with Jesus right beside us. When we are too weary, the load is too heavy, He carries us & the load!

The Purpose Driven Life’s last day’s devotion is titled "Living with Purpose.” It brings the book to a close, & asks the reader to summarize the lessons of the other 39 days by writing a “life purpose statement.”He states that “living on purpose is the only way to REALLY live. Everything else is just existing.”I agree. He explains the purpose of a life purpose statement – it “summarizes God’s purposes for your life, points the direction of your life, defines ‘success’ for you, clarifies your roles, etc." Of course, he elaborates on each of these points. Then he goes on to ask “Life’s Five Greatest Questions,” & to offer discussion about each one, to aid the reader in determining what he or she might write in his or her life purpose statement.

Warren says, “There are many ‘good’ things you can do with your life, but God’s purposes are the 5 essentials you MUST do. Unfortunately, it’s easy to get distracted & forget what is most important. It’s easy to drift away from what matters most & slowly get off course. To prevent this, you should develop a purpose statement for your life & then review it regularly,” Cancer can be either a distraction or the cause for us to stop & reconsider our priorities. The 5 questions are based on the 5 MUSTS. I’ll summarize them for you.

1. “What will be the CENTER of my life? . . . Who are you going to live for? What are you going to build your life around? You can center your life around your career, your family, a sport or hobby, money, having fun, or many other activities. These are all good things, but they don’t belong at the center of your life. None is strong enough to hold you together when life starts breaking apart. You need an unshakable center.
“. . . [W]hatever is at the center of your life is your god. . .

2. “What will be the CHARACTER of my life? . . . What kind of person will you be? God is far more interested in what you ARE than what you DO. Remember, you will take your character into eternity, but not your career. Make a list of the character qualities you want to work on & develop in your life.
“Don’t get discouraged & give up when you stumble. It takes a lifetime to build Christ-like character. Paul told Timothy [4:16b], ‘Keep a firm grasp on both your character & your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it (The Message).’

3. “What will be the CONTRIBUTION of my life? This is the question of SERVICE. . . Knowing your combination of Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, & Experiences (SHAPE), what would be your best role in the family of God? How can you make a difference?. . .
“While you are shaped to serve others, even Jesus didn’t meet the needs of EVERYONE while on earth. YOU HAVE TO CHOOSE WHOM YOU CAN BEST HELP, BASED ON YOUR SHAPE [emphasis added] . . .”

4. “What will be the COMMUNICATION of my life? This is the question of your MISSION to unbelievers. Your mission statement is a part of your life purpose statement. It should include your commitment to share your testimony & the Good News with others. You should also list the LIFE LESSONS & GODLY PASSIONS YOU FEEL GOD HAS GIVEN YOU TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD [emphasis added]. As you grow in Christ, God may give you a special target group of people to focus on reaching. Be sure to add this to your statement. . .
“Of course, our lives must support & validate the message we communicate. Before most unbelievers accept the Bible as credible they want to know that WE are credible. That is why the Bible says, ’Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.’”

5. “What will be the COMMUNITY of my life? . . . How will you demonstrate your commitment to other believers & connection to the family of God? . . .
. . . “Focus on God’s purposes for your life, not on your plans, since that’s what will last forever.” Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” All of our plans & goals should support our eternal purposes. In 1 Thessalonians 2:4b it says, “We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts.” In 2 Chronicles we read, “The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”

Warren encourages readers by saying, “When fulfilling your purposes seems tough, don’t give in to discouragement. Remember your reward, which will last forever. The Bible says, ‘For your light & momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all [2 Corinthians 2:14].’”

For me, this journey provides a wealth of opportunities to serve God & to fulfill my purpose by serving others [see emphasis added in questions 3 & 4]. All of my writing is born out of my desire to fulfill God’s purpose for my life. Although I don’t know who will read what I post on my blog site, God does, & I trust the results to Him.

I love having the opportunity to help others in one-on-one situations, by phone, or via email, to be their spiritual cheerleader & teacher. It is very rewarding to have God use me in this way. It is so satisfying to be able to share hope, comfort, encouragement, friendship, direction, answers to questions, helpful information, resources, & good advice. It’s amazing when I recognize changes are taking place in their lives that are evident in their conversations or correspondence. It’s so exciting! It goes beyond the satisfaction of checking off completed tasks from a to-do list or even meeting long-term goals. The satisfaction comes from knowing I’ve had the opportunity to make a spiritual difference in someone’s life, today, tomorrow, & for eternity.)

The man began sharing his journey with newly diagnosed patients. It was most encouraging to see people change their beliefs, resolve emotional conflicts, then choose to live. The man made himself more & more available for these times of sharing. Cancer had taught him some valuable lessons. He was becoming a student of life, & at the same time he was becoming a teacher of living. He greatly enjoyed helping others learn to help themselves.
*******************************************************************************
About the author
Greg Anderson is the author of 12 books.
To introduce Chapter 1, I described Greg’s wake-up call, in 1984. After his surgeon told him he had 30 days to live, he was stunned. One moment he was in tears, the next he was enraged. He thought it was all a mistake; he was convinced his tests had been confused with another patient’s. He was filled with fear & self-pity.

He says, “One afternoon I yelled out in anger, ‘Oh God, what can I do?”

“That question was the right query. And it was answered. No, God didn’t part the clouds & speak; I remain a committed skeptic regarding such claims. But figuratively, the clouds were parted & God communicated. It was a non-verbal communication. I had the distinct impression that my task was to search for survivors. I became aware that I needed to find people who were ‘supposed’ to die but had lived. And once I found them, I was to learn from their experience.”

Contacting survivors across North America, he conducted interviews with patients who were “supposed to die” but had lived. His question: Were there common characteristics of survivorship he could apply to his own search?

You know the answer to the question, since you’ve seen the list. Anderson found healing in the combination of body, mind, & spirit – the power of intentional lifestyle choices coupled with conventional medical care.

In 1985, he started the Cancer Conquerors Foundation, the predecessor of Cancer Recovery Foundation of America, a nonprofit educational & support organization whose mission is to educate, empower, & encourage cancer patients regarding the full spectrum of treatment & recovery options. This organization provides training & support for implementing body-mind-spirit wellness strategies.

Today, the Foundation has been renamed the Foundation for Cancer Research & Wellness. Anderson’s work emphasizes the integration of mental, emotional, & spiritual aspects of healing with traditional medical care.

The website address for the Foundation is – http://www.cancerrecovery.org/site/PageServer?pagename=adult_homepage

On this site you can find LOTS of helpful information, & you can sign up to receive daily devotionals. They are very short but quite meaningful. I enjoy reading them.

Twice a week a conference-call support group is available for folks who sign up, by phone or email. This support group is moderated by a staff pastor.
*******************************************************************************

This book was published as a 25th Anniversary edition, in 2009, but the title was changed to The Cancer Conqueror: An Incredible Journey to Wellness. It was re-printed to celebrate Greg Anderson’s silver anniversary of being cancer-free!! This is available on the Foundation for Cancer Recover & Wellness web site & on Amazon.

Another version is The Cancer Conqueror with Bible Study Guide (2005). This edition includes two additional sections. The first is a 62-page Bible study guide organized into a 7-week study called "Cancer and the Greatest Healing Promises from the Bible." The second section is called "How to Organize and Lead a Cancer Support Group." It offers practical and tested suggestions to begin a group that offers real support to those in the cancer journey.

It is my sincere hope that current cancer patients & cancer survivors, who have read these blogs, will be inspired to become Cancer Conquers. I also pray that you will be as excited as I am to share these journeys with other cancer patients, survivors & care-givers.

When I first read this book, I was like a race horse in the starting gate, chomping at the bit. I couldn’t wait to share these principles with other cancer patients!!! I was already employing several of the strategies & was certain they work! Then I stopped myself when I realized that race horses are “driven,” not called. Oops! I needed to slow down.

I’d had my ups & downs, in terms of helping others. Through prayer, I was able to be more effective, but I knew I needed to learn more about how to approach helping others. I was communicating information, but I was not always connecting with the individuals. MOST, but not all, of my difficulty is due to my brain injury. With God’s help, I’m learning; He’s helping me to overcome my weaknesses. Praise God! He is slowly molding me into a vessel that he can use more effectively. It’s very exciting when I see Him working through my life to encourage others! I look forward to more opportunities to continue helping other cancer patients, as well as people with other health issues!

Although I have ideas for other things, I feel called to do, I will not run ahead & just do them; I will wait for God’s timing; so, I know He has prepared me for the task.

It is my vision to see a support group (or perhaps several) that is (are) led by Cancer Conquerors who share this vision: taking current cancer patients & newly-diagnosed cancer patients on the journeys of this book to help them to become Cancer Conquerors.

I feel called to present these ideas & to share the lessons I’ve learned on my journeys, as it fits with God’s purpose for my life. Although this project has been VERY time intensive, I am grateful for all that I have gained by completing it. It’s very interesting to put my thoughts, while reading this book, in writing! It has served to imprint the strategies on my brain more clearly, to organize my thoughts, & to help me put into words my personal convictions, passions, & commentary. I’ve also been able to insert Scripture where I feel it is appropriate & to add some reflective thoughts at those points. In addition, I’ve been able to support several aspects that I thought were a little weak, with other research resources. This is wonderful advance mental preparation for me, & it provides me with a wealth of information from which to work, in terms of helping other cancer patients. Interestingly, I have found that there are emotional, psychological, & spiritual aspects of these strategies that apply to other health issues, as well. Therefore, they are very valuable when counseling people who are struggling with these aspects of other health issues. Completing this project has helped to better prepare me to share these concepts with others in a more natural way, without having to pick up the book & read it to them or hand it to them & tell them to read it. Praise God!! In fact, I’m not sure I would ask someone to merely read it, unless I also had the opportunity to discuss the strategies with them or to put a copy of these summaries with a copy of the book. In fact, my personal copy has notes & scripture references in the margins of it, in addition to the things I've highlighted in the book.

I’m praying that these summaries, with the added commentary, scripture & additional resources, will plant the seeds of my vision so that it will become a reality. I would love to see a support group of Cancer Conquerors mentoring cancer patients, to become Cancer Conquerors. I know these support groups exist in other communities. It would be AWESOME to have a group right here, where I live. How about you? Would you like to have a Cancer Conqueror support group in your community?

Ch 1 – Lessons From the Past

2010-07-20T16:47:00.000-07:00

Original post 2/15/08

In September of 1985, my mother, who was 49, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Although advances had been made in the treatment of breast cancer, it was still, for most patients, a death sentence.

She had a mastectomy & the lymph nodes under her arm removed. When the pathology showed that the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes I was not optimistic.

Within 6 weeks, she was scheduled for a complete hysterectomy, which I was told was related to the breast cancer, but I did not fully understand how. I did not know what questions to ask.

My mother made me and my 2 sisters promise that we would have yearly mammograms when we reached age 40. (I’ve kept my promise.) My mother never had yearly mammograms. She was always afraid of doctors & afraid of bad news. She avoided both like the plague. In fact, my dad later told me that she knew for a year that she had a lump in her breast but refused to go to the doctor to have it checked, because she was afraid it was malignant. I thought that was the dumbest reason for not having it checked. This is the very reason I vowed to keep my promise to have yearly mammograms & to never ignore a lump if I detected one.

My mother began chemotherapy, but she did not finish the set number of treatments because they made her so sick.

In December of 1988, she visited the oncologist for a checkup & a complaint of a pain in her chest. A bone scan revealed that her cancer had metastasized to her ribs. She underwent radiation treatments. The cancer continued to spread. She underwent chemotherapy. The cancer continued to spread. She fought the battle with cancer until November 28, 1990.

My mother’s faith in God gave her strength. Although she fought the battle with strength and courage, she also went through times of deep depression. My dad and those of us who supported and prayed for her did what we could to help and to encourage her during those times, as we lifted her up in our prayers & helped her in any way we could. Sometimes, her anger, over the disease robbing her of life, was misdirected. In hindsight, we recognize this. At that time, it was hard to understand where it was coming from. Why was she mad at the whole world? Isn’t it funny how hindsight helps us to see things from a different perspective?

It’s not an easy road to travel for the one who has cancer or for the family members. It takes a lot of patience, understanding, willingness to forgive human weaknesses, and a willingness to be emotionally and physically supportive of each other. Apart from faith in God, maintaining a relationship with God and healthy relationships with each other that include open communication, I don’t know how this can happen. A network of supportive friends is also a huge advantage. If these relationships are not strong before such a diagnosis, they are nearly impossible to build in the midst of dealing with the multitude of things that bombard you upon learning that you have such a disease. My heart aches for those who travel the road alone!

How I praise God for my salvation, my relationship with God, my husband, Ed, and the wonderful relationships I share with Ed & my kids, kids-in-law and grandson: Steven, Kelly & Parker; Lisa & Dave; & Kristy! The networks of supportive friends at Penn College & Christ Wesleyan Church are also wonderful blessings. I am so richly blessed!

Ch 2 – A Sore Shoulder – What Does It Mean?

2010-07-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

Original post 2/25/08

July 2007, friends invited us to join them for a week’s vacation in the Berkshires. We had a wonderful time, but I was bothered by a sore left shoulder, especially at night. I could not lie on it, & of course I prefer to sleep on my left side. I couldn’t think of anything I had done to cause this type of pain. It even hurt when I moved it to change clothes. What a mystery. One morning while showering, I decided to poke around to see if I could find the source of the pain I was experiencing. To my surprise, I discovered a small lump deep in my arm pit. How weird is that? A small lump in my arm pit was making my shoulder sore. Was it some mild infection that would clear up in a few days? I told Ed what I discovered, & we decided I would call my doctor to ask about it if the pain & the lump did not go away by the following week. The pain went away, & I totally forgot about it.

In mid-September the shoulder pain returned. I checked my left arm pit & realized that the lump was now a superficial bump. I did not have to probe to find it. I went to the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror, raised my left arm, with my body at a slight twist to the left & could see a slight, round bulge that was about an inch in diameter. Now what? Call the doctor! I told Ed the lump I felt in July had not gone away but had actually grown & was again causing pain. He too was quite concerned!

Dr. Pam says it might be one of several minor ailments or, worst case scenario, lymphoma. She orders a battery of blood tests. I can’t even remember how many tubes of blood are drawn; I just remember there are a lot! From a physical exam, every lymph node she can feel, from my neck to my pelvis, seems to be somewhat enlarged; so, she orders a chest x-ray. The x-ray shows that the lymph nodes in the center of my chest are also somewhat enlarged. She says that she always proceeds from the most pessimistic possibility in hopes that she is proven to be wrong. The next step is to schedule a CT scan to look at the lymph nodes under my arms, in my chest & pelvis more closely. By the time the results of the scan & blood work are known enough time will elapse to know if the precautionary antibiotic makes any difference. If we don’t get answers from these sources & the lymph node is still enlarged, she will then send me to a surgeon to have it biopsied.

The possible prognosis of lymphoma does not really sink in until after I leave the office. When it does, it hits me like a ton of bricks! If I had any idea this is the type of news I was going to hear I would not have gone by myself. I call my husband & tell him what the possibilities are. I don’t want him to think I am falling apart; I try to be very positive & to downplay the possibility of lymphoma. We call our children to let them know what is going on, so they will be aware of the situation & so they will pray for us. Of course, they are stunned by the possibility of lymphoma.

As Ed & I wait, for weeks, for results, we cling to each other; we do a lot of talking, a lot of embracing, a lot of praying together. We spend as much time together as possible. Our priorities quickly shift. When I am by myself I try to go about my responsibilities, but my thoughts are distracted & keep drifting from prioritizing my day & my week, to planning what I want to do when my health is good enough to allow me to do special projects that I want to do for Ed & each of the kids before I die, to planning my funeral. I know it’s morbid, but I’m being honest. My mind is convinced that I'll be gone inside of a year. Why? I don't know. It's probably because of my preconceived notions about cancer. The "C" word evokes unpleasant memories of friends & loved ones as they struggled through the final stages of the disease; we watch & wonder if their suffering is due to the treatment, the disease or the combination of the 2. It’s sad & heartbreaking!! I don’t want to think of myself as the person going through such an ordeal. I’ve prayed, for years, that God would protect me from having cancer. I was sure I was safe. Even my prayers now include asking God for enough time to complete my special projects I want to leave behind, as symbols of my love, for my family. I want to live to travel with my husband when he retires; I want to see my grandson go to school, graduate from high school & college & get married; I want the same for my granddaughter, who is due April 2008. You think about these things when you are faced with the possibility of having a life-threatening illness. It sharpens your awareness of many things.

I research lymphoma on the Internet. When I discover there are 2 families of lymphoma, I make a deal with God. I ask Him, “If I do have lymphoma, can I have one from this family that has a longer life expectancy?” What am I doing? If I have lymphoma, the type is already decided; there is no changing it (Psalm 139: 16). I ask some friends to keep me in their prayers & also called our church prayer chain to have my name added.

I tell friends what I may be facing. They tell me they know I am a strong person & I will get through it like I did when I was in the auto accident. Don’t they understand? In 1999, I was in a near fatal car accident. All that I’ve regained & accomplished has only been possible because of God’s grace. Yes, I worked very hard, but I could not have done it unless God made it possible. It was not my strength they saw; it was the strength I drew from God (I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me – I am ready for anything & equal to anything through Him who infuses inner strength into me, [that is, I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency]. (Amplified Bible Philippians 4:13).

During the fall of 2007, I taught two math courses at Penn College, in Williamsport. I remember many times walking into class wondering how I am going to pull myself together to teach this class. My hands are shaking & my knees were wobbly. I breathe a prayer as I set up the classroom; then I open my mouth & begin the lesson. Each time God helped me push the distracting thoughts aside long enough to complete the lesson.

As you can see, I was struggling with anxiety as we worked through the process of eliminating possibilities, while handling my regular responsibilities. Due to a brain injury, from an auto accident in 1999, the number of stimuli my brain can handle at one time is very limited. Even crowded stores or very busy highways are often too much for my brain. I avoid them at all costs. There are times that I begin to visibly shake & cannot stop for 15 minutes to half an hour. With one medication I am able to control some of the daytime anxiety; with another, I am able to sleep at night. I remember a time when I would have been too proud to take such medications; or, if I did, I would not admit it to anyone. Today, I realize that I sometimes need such help so that I am to function & to think rationally.

Contemporary Christian music also soothes my soul, & I listen to it as often as possible. The melody of the music calms me psychologically, & the lyrics remind me of Scripture & God’s promises. Prayer is also very effective in reducing the frequency & severity of the anxiety so that I take fewer anxiety pills as we progress through the process. With the proper combination of these three, my quality of life is much improved!
Results of the blood work come back first. Nothing is abnormal.
The 10 days of the antibiotic elapse. No change in the lymph node.
The results of the CT scan come back. The lymph nodes in the mediastinum are somewhat enlarged, & there are 2 small nodules on the lungs, but all are under 1 centimeter. The recommendation is to have them rechecked in 6 months.

It is now November. Although the pain is gone, the lymph node is still enlarged. Off to the surgeon for a biopsy. Despite the fact that I have a superficial swelling, the surgeon has a difficult time finding the actual “lump,” because it is so deep against my chest wall. Based on the information he is given, he says, in his opinion, there is less than a 10% chance that the lymph node is malignant. Based on the other test results & the fact that I understand cancerous tumors generally do not cause pain, I am now reasonably sure he is correct.

Ch 3 – Diagnosis – Peace That Transcends Understanding

2010-07-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

Original post 3/7/08

I spent two months of struggling with anxiety over the possibility of having a life-threatening disease. It was understandable that this possibility caused Ed to re-live his worst nightmare – almost losing me in an auto accident, in 1999. He received a phone call from the hospital chaplain to inform him that I was being treated in the emergency room at Geisinger Hospital. The closest he came to finding out my condition was the response to his question, “Should I contact the family?” When she said, “Yes,” he knew how serious my condition was. When he was finally permitted to see me, after several long hours, I was still in an unresponsive state, & he could only recognize me by my wedding rings.

My life-threatening injuries were quite severe & very extensive. Although it was 4 days before the doctors determined that I was going to live, God assured Ed, as he prayed for me in the hospital prayer chapel, as I was undergoing surgery the night of the accident, that I was going to make it. Even when the doctors determined that I would make it, they were not sure that I would ever walk again, if my short-term memory would return, or if I would ever be able to carry on a conversation in full sentences. As you can see, I’ve done all of that & more. Praise God!

In light of overcoming so much when the odds were against me, everyone around me thought I was the one who was so strong to get through it all. Even Ed saw it that way, in many respects. However, you must know that I only know about most of this as secondhand information. I am as amazed as anyone at what God did for me! I wasn’t aware of it when my life was in danger. I only have very short snippets of memories (positive ones, of specific visitors & specific events) from the first 3 weeks in the hospital. I don’t remember not having my short-term memory. I never heard, or don’t remember hearing, the doctors say that I probably wouldn’t be able to carry on conversations in full sentences or that I probably wouldn’t be able to walk again. I only ever assumed that I would recover back to “normal” again. Sometimes ignorance is bliss & a blessing!

Although Ed & the kids are facing, for a 2nd time, the possibility of losing me, I am facing my mortality for the 1st time. I am not afraid to die; I know where I am going when I do. As I explained earlier, there are a lot of things that I want to see & do yet, before I leave this earth. As I was recovering from my auto accident, I ask God why He spared my life, & He told me because He is not finished with me yet. I found myself pleadingly asking, “You did say you aren’t finished with me yet, didn’t you, God?” I feel that it is vitally important that I fulfill my God-given purpose in life.

After my auto accident my faith & prayers were more open, simple & childlike. Prayers were more often conversations, two-way conversations. And they continue to be two-way conversations at critical points in time. God says a lot in a few words; sometimes He points me to a verse or portion of Scripture. If He does not speak Scripture, I look to confirm what I hear with Scripture.

As I said in chapter 2, I discovered ways to find relief from the anxiety I was experiencing, but I really needed to find was peace deep in my soul. God gave me that “peace that transcends understanding” – the kind referred to in Philippians 4:4–7 – the Friday morning I went to get the results of the lymph node biopsy.

Ed has to go to the college before we got to the appointment. When he comes home, I am singing along with a praise & worship CD as I am getting ready. He was quite surprised to find me calm & singing! I tell him that the music helps me to keep my focus on the fact that God is in control. The results are what they are; I can’t change them. I explain what happened as I was getting ready: As I brush my teeth, I sense God telling me that the biopsy is malignant. I gulp hard, but before I can form my next thought, He adds, “but it’s not a death sentence.” Each time my mind tries to form another negative “but . . . God” thought, He repeats, “it’s not a death sentence.” After about 3 times I get the message & thank Him! WOW! A sense of peace washes over me that I cannot describe.

We meet the surgeon. The look on his face, the hesitation in his voice & the difficulty in making eye contact is enough to let us know what he is about to tell us. The lymph node is a little over 2 centimeters & it is malignant. However, the pathologist assured the surgeon that it is not lymphoma. Because it is not lymphoma, it came from somewhere else. Instead she says it is either breast or lung cancer that has spread to this lymph node & perhaps others. What? I’ve never had an irregular mammogram & the CT scan, in September, did not seem to indicate anything of consequence.

I am prepared for the diagnosis of malignancy, but it still shakes me. The doctor gives us some time alone to cry together. The surgeon has already ordered the films from my last mammogram, 11 months earlier. I am sent for a digital mammogram & told to return after lunch to discuss the results.

The digital mammogram shows 3 calcium deposits, which can be harmless & very natural. An ultrasound of that area is done. Then another mammogram of the area of the calcifications is done to zoom in, to enlarge that smaller area. I have no detectable lumps, no discernable shadows around the calcifications, nothing suspicious except the malignant lymph node. The surgeon says there is a 50/50 chance the calcifications are malignant. He recommends that I have a biopsy of the calcifications, which I do early the next week. You already guessed the outcome. The 2 centimeter biopsy is malignant, & they do not get clean margins – meaning they do not get all of the cancer.

Over the weekend, we do a lot of talking & praying. I tell Ed about my experience as I brushed my teeth before we went to the appointment. Because the experience is mine, I can share the story but cannot give him my sense of peace. However, I am still on the lookout for Scriptural confirmation.

As a part of the sermon Sunday morning Pastor Arlie shows a video testimony. The woman uses Psalm 18:19 as her anchor verse. I turn to it in my Bible. (I always have a marker in Psalm 18 as it is my anchor chapter in my testimony with regard to my accident in 1999. Read the following for some insight: Psalm 18:1-6, 16-19, 30-36.) I back up to verse 16 and read through verse 19. As I do, I noticed that I have a cross-reference written above verse 19. I turn to Psalm 91:14–16. I notice that I have underlined each time it states “I will” in the entire chapter. God is not wishy-washy He is definite! We can depend on Him; He keeps his Word! When I get to verse 16 the words “with long life” could have leapt off of the page! I hand my Bible to Ed & have him read the 2 passages, hoping they will have the same meaning for him as they do for me. These 2 passages, in Psalm 18 and Psalm 91, are the Scriptural confirmation that my diagnosis with cancer is not a death sentence. God is not done with me yet!

The challenge now is to rely on God moment-by-moment so that I do not allow anyone or anything to steal my peace as I face the uncertainties that lie ahead.

Ch 4 – Blessings of Family

2010-07-20T15:53:00.000-07:00

Original post 3/26/08

The days between the Friday appointment, when we learned that the lymph node biopsy is malignant & the impending breast biopsy, Wed. Nov. 21, ‘07, are exhausting, as we recount the events of the Friday appointment to family & friends. I call the prayer line at our church, Christ Wesleyan, to request prayer & to inform them of my preliminary diagnosis. In the evening, Ed calls my brother Andy, my sister Jennifer, & his parents; he calls our 3 kids Steven, Lisa & Kristy. Everyone is surprised, somewhat shaken, concerned & has questions we cannot answer. The phone calls are emotionally exhausting for Ed, but I just can’t make the calls. I do talk to Andy, Jennifer & the kids briefly, after Ed shares the initial news, to assure them that I am OK.

God’s reassurance, before the appointment, that the diagnosis is not a death sentence is a great comfort to me, but I am not able to convey that same sense of peace to Ed. I can only pray that God will give Ed his own personal experience that will allow him to sense God’s peace. I could understand that if the tables were turned I would feel as he does. While I would believe him, I would still think, “I wish God would give me that same peace, and I hope he is right about this not being a death sentence.”

The kids all want to come home, but that is not possible for all of them. Steven, Kelly & Parker spend Saturday with us. It is therapeutic to enjoy spending quality family time together. Parker, an active two-and-a-half-year-old, who is oblivious to the situation, has a wonderful way of diverting one’s mind from a troubling situation.

Kelly is in the final phase of her course work & clinical training as a hospital laboratory technologist. She offers to answer questions, pose questions, define clinical terms, interpret lab reports & ask her supervisor for input on lab reports as needed. Her expertise & resources come in quite handy through out this journey!

Sunday morning, in church, I submit a prayer request slip to a greeter & mark that it can be shared publicly. At intercessory prayer time, Pastor Arlie shares that I have just been diagnosed with cancer & am undergoing a second biopsy in the coming week to determine the type & to hopefully determine the stage of the cancer.

The video testimony, which I described in the chapter 3 blog, occurred prior to this time; so, as I explained, I was reassured that my cancer was not a death sentence. The uncertainty, OK, I’ll tell the truth, the fear (not paralyzing fear, but fear, nonetheless) for me was the part in between the diagnosis & recovery. I have witnessed enough people going through chemo & radiation to know that it seems as though the doctors take them to the brink of death, in the process of killing the cancer, even when the person survives. It’s not a pleasant thought. Do I have breast or lung cancer? I don’t know how I can have either, given my test results.

I go to the front of the church at intercessory prayer time & sit on a prayer bench. My sister, Jennifer, sits beside me & Ed kneels in front of me. Jennifer & I lock forearms & clasp hands tightly, until we both have white knuckles. I have my other arm around Ed’s neck. It is probably more of a headlock than a hug, since I am hanging on so tightly. Pastor Arlie prays for me. I can’t remember exactly what he said, but I remember that he gave thanks to God for the many miracles He’s done on my behalf after my accident, in 1999, and he made mention of the miracles that astounded the doctors, because I recovered beyond what they ever thought possible. He also mentioned how God continued His work in my life as He helped me to attain a college degree, with honors, despite a brain injury. In saying these things, he’s suggesting that God’s plan for my life is not complete & asking God to again perform a miracle & heal me of this cancer.

When he finishes the prayer he moves to the next person, & my husband hands me some tissues. With tears still streaming down my face, I glance up to see a very large number of people surrounding us to pray with us. It is so humbling & overwhelming that I spent the remainder of the prayer time praying for those people. I thank God for their love, care & concern & asking God to meet the needs of their lives. It makes me ask, “Who am I that this many people would do this for me?” When prayer time ends, many of them hug me & tell me that they will be praying for me daily. I know they mean it & will do it!

Kristy calls me Sunday afternoon to tell me not to worry about Thanksgiving dinner. When I ask why, she says she will cook the meal for the family, if I will buy the food. Of course, I am pleasantly surprised by her loving offer! Although I still love to have the family together for holiday meals, it has become quite an interesting ordeal for me to plan & orchestrate, due to my brain injury. Given the current circumstances, Kristy is very intuitive to foresee the added stress I will be under to pull off a holiday meal successfully. Ed says he will order pies for dessert & help me do the shopping. Kristy says she will be home Wednesday night to begin preparations. Thanksgiving Day she apologizes for asking for my help, as she prepares the meal, when the meal was done, but I am glad to help. I tell her that fixing a holiday meal for 8 people is never a one-person show; I never do it all by myself.

Monday, we return to work. Of course our co-workers know of our appointment Friday. The barrage of questions all day long shows the extent of care & concern by our co-workers. This is very much appreciated, but it is emotionally draining to retell the story repeatedly, especially for Ed. We have a network of friends who are genuinely concerned & willing to help out in any way possible. It is actually easier for me to answer questions than it is for Ed, because God has given me such peace. I’m not shy about sharing the fact that God has told me this isn’t a death sentence. My goal is to be honest about why I am not a nervous wreck, & to let them know that it is not an act. I am honest about the fact that I am apprehensive about treatment, but certain that I will get through it. I’m sure several people thought I was a little strange, but they are willing to go along with it if it makes me feel OK with the diagnosis.

All the love, care & support we receive from our family, our church family & our network of friends at the college is a great comfort & a wonderful blessing in our lives! We have commented numerous times that we can literally feel the prayers sustaining us & holding us up at times when circumstances are pushing us down & closing in on us. Praise God!

Since we believe in praying for specifics & that there is more power when more people are believing & asking God for the same thing(s), we try to let people who are praying for us know our specific needs & prayer concerns. When God answers our specific prayers, we let these same people know that God has met our need or answered our concerns. A long time ago I ask myself, “If I don’t pray specific prayers, how will I ever know if God answers my prayers?”

Friday, after the biopsy, we call to ask for the results & learn that it is malignant. I have breast cancer. Soon after that call, the Center for Breast Health calls me, & asks me to stop by to pick up a packet of materials on breast cancer that Ed & I should read prior to our appointment with the surgeon Friday after Thanksgiving. We are told that we are welcome to bring any of our children & that we should write down any questions we have. The nurse highlighted information that pertains to the specific type of cancer I have (ductal, invasive ductal carcinoma) & the other important information for us to read.

We learn a lot about cancer. It is so overwhelming to read, because it is now personal. Because I am an avid reader, it is quite unusual that I read only what I have to read. Ed & Lisa also read through the info. Lisa becomes so intrigued by the info. that she conducts an Internet search of some topics. She & Ed make a list of questions for the appointment. Ed, Lisa & her husband, Dave, & I go to the appointment. We continue to learn more about my cancer & breast cancer in general. One of the questions we ask is whether or not the surgeon can tell us the stage of my cancer. He cannot because the breast biopsy is 2 centimeters, but he did not get clean margins, & he does not know if the lymph node removed is the only lymph node that is malignant. We are told that the oncologist will answer that question.

This process that is already, as far as we were concerned, taking too long, is now stretching out further & further! Based on what we learn, in the literature & from the surgeon, about the average rate at which cancer cells double, this is making our family (3 math teachers & a mechanical engineer) VERY uncomfortable! We thought surgery would be scheduled at this appointment, but we are wrong.

I thought my mind was on overload as I contemplated the possibility of having lymphoma, but it seems so mild compared to the deluge of information, literature, advice & stories I am told, when I learn & inform others of my diagnosis. It is MUCH easier with my supportive husband, family, church family, friends, & network of co-workers. Thank you God for loving me & blessing my life with these wonderful people!

Ch 5 – Other Difficulties

2010-07-20T15:35:00.000-07:00

Original post 4/4/08

The appointment with the surgeon, Nov. 23rd, is about 3 hours long! We learn a lot & ask a lot of questions. The surgeon comments that it is backwards to learn that I have breast cancer by finding a malignant lymph node.

We ask if we can have genetic testing done to determine if my cancer is genetic, since my mother also had breast cancer. The nurse writes a letter & fills out the paperwork to start the process, but we are told that it can take 4-6 weeks to get the results. We are asked if the results will make any difference in the decision I will make about my surgery. Oh no, another fly in the ointment! This is my deciding factor between a single or bilateral mastectomy. From what I have read, my chances of developing cancer in the remaining breast are too high, if my cancer is genetic, & I will opt for a bilateral mastectomy. I silently cry out to God, “OK, God You are in control. You can get these results back to us sooner than 4-6 weeks.” We also want to know these results for our children & my siblings. It will be wonderful if it is not genetic & they can have the peace of mind in knowing that.

In learning that my cancer is estrogen receptor (ER) positive I know I have to call Dr. Pam & stop my hormone replacement therapy (HRT). This will create another health issue to deal with – more frequent & more severe migraine headaches. The very reason I remained on HRT for so long after my hysterectomy, in 1993, is because it helped to decrease the frequency & severity of my post-trauma migraine headaches. I was in an auto accident in 1989 & suffered from whiplash & a blow to the head. The result was 2 ruptured discs in my neck & post-trauma migraines. I only went through 10 doctors before I finally received help from Dr. Pam to help me with the migraines & an orthopedic surgeon who did an MRI & found the 2 ruptured discs in my neck. He removed the worst offender & fused the 2 vertebrae, which gave me relief from 4 years of terrible neck, back, shoulder & arm pain. For the migraines, I had previously been through every family of medicine known to treat them. Some did nothing, others I was allergic to, & some had side effects I could not tolerate. My best approach was to have medication to take when a migraine struck. Dr. Pam explained to me, prior to the hysterectomy, that it could cure my migraines or cause the frequency & severity to increase. Lucky me; I got the latter. The first 3 days home from the hospital, I was back to the E.R. twice for shots to treat the pain for these awful migraines. When we tried HRT, the frequency & severity of the migraines subsided. Therefore, it seemed reasonable to remain on it to keep the migraines under control. As you can see, I’m no stranger to pain or to health issues. I can assure you, they are fertile ground for learning to trust God.

Monday Nov. 26th we are anxiously awaiting a call from Lisa, who is expecting her 1st child. She is to have her 2nd ultra sound, to check all the vital information, as well as, to learn the sex of the baby. I have told her that I am sure it is a girl.

There are no classes at the college Monday, but Ed & I go to the college in the afternoon, because he has some things to do. When his cell phone rings we were so excited, but I see his face go from a smile to grave concern very quickly. He asks a lot of questions to try to get as much information as possible. I am trying to fill in the blanks as I hear Ed’s side of the conversation. As he hangs up, we embrace. I ask what is wrong. He tells me, while choking back tears, that it’s a girl, but the ultra sound indicates she may have a life-threatening birth defect. It hits us like a ton of bricks! Our heads were swirling with questions! We leave for home. Although we had planned on going out for dinner, we don’t have the appetite to do so, at this point. We need to get something to eat; so, we pick up a slice of pizza & fill the car with gas. When Ed gets back in the car, he asks me what I think we should do. I say I think we should go to the prayer chapel; he agrees. We drive directly there. We are so thankful that Christ Wesleyan has a prayer chapel that is open 24/7!

We kneel at the altar side-by-side, hand-in-hand & take turns praying aloud, together. Then we pray silently, alone. Oh, we shed lots of tears & go through lots of tissues. We sit & talk together a while. After that we sit & listen silently for God to speak to us. When we speak to each other again, we both say that we have a sense of peace that our granddaughter is going to be OK. Ed says that God also gave him peace that I am going to be OK, too. Praise God! He is so AWESOME!

When we get home we call Lisa & Dave to tell them about our experience at the prayer chapel & to ask if they want us to call any other family members. We also let them know that we called the prayer line at the church. Lisa says that she has a follow-up appointment at the University of Virginia (UVA) Dec. 6th, for another ultra sound, where they have more sensitive equipment & more highly trained technicians & doctors. We will be going to visit them the weekend of the 7th but will call for the results on the 6th. We will trust God for a positive report.

Ch 6 – Angry to SPECTACULAR!

2010-07-20T15:31:00.000-07:00

Original post 4/4/08

Dec. 5th, we are scheduled to meet with the medical & radiology oncologists. The night before, Ed reminds me that I have papers to fill out. It’s late when he reminds me, & I’m tired. Filling out papers with my medical history makes me cranky because it’s a reminder of all the recent bad stuff that I’ve gone through. To top it off, I have to fill out 2 sets, & the doctors are in the same office. That makes me crankier. I don’t know why they can’t just make a photo copy of one set. By the time I get through both sets I have them all jumbled up. I don’t know which papers are for which doctor.

As I stomp upstairs to go to bed, I have the urge to destroy a few things with a baseball bat, which is uncharacteristic for me! I get into bed; sock myself back into my pillows hard (How did I manage to not rap my head on the head board?); I yank the covers up to my chest & slam my fists down by my sides. Ed slowly asks, “Are – you – mad – at – me?” I quickly blurt out, “No. I’m mad at cancer! I just want to destroy some things with a baseball bat!” He tries, unsuccessfully to calm me down with some reasoning, but I’m not in the mood for it. It’s tearing me apart inside because I want & need love & understanding, but how could I expect to get it when I am SO ANGRY at this disease. I am my own worst enemy. I do remember listing a bunch of questions & saying that I know I shouldn’t be mad at God, but right now I’m wondering, “What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? I don’t understand it.” By this time I’m crying. In my head, I’m telling God I’m sorry, I know this is wrong, but this is how I’m feeling. I’m sorry, but I’m angry! I’m angry at this disease! I know all the Bible verses, by heart, to quote to myself, but I don’t want to hear them. I’m getting my PhD (Pile it higher & deeper) in rebellion, as I piled on my offenses. I go on for some time. Finally Ed suggests that I take something to help me relax, so I can get some sleep & to be able to get up in time for our 8am appointment. He then puts his arm around me & prays for me. This helps to finally calm me down enough to get some sleep.

In the morning, I am still not in a good mood. We arrive at the doctors’ office. Ed has reshuffled the papers into the 2 stacks & hands them to me to hold on the drive to the office. When we arrive I know he thinks I should give them to the receptionist. I want to walk up to the window & throw them at her so that they will fly all over the floor in a mess, which I know is the wrong thing to do; so, I hand them to Ed – hint, hint. He does the wise thing & hands them to her & lets her know I am there. Thank you, God, for a patient & understanding husband!

A nurse calls my name & greets me in a very cheery tone. I force a smile, & Ed tells her that I am not having a good morning. (Of course, a conversation with a woman at our church, who is a cancer survivor flashes through my head. She told me that she saw every appointment & treatment as an opportunity to be a witness, because she wouldn’t have been there except for having cancer. I thought, “Oh, Patti, what a witness you are today. NOT!”) The nurse tries to cheer me up as she weighs me, draws blood & takes my picture. Can any woman relate to why this will not help to cheer me up? At one point, I make fun of myself in an attempt to pull myself out of the pit. It helps a little. When I meet Dr. Patel, Ed again explains that it is not a good morning for me. I come right out &, politely but bluntly, tell him that I am angry. He tells me that it is quite common for cancer patients to go through the stages of grief after learning they have cancer. It does not surprise him, in the least, that I am angry. I breathe a sigh of relief. As we talk, the anger dissipates. Thank you, God!

We are VERY impressed with Dr. Patel, the medical oncologist. He is able to explain things in very simple language. He keeps asking us questions to make sure we understand & asking if we have questions. We feel very comfortable asking questions. He also echoes the surgeon’s comment that it was backwards to learn that I have breast cancer by finding a malignant lymph node. He has already laid out a treatment plan for me that includes surgery followed by several sessions of chemotherapy, then several sessions of radiation & 5 years of hormonal therapy. However, before he will proceed with the plan, he wants me to have a P.E.T. scan done to check the lymph nodes in the center of my chest & the 2 nodules on my lungs. Even though they are less than 1 cm & he does not think they are malignant, he wants to be sure, rather than wait 6 months, as recommended by the radiologist who read the CT scan in Sept. We had planned to ask about this. Thank you, God.

Next, we meet with the radiology oncologist. These 2 appointments take 4 hours! We learn a lot more about cancer!

The next day Lisa has her 3rd ultra sound. Praise God! What was showing on the ultra sound a week ago is almost gone, when they do the ultra sound at UVA. The doctor also tells her & Dave that she does not have any of the symptoms that usually accompany the condition they were told their baby has. Based on the new ultra sound, he says he cannot give them 100% guarantee, but he feels very confident that their baby is just fine. Praise God! I call the prayer line at church to pass along the praise that baby Cassidy is OK.

Saturday night Ed & I went with Dave & Lisa to the Thomas Road Baptist Church’s 2007 Virginia Christmas Spectacular. It is exactly that – SPECTACULAR! It is more than just the performance. For me, the presence of God is very, very real. One part of the program is a mix of biblical accounts acted out & a narrator speaking to the audience. During one scene Jesus heals a woman who touches him from behind, & he calls her by name. The narrator then talks to the audience about Jesus calling us by name. I can’t recall all of the details because God is speaking to me at the time. He says, “Patti, I am the God that healeth thee, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet.” I am kind of dumbfounded. God repeats the same message. I say, “Thank you, God!” Shortly after that He says, “Cassidy is 100% whole, too.” Since, by that time, we are standing to sing, I reach over & grab Lisa & hug her & tell her what God had just told me about Cassidy. We both hug each other & cry tears of joy!

When we get to the car, I am like an over-excited child. I tell everyone to be quiet, I have something exciting to tell them; I share what God has told me. I explain when it was God said this & that he repeated it. I say, "God told me, 'Patti, I am the Lord that healeth thee, from the top of your head to the soles of your feet.' Now, I don’t think in King James English; so, I don’t think it was my own thought or that I made it up. I trust it was from God. ("I am the Lord that healeth thee" is the last phrase of Exodus 15:26 KJV.) They believe me, but they don't know exactly what to say. They are probably as awe struck as I am. We are at a Christmas production not a healing service. I think it’s Dave who asks if I have any idea when or how God is going to heal me. I say that I really don’t know exactly how or when He will heal me, but I believe He will, because God does not lie. I also believe this means He will heal me of my ulcerative colitis as well as the cancer, if He is going to heal me "from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.” WOW! God is AWESOME!

Of course, I have to share with Ed & Dave that God also told me that "Cassidy is 100% whole!" What a SPECTACULAR night!

I have a discussion about this later with Dave, who is a Liberty University seminary student. Based on what God impressed on me & what he investigated in biblical accounts of God's healing of believers, I’m not expecting a miraculous, instantaneous healing. I believe it will come over time. I expect God to lead me on a journey to the physical healing He intends to bring into my life. I need to be obedient to God's leading & to the instructions of my doctors. I believe a part of the healing will come through the wisdom God gives to my doctors, as they treat me. Another will be God's working through our prayers & the prayers of the people who pray for me. I am still in awe of & humbled by how many people regularly pray for me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, if you are one of them & you are reading this! May God richly bless you & meet the needs of your life.

This picture was taken shortly after Cassidy's birth, 3:15pm, April 12, 2008. She is 100% whole, just as God promised!

Ch 7 – The Waiting Game

2010-07-20T15:19:00.000-07:00

Original post 4/4/08

After the Spectacular weekend, I have to return to an ordinary week. Wednesday morning, I receive a call from the Breast Health Center to let me know that my genetic test results have come back; this is only 2½ weeks after we sent the request & tissue sample. Thank you, God! My cancer is not genetic. That is not so ordinary!

I go by myself, for blood work, for the 3rd time in a week, to “verify the accuracy of the results of the blood work a week ago,” at Dr. Patel’s office. The nurse draws the blood & packages it to send it out to an independent lab. I ask if she can tell me what is going on or if she can find someone who can tell me. She leaves & came back with Dr. Patel. He explains that a tumor marker in my blood is elevated; it should be about 40; it is 211. This may mean that I have cancer cells circulating in my blood stream that might metastasize to other parts of my body. The independent lab will analyze the blood drawn to determine whether or not this is the case, since the local hospital does not have the lab equipment to do this test. He will discuss the results at my next appointment.

When I get into my car I ask myself, “Why did I come by myself?” Then God reminds me that He promised me “this is not a death sentence.” As soon as I am reminded of this, I say to the enemy, “You’re not going to steal my peace!” I turn on our local Christian radio station & drive home singing & reminding the enemy a few more times that he is not going to steal my peace.

The next day was the P.E.T. scan, at 8am. The day before the scan you eat a high protein, low carb diet. 2 hours before the scan you drink 32 oz. of water, then you are injected with radioactive glucose; you wait for about 20 min. & are then scanned like a CT scan. Cancer cells are gluttons for sugar & absorb any form of sugar/glucose about 5 times faster than healthy cells; therefore, the cancer cells suck up the glucose, & they show up as “metabolic activity,” in different colors, which indicate the intensity of activity, where there is a high enough concentration of cancer cells that can be detected by the scanning equipment. As a result, we will now know where I have cancer cells.

The next day, Dec. 14th, I meet with Dr. Pam to discuss what I can do about my non-stop migraines. Ever since I finished the HRT they increased in frequency & severity. I am waking up every morning with a migraine, & I am still teaching 4 days a week. (Because of my history of migraines, I am never scheduled to teach a class earlier than 11am.) I bring her up to date & make sure she has copies of all my test results. She tells me she can prescribe a new medicine that may be more effective in treating the migraines. (I also make sure I put in a prayer request, on Sunday, at church, for my non-stop migraines.)

We ask her to arrange a second opinion appointment at Geisinger for us, since we have been urged by numerous friends to seek a second opinion. I also ask if she was aware of any doctor who can advise me in terms of nutrition &/or supplements to keep my immune system strong as I undergo cancer treatment. She gives me the name of Dr. Powers, who is a radiology oncologist & also runs the Powers Clinic for this specific purpose.

I tell her about the P.E.T. scan & my concern over another cancer. She says that people often get 2 different cancers in a lifetime, but the chance of having 2 different cancers at the same time is remote. She does not think it is likely that I will find the lymph nodes or nodules on the lungs are malignant. I hoped she is right. She even tries calling the hospital to get the results, but they are not yet recorded on the system. I will have to wait until our scheduled appointment with Dr. Patel, on the 27th. That’s an awful long time to wait!

Let me explain our impatience over the lengthy delay in getting to the final diagnosis & treatment by explaining the rate of growth of cancer cells. It takes 23 to 209 days for a tumor to double in size. Doubling, of course, means 1 cell becomes 2; 2 become 4; 4 become 8; 8 become 16; etc. . . . The average growth rate is approximately 100 days between doubling in size of the tumor. At this rate, it takes approximately 6 – 9 years for a tumor to reach 1 centimeter. It takes approx. 1 billion cells to form a 1 cm breast tumor. On average, most cancers have been around for 6 to 10 years before they can be felt as a lump or seen on a mammogram.

I had a 2cm breast biopsy of mere calcifications that was malignant, with no breast lump, & I know the surgeon did not get clean margins. There are still cancer cells in the breast tissue. The lymph node biopsy was over 2cm. The surgeon had a difficult time finding the lymph node; it was not a well defined, hard lump. I knew where it was because it hurt when I pushed on it. Before they put me under for surgery, the surgeon came in & asked me to help him find it; he used a permanent marker to mark the spot; then they put me out. How did I know whether or not there were more malignant lymph nodes? From mid-July to Thanksgiving was more than 100 days. We knew that any cancer cells not removed by the 2 biopsies had, by now, doubled in number, & we are not talking tens, hundreds, or even thousands of cancer cells doubling. We were guessing we’re talking billions!

Can you see why we think surgery & starting treatment is urgent? But we know we have to trust God, while letting the doctors know we are very concerned about the seemingly slow pace of the process. Whether we like it or not, we have to check out every possibility. A wrong decision could jeopardize my life.

Ch 8 – Stave IV Cancer & Still Praising God

2010-07-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

Original post 4/16/08

The technician who did the PET scan told me it would take 24 - 48 hours for the radiologist to read the scan, write the results into a report for the oncologist & record it on the hospital system. I was sure I could get the results by Mon., Dec. 17th; so, I called Dr. Patel’s office. They weren’t available. I tried again Tuesday. Still I had no luck.

Both days we had family & friends calling, sending emails & asking us in person if we knew the results yet. We are frustrated & getting very anxious. Wednesday, Ed & I decide to double our efforts; I call Dr. Patel’s office & he calls the Breast Health Center. We wait to see which one of us will get a call back 1st. Ed wins. The nurse tells him the PET scan shows some activity & that Dr. Patel wants me to come to his other office, which is an additional 1/2 drive from our home, the next day. She makes it sound rather casual & minor so that we assume he probably is bringing me in to tell me that he wants to run some other test before next week’s appointment.

Ed has a busy day at the college that includes a couple of important meetings. I tell him that I will be fine to go by myself & insist that he stay & attend the meetings. He isn’t keen on the idea of me going by myself & repeats that he can arrange to take me to the appointment. I insist that he stay at the college. As I think it over, I decide that it will be better to have someone go with me, to take notes. I do have a tendency to forget some details when I have to recount 30 – 60 minutes spent talking with a doctor. If someone else takes some notes, I can reconstruct the conversation pretty well.

(You are wondering how I have written my story & blogs, aren’t you? The appointments are marked on a calendar; we have a notebook with notes from every appointment; & I have emails I’ve sent to family & friends over these several months. These are all great references.)

I call a friend who is a nurse who had offered to go with me to appointments, but she is out of town. My sister, Jennifer, just happen to call to see if I am at home, because she has something she needs to drop off to me. When she arrives, her 2 daughters, Hannah & Lydia, are with her. Lydia meets me first, with a big grin on her face, & she holds out a handful of handmade cards. Her second grade class has made get well cards for me! I nearly cried! It is so awesome! I read each one. They all address me as Aunt Patti, which I think is so sweet. They drew lots of hearts & flowers, both of which I love! I will keep them forever. For many weeks, I show them to everyone who comes to visit. After raving about the cards, I tell Jennifer about my appointment with Dr. Patel the next day. She says she is available to take me.

Thursday morning, I stop at Meadowbrook Christian School, where my nieces attend & Jennifer is volunteering that morning, to pick her up. I tell her that I typed up a list of questions & left room for her to write Dr. Patel’s answers. I have never been to this office before; so, I have done a map quest to locate it. We can’t find a sign for the street we are supposed to turn onto; we make an educated guess & find the office with little trouble. Thanks God!

When we see Dr. Patel, I introduce him to Jennifer. She has the list of questions & her pen all ready to fill in the answers, until he announces the results of the PET scan. At that point, she immediately flips the list of questions over & starts writing on the back, which was blank. His 1st statement is, “The PET scan shows intense activity.” I am thinking, ‘This is not what the nurse told Ed yesterday!’ Dr. Patel explains further that I have stage IV metastatic cancer. I have WHAT? (F.Y.I. 1” = about 2.5cm) There is another 2.3cm of breast tissue that is malignant; 4 more lymph nodes under my left arm are malignant, the largest is 3.2cm; multiple lymph nodes in the mediastimun (area behind & around the breastbone) are malignant; there are small nodules on each lung that are malignant. When this scan was done it was a combination CT/PET scan. The radiologist noted that when comparing it with the CT scan in September to this scan, the malignant lymph nodes & nodules on the lungs have increased in size & new spots have appeared that were not evident in September. Dr. Patel says that most of the lymph nodes are less than 1 cm. I find it interesting that 4 physicians, 2 oncologists & 2 physician’s assistants have physically examined my breasts & arm pits for tumors & never found any. The only one I found was the one that was biopsied, only because it caused shoulder pain. That’s what sent me to the doctor in the first place. I thank God the cancer went to that lymph node to alert me to the fact that something was wrong, & I thank God that I did not ignore the pain!

Now What? My head is reeling! My peace is teetering! I am sending up an S.O.S. prayer. I try to maintain my composure so I can ask questions. Jenn is trying to make sure she is getting notes written down accurately; so, she asks questions to clarify Dr. Patel’s statements & explanations. I can tell that Jenn is also shaken by this unexpected news, & it is making her rather nervous. As Dr. Patel repeats something, it either helps me to get it straight or gives me time to think. There is so much in this PET scan report! I ask if I can have a copy of it. Dr. Patel goes to find a nurse to ask her to make a copy. When he steps out, I grab my head & want to collapse & cry. I am shaking, but I take a BIG, DEEP breath & say aloud, “I can’t let the enemy steal my peace! I can’t let the enemy steal my peace!” Jenn reassures me, “That’s right!” I know she would like to say more but is too overwhelmed by what she has just heard to put her feelings into words. I also state that God has told me at the very beginning that “this is not a death sentence, and I know God doesn’t lie.” I tell Jenn, “I would have been so stupid to come to this appointment alone!” I also tell her that I am glad I have a family member with me for an appointment like this! However, she tells me she doesn’t want to go to any more appointments with me. I can understand her not wanting to go on that kind of appointment, because I would prefer not to go to this kind of appointment again. However, I know she loves me & would do anything I ask her to do. It is very hard when you are blindsided, as we are this day, to react in the way you think you will, in this kind of unexpected situation.

When Dr. Patel returns, I think he ask if I am OK. I want to know, “What does this mean?” There is a fleeting thought of life expectancy, but a stronger plea for ‘what can you do to help me survive?’ which my question does not express very well. He says that he knows he already dropped a ton of bricks on me & does not want to discuss that at this time. His follow-up leads me to believe that he took my question & pleading look to mean, how long will I live, because he says that we will discuss more at our appointment next week. I seem to remember him making some reference to his reason for not discussing life expectancy, because I think I remember telling him that God told me, before I got the results of the first biopsy, that the biopsy is malignant but the cancer is not a death sentence. He affirmed my positive attitude & outlook.

Surgery, which had been tentatively scheduled for January 8th, is off & so is the radiation. Instead, I am to have a MUGA scan done the next week, to be sure my heart is strong enough to handle chemotherapy.

I have done some reading & ask if Dr. Patel recommends a PIC line or mediport, so I will not have to have an IV put in each time I have a chemo treatment. He tells me a PIC line is just asking for trouble. He has already scheduled an appointment for a mediport to be inserted next week, so chemo therapy can begin the 1st week of January.

All of a sudden, things seem to be moving too fast, & Ed isn’t there to say, “OK, let’s go, or hold on; we have some more questions; this is moving too fast.” As much as we have wanted things to move a little faster, this is more than a little scary! I just learned, less than half an hour ago, that my cancer has metastasized & is stage IV. I need time to think, talk this over with Ed, & time to get the 2nd opinion we were seeking.

I ask if I can see the actual PET scan on the computer screen. Dr. Patel goes to set it up for us. While he does this, I tell Jenn about my experience at the VA Christmas Spectacular when God told me, “I am the God that healeth thee from the top of your head to the soles of your feet.” As much as I want her to know this & to find some peace in knowing it, I need to remind myself. It helps bring my focus back onto God, His promise & His ability to help me through tough times; I am able to reconnect with the peace that comes from Him.

We look at the scan. The middle of my chest looks like someone painted black polka dots all over it. (I later learned that the radiologist sees a color version of the scan. Specific colors indicate whether or not a site is malignant. If it is cancerous, the color indicates the intensity of the metabolic activity at each site.) It satisfies my curiosity, but is a little unsettling, at the same time. While we wait for the receptionist to schedule appointments, I ask Jenn if she will call Ed & fill him in on some of the information we learned at this appointment. Of course, he is shocked & says he will be home as soon as his last meeting is over; he asks Jenn to drive me all the way home!

As we leave, I ask Jenn if she would mind taking me to 2 stores to pick up 2 Christmas presents that I cannot find at the mall closer to home. She agrees. Then I ask if we can stop for some lunch; I am starved. She is a little taken back by my side-trip. It helps me to keep things in their proper perspective. My grandson & unborn granddaughter, for whom I am buying the Christmas gifts, are much more important than the pity party I could have for myself that afternoon. Worrying & fretting cannot change the diagnosis, & God is in control of the outcome.

Jenn tells me later that she called Ed, after she dropped me off at the mall door & went to park the car, to make sure he isn’t, in her words, “freaking out,” after he had a little time for the news to sink in. He isn’t; he is just anxious to get home so the 2 of us can talk about the appointment together.

When we get back to MCS, I tell Jenn I can drive home. She tells me she promised Ed she will drive me all the way home. I assured her that I can drive the rest of the way home. She is convinced by my shopping trip & stop for lunch that I am able to do so. She later tells me that she commented to persons, who inquired, upon her return, that I was amazingly calm. I can’t say it is because I am naturally a calm person who can handle devastating news. On the contrary (just ask my family), I am able to handle this because God gives me a “peace that transcends understanding.” I don’t even understand it, but I PRAISE GOD FOR IT!

Ch 9 – Diagnosis Domino Effect

2010-07-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

Original post 5/2/08

Ed arrived home before me, after my Thursday appointment, and wondered why I wasn’t home yet. He called my cell phone & found that I was almost home.

Since he knows me better than anyone else, he is expecting me to be very upset. He thinks I am “amazingly calm.” Again, I give the credit to God’s “peace that transcends understanding.” I'm not in denial; I know the facts, but I also know what God promised & that he does not lie. However, I readily welcome Ed’s reassuring embrace! I tell him that I am planning on being around for a long time, since God has told me that this is not a death sentence.

Ed & I go over the notes from the appointment. Jennifer did such a good job of taking notes & asking clarifying questions that I am able to use her notes to explain everything to him.

This diagnosis set up a domino effect. Several other things need to happen & happen very fast, if we are going to follow Dr. Patel’s new plan & begin chemotherapy the 1st week of January! We have so many things to take care of that it is a good thing that the semester has ended at the college!

We talk about the 2nd opinion appointment, at Geisinger. It needs to be rescheduled for an earlier date & with an oncologist, not a surgeon; so, I call the office of the surgeon. The nurse or receptionist who answers was very understanding & helpful. She calls oncology for me, makes the appointment, & calls me back within 15 minutes, with an appointment, with an oncologist, Monday Dec. 24th. She then tells me she will immediately forward all of the medical records she has already received & call the hospital that did my PET scan to ask to have it sent by FedEx to the oncologist. (Wow! Thank you God for having this woman answer my call!) Not long after that call, I receive another call, telling me I can pick up a CD & the written report of the PET scan, by noon Saturday, to take with us Monday. I can’t believe how quickly this all happens! Thank you God!

Although we are very comfortable in working with Dr. Patel, we have been urged, by numerous people, to get a 2nd opinion. We think it will be wise to heed their advice. We are only beginning to learn about cancer & available treatment options. The individuals most persistent about our seeking a 2nd opinion are those who work in the medical field, who have dealt with cancer or both.

We also need to put an appointment with Dr. Powers on our ASAP list. Dr. Powers is a full–time radiology oncologist; Wednesdays he runs the Powers Clinic to treat patients with alternative medicine – primarily nutrition & nutritional supplements, rather than additional drugs & chemicals. He is the doctor Dr. Pam told me could help me to strengthen my immune system & help me to tolerate chemotherapy better, without interfering with the effectiveness of my treatment. I am especially concerned about chemotherapy, because I have ulcerative colitis, which we are sure will be a complication, if I am to undergo chemotherapy.

Ed contacts his office. He is told that I need to fill out several medical history & information forms & sign consent forms so that Dr. Powers can access my medical records. Upon receiving my completed paperwork, it will be 3 weeks before his office will contact me to schedule an appointment at the Powers Clinic. If I am to start chemotherapy the 1st week of January, we need to get on this right away! The receptionist emails the forms to me so I can begin filling them out immediately. I can drop them off at the office Dec. 26th.

I remember making a remark to Ed about the fact that I am still baffled by the fact that I have gone every year for a mammogram & have taken care of myself so that I thought my risk of developing breast cancer was low. In the past few years, after the kids were on their own, I have become more lax about my diet & exercise, but the cancer did not develop in just the past few years. Growing up, I was always very active & ate a reasonably healthy diet. In 1981, I started learning about nutrition & supplements & made major changes to our family’s diet. I even taught aerobics & included some instruction on nutrition as a part of the class. Some would have called me a health nut.

When I had my yearly mammograms, as I waited for the x-ray technician, I read the check list on the wall & reassured myself that my risk for breast cancer is low. Now, here I am with stage IV metastasized breast cancer, & I never had a detectable breast lump or even a shadow on an x-ray. I just don’t understand it. It is even more amazing to think that this was silently going on inside my body for 8–10 years!

I have to stop this train of thought. I cannot do anything change my current diagnosis. Looking backwards is counterproductive. Looking forward is my only choice. I’m sure God has a plan & purpose in all of this. He could have stopped the cancer or revealed it sooner, but He’s chosen to allow it to continue, undetected, until now. I trust He will provide for my needs, as I travel this journey.

We, of course, talk about our mortality. After my auto accident, in 1999, I was very aware of the fact that every day is a gift! We know that no one is guaranteed tomorrow, & neither of us wants to live alone without the other.

We talk, in generalities, about “couples with one spouse who has a terminal disease.” This is a safe way to make sure we are on the same page in our thinking. It’s also a safe way to say, “What if I’m wrong about beating the cancer & living a long time; what would I want to do?” I know the possibility exists that I could be wrong, & I know that I do not know God’s definition of “long” life, for me specifically. I take it literally. I trust God, & I trust that He spoke to me in a way that I recognized His voice as His voice. I think if His meaning was different than the way I took it, He would adjust my thinking.

Ed & I had already talked about travelling more & have scheduled some vacations for the coming year. We briefly discuss a few more destinations we might schedule, which we have been putting off. I am hesitant to schedule any more vacations until I know the chemotherapy schedule. Because my cancer was now classified as stage IV, I was just guessing that I might have to go through more cycles than when we thought that I was either stage I or II & would have chemotherapy after surgery.

As we talk, I am so aware of just why I love Ed & why I married him. He is so thoughtful & caring. He is very sensitive & puts my needs & desires ahead of his own. Thank you God, for this wonderful man!

The kids are coming home for Christmas, but we can’t wait until they come home to tell them about this diagnosis. This is the most difficult round of calls to make & for them to get. I think they are more shocked, as we were, by the diagnosis of metastasized, stage IV breast cancer than by the original diagnosis of breast cancer. We answer as many of their questions as we can & invite them to go with us to the doctors’ appointments next week.

We are glad that we will be together, as a family, for a longer period of time, over Christmas. If they are unable to go with us, they can still contribute to our list of questions to ask when we meet with each of the doctors.

All of this is exhausting! We are so looking forward to relaxing & spending quality time with the kids!

Lisa & Dave came home Friday night & brought me a thoughtful gift book titled What Cancer Cannot Do. It is a small book packed with a ton of encouragement. It was written by a woman who has had 3 types of cancer & recurrences. It has 3 or 4, two-page readings under the following 10 headings:

Cancer is so limited it cannot: cripple God’s love; shatter hope; corrode faith; destroy peace; kill friendship; shut out memories; silence courage; invade the soul; steal eternal life; or conquer the spirit.

I picked it up & read it as often as I can, so that I finish it in 2 days. I think there should be several copies of it in every oncologist’s waiting room. (It’s also a good gift idea for anyone you know with cancer. If you have cancer buy one for yourself.)

With all that was going on over the past few months, I never went shopping on my own; therefore, I had not bought Ed any Christmas gifts. When the mall is really crowded I need to go with someone; I really dislike going alone (It’s a brain injury thing)! Adding last-minute time pressure to the crowds only increased my anxiety. Over the weekend, Kristy, Lisa & Dave took me shopping, & they were a tremendous help!
Kristy also offers to cook Christmas dinner for all of us.
Steven calls on Sunday to let us know that he & Kelly want to go with us to the 2nd opinion appointment Monday morning. Dave & Lisa say they will watch Parker.
The dominos are beginning to line up!
We look forward to Christmas, & we look forward to next week’s appointments, when we can get more questions answered. Getting treatment started as soon as possible is important to us, but I am very concerned about how my body will handle chemotherapy.

Several weeks earlier, we had decided that I would not teach in the spring semester. It was hard to agree to take the semester off, but I knew it was the right thing to do. It is foolish to think that I can teach while undergoing chemotherapy! We are also hoping chemotherapy will not increase the intensity of my migraines. Instead, we hope the reduced stress of not teaching will decrease the number & severity of my migraines. (At this point in time, it is a rare day that I awake without a migraine.) I think about the free time I will have between treatments as a gift from God. I prayed that the length of time I feel well will be long enough that I can complete some projects that I have put off because I did not have the time to do them while I was teaching. With a granddaughter on the way, I am hoping the timing of my treatments will be such that I will be able to go to Lisa’s, prior to her due date, & stay to help out for at least the 1st week after Cassidy’s birth. I am also hoping I will be able to spend some more time with my grandson, Parker. In addition to these things, I have special projects I want to complete for each of the kids that will create lasting memories. Giving up teaching to be sick doesn’t sound so great, but trading it to spend time with my family & doing special things for them is a really sweet trade-off! I just have to trust God to minimize the sick part so I can maximize the family part.

I have so much to be thankful for. Praise God for my wonderful family!

Ch 10 – Second Opinion

2010-07-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

Original post 5/6/08

We meet Dr. Khalil, Mon. Dec. 24th. After introductions, relating some medical history, recounting the events that led to my diagnosis, & a physical exam, we learn more new information.

Dr. Khalil attempted to bring up my PET scan on the computer in the exam room but is unable to do so. He says he will have radiology bring it up later that day so he could look at it; the written report is so detailed that he is able to see the extent of the metastases of my cancer from this report. He starts by telling us that there is a “standard of care” for stage I and stage II cancer, but there is no “standard of care” for stage III or stage IV cancer.

We tell him Dr. Patel told me the mastectomy surgery, which had been scheduled for early January, is off. He recommends chemotherapy. I am scheduled to have a mediport inserted Thursday, so that I can begin chemotherapy the 1st week of January.

Dr. Khalil says there is no right or wrong approach; there are merely different approaches to treating stage III & stage IV cancer. With this in mind, we ask what he would recommend. He shares his recommendations but also tells us that they are subject to change based on a more comprehensive review of my medical records, since he did not have a chance to review them, in detail, prior to meeting with us.

To summarize, he says he would add the drug avastin to the chemotherapy. It is a newer drug, which some oncologists are not comfortable using because they do not think there is enough data to support its use. He is comfortable with the amount of data available & with the results he has seen, as he has used it with his patients. It is a target therapy drug; however, he is concerned over whether or not I am a good candidate for this therapy, given my history of ulcerative colitis & some possible side effects of the avastin. If a further review of my medical records shows I am a poor candidate for avastin, his 2nd recommendation is hormonal therapy, since my cancer is hormone receptor positive. We have never heard of this before; so, he briefly explains it to us. (Even though I had my ovaries removed, when I had a hysterectomy, & I stopped the HRT [hormone replacement therapy], my adrenal glands & fat tissue still produce some estrogen. My cancer is estrogen receptor positive, which means estrogen stimulates the growth of the cancer). A drug that lowers the production of estrogen is used. I ask how hormone therapy kills the cancer, & Dr. Khalil explains that it starves the cancer. That makes some sense. He goes on to say that if we lived in Europe this is where we would start, with therapy & use chemotherapy as the back-up, if & when the hormonal therapy failed; in the United States we start with chemotherapy & follow-up with hormonal therapy to prevent reoccurrence.

Steven asks Dr. Khalil what my chances of survival are. He does not want to answer this question, because the statistics encompass such a broad spectrum of cases, over a long span of time & include patients of a wide age span. However, Steven explains that he is very aware of the nature of statistics & presses him for an answer. After some give & take, Dr. Khalil concedes & says that “statistically,” I have about a 20% chance of surviving longer than 5 years. I see the color drain from Steven’s face, as he tries to hide his emotion. (Actually, I later read medical research articles about my type & stage of cancer & find that Dr. Khalil doubled the upper end number. In the research, the statistics are a survival rate of 5–10% after 5 years.)
Ed asks Dr. Khalil what I can do to increase my odds of living longer.
Throughout our time together, I notice that Dr. Khalil is very observant of our interactions between each other & with him. He is very friendly, & we feel very free to express our true thoughts & feelings. I think he creates a very comfortable atmosphere. We share with him that we are Christians & that we support one another as a family & that we have a strong support network both at work & within our church family. He tells us that he is also a Christian & explains that he can see that we are supportive of one another. He expresses how important a strong network of support is for a cancer patient. He also was impressed by my positive spirit & my ability to give him direct eye contact as I speak with him & answer his questions. He talks about what a great benefit this is for me, along with my faith. I tell him that I have more than a thousand people praying for me, & he tells me not to forget to pray for myself & to pray for my doctor to have wisdom to know how to treat my cancer.
I tell him that I did do this.
He says because we are Christians he will tell us a story. He asks if we know the story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. We do. He says, “When Jesus arrived at Lazarus’ tomb he asked to have the stone taken away before he raised Lazarus, even though Jesus was able to move the stone. He didn’t need anyone to move the stone, but he asked the onlookers to participate in the miracle He was about to perform.” Dr. Khalil impresses upon us that Jesus sometimes asks us to participate in the work He is doing in our lives.
To this end, Dr. Khalil recommends that I do everything my doctors tell me to do.
He, also, recommends that I get regular exercise, such as walking 20 minutes every day.
Dr. Khalil tells us he will review my medical records, in more detail, & call me if he sees anything that changes his mind, with regard to his recommendations.
I ask him if he will call Dr. Patel & speak with him about his recommendations, & he assures me he will.

On our way out of the building, I can still see the deep concern on Steven’s face. Speaking the words aloud to him will be the reminder to me that I need. I tell him that God has told me this isn’t a death sentence, & God doesn’t lie. I plan on being around for Parker’s graduation from grade school, high school & college. I also plan on being around when he gets married.

Steven’s response is, “I hope so.” I certainly can understand this response. He has not had the personal encounters with God that I have had that have given me a “peace that transcends understanding.” Some things “rock the peaceful boat,” but it never overturns. Praise God! I hope & pray that God will give Steve a sense of His peace that I will survive for a long time.
I also reassure Steven by promising, “I will do anything the doctors tell me I need to do!”
We did learn a lot of new information to share with Dave & Lisa & with Kristy when we returned home.
Steven & Kelly left for home later in the afternoon.
Dave & Lisa have to leave as soon as we get home, for another family commitment; so, we do not get to fill them in on the details, of the appointment, until later that evening.

As I am telling Kristy about the appointment, I realize that she doesn’t quite realize the severity of stage IV cancer that has metastasized. I told her that Steven asked Dr. Khalil about my chances of survival & the give & take that took place, before he finally gave a percentage. I tell her that he said there is about a 20% chance I will survive more than 5 years, but I quickly add that God has told me this is not a death sentence. And God doesn’t lie. We both well up with tears & hug one another. I tell her I am going to make it, & she said she knows I will.

This is one of the hardest times as a parent – helping my children trust God when the situation looks hopeless to them, when my “peaceful boat of hope is rocking in some turbulence.” We learn difficult facts – we want our children to know the facts, but we don’t want them to live in fear. God’s given me peace & hope for the future; I want my children to experience it too. I can’t give them peace, but I can offer them hope. I want to hold out God’s hope in the situation; I pray they will grab onto it tightly & never let go of it. As they hold onto hope, I pray they will also begin to experience God’s peace.

Going to the Christmas Eve service with Ed, Dave, Lisa & Kristy is enjoyable & a much needed distraction, even though I remember having to force myself to go. (I guess I was on emotional overload.)

Upon returning home, we see the message light flashing on our phone. When Ed checks it, he finds that Dr. Khalil called right after we left for church. He looked over my records after his appointments were over & noticed something he wants to talk to me about. He says he will call me back first thing Wednesday morning, since he knows I have an appointment with Dr. Patel Friday afternoon. Of course, we wonder, what was he going to tell us?

When we have the opportunity to talk with Dave & Lisa about the appointment, Lisa wants to know more about hormone therapy. She does an internet search. This helps us to learn more information & to formulate questions for our appointment with Dr. Patel. There are 2 types of hormone treatment, but we need some further clarification. As Dr. Khalil explained, hormone therapy can be used after chemotherapy, to prevent reoccurrence, or it can be used 1st, & chemotherapy is saved as a back-up, to be used if & when hormone therapy fails. She also looks up information on ulcerative colitis & colon cancer to see how it is treated. Is it treated with chemotherapy? We wonder, is my immune system able to withstand chemotherapy? We come up with several other questions. This research & questioning is really good preparation for the Friday appointment.

Early Wednesday morning, Dec. 26th, Dr. Khalil calls to tell me that in reviewing my medical records, in more detail, it is apparent that my ulcerative colitis is worse than he thought it was. I am not a candidate for avastin. In fact, I am not a good candidate for chemotherapy, due to the extent of my ulcerative colitis. This makes my immune system too vulnerable; I would probably not be able to tolerate chemotherapy. In his opinion, I am a much better candidate for hormonal therapy.

I thank him for everything he has done & ask if he has called Dr. Patel or if he is going to call him. He says he is going to call him right after he hangs up from talking with me.

We take the completed pile of medical history, medical release forms & miscellaneous paperwork to Dr. Powers’ office & drop it off that morning.

Next, Ed & I are off to see Dr. Patel, on Friday afternoon. Dave & Lisa are going along on this visit. We have many more questions we want to have answered. Is there even more we can learn? Which form of treatment will I have? Dave & Lisa are praying with us for Dr. Patel to have God’s wisdom to know what is best for me.

Ch 11 – The Big Decision

2010-07-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

Original post 5/12/08

December 26th we dropped off the pile of paperwork I filled out for Dr. Powers, at his office.

As we headed for my appointment with Dr. Patel December 28th, we didn’t know we had a BIG DECISION to make.

Dave & Lisa are going with us to meet with Dr. Patel. The 4 of us are praying that God will give Dr. Patel the wisdom to choose the form of treatment that is right for me. We are prepared for the appointment, with a list of questions.

I introduce Dr. Patel to Dave & Lisa. Then I ask if Dr. Khalil called; he had. We are very anxious to hear about their conversation. Dr. Patel tells us that at the beginning of the conversation Dr. Khalil explained his recommendation of hormonal therapy & his reason for making it was his concern over my compromised immune system, which he did not think would handle chemotherapy, due to my ulcerative colitis. From his description, I would say, Dr. Patel listened respectfully before he responded. He can see his point; however, he explains his reason for advising me to go the route of chemotherapy is based upon the metastases to a vital organ – the lungs. Dr. Patel says they spoke at some length, & by the end of the conversation, they switched positions so that each was arguing for the position opposite of the one he held at the beginning of the call. This makes us think back to what Dr. Khalil told us Monday. Dr. Patel repeats the same statement. “There is no standard of care for stage III or stage IV cancer.”

Dr. Khalil also told us there is not a right or wrong approach, just different approaches to treatment. We are glad we prayed for God to give Dr. Patel wisdom to choose the right treatment. He then tells us the pros & cons of the 2 options, which I will try to summarize.

Chemotherapy of 8 cycles, with a PET scan every 6 weeks, to monitor the progress of the chemotherapy. This means 6 months of chemotherapy. If we go with chemotherapy, it can make a big difference, very quickly, in terms of killing the cancer, but it also has many nasty side effects. I lose my hair, which is usually most traumatic for females. I get sick with each treatment, but there are drugs to control the illness. Blood cell counts are checked prior to administering each chemotherapy treatment. If my white blood cell count drops too low, treatment is delayed, this extends the total treatment time. In addition, there is a lifetime limit of both chemotherapy drugs & radiation treatments that can be administered. When I reach my limits, no more can be given.

I tell Dr. Patel I am not worried about losing my hair. I’ve already talked with my stylist about shaving my hair off when it starts to fall out & getting a good quality wig, while I can match it to my hair. I already voluntarily had my hair shaved off, after my auto accident, in 1999. Due to lacerations to my head that required stitches & surgery to reconstruct the bones in my face, which required an incision that was within an inch of ear to ear, across the top of my head, the doctors had chopped off so many chunks of hair that it was better to have the stylist shave it all off than to have her shave off the front half & live with a mullet for the next year & a half. My major concern is how sick I may get from the chemotherapy. I am so concerned; I wonder if it can nearly take my life. Dr. Khalil’s concern reinforced my anxiety. Dr. Patel tells us that he has had chemotherapy patients who have ulcerative colitis, but he cannot tell us the severity of the disease, in any of these cases.

Hormone, or endocrine therapy, as it is also known, requires that I take a pill every day. A PET scan will be done in 6 weeks as a baseline scan & every 3 months afterward, to monitor progress. The baseline scan is not expected to show any improvement over the PET scan completed in early December. In fact, it may be the same or even a little worse. If we use a hormone blocker or an AI (aromatase inhibitor), it will take longer to see results, but it won’t have the side effects of chemotherapy. Dr. Patel warns us that it takes 1 month for the AI to be effective, then it usually takes at least 3 months to see any improvement on the PET scan. He informs us that the side effects are the same as menopause – hot flashes, joint pain, possible personality changes, possibly depression, 10% weight gain, & osteoporosis. Dr. Patel clarifies for us that personality changes will not be major changes. (That’s a relief! I put Ed through enough to adjust to my personality changes resulting from the brain injury sustained in the auto accident, in 1999; I couldn’t bear the thought of putting him through that again. I just praise God for a wonderful husband who loves me despite the fact that I am not exactly the same woman he married.) Dr. Patel indicates that, with this option, we will still have our “ace in the hole” (chemotherapy) or the “big guns” (chemotherapy & radiation), if we need them, in the future. He uses both terms, in the course of our conversation.

As Dr. Patel is talking I am thinking. We had our hearts set on getting results quickly, but the side effects of the hormone therapy cause me less concern than those associated with chemotherapy. I am already dealing with hot flashes, due to stopping the HRT; however, Dr. Patel says they will get worse. I am already at least 10 pounds overweight, & I don’t look forward to further weight gain. Dr. Patel tells me that I am not to go on a diet to lose weight; it is too important that I eat a well-balanced diet to keep my immune system as healthy as possible. If this is the route he recommends, it will take some time for me to mentally adjust to the idea of accepting myself weighing 10% more. God knows how my brain is wired. He will have to help me with this one. Perhaps there is a solution. I’m not prone to depression; I can trust God to help me with this, if it should happen. I take a good quality multivitamin & calcium supplement that I trust will help to protect my bones against osteoporosis.

Ed, Lisa & I ask our questions, during Dr. Patel’s descriptions of the 2 options, to get additional information, as needed. Dr. Patel is very thorough when he describes complicated processes; we are amazed at how easy he makes it to understand them. He explains that the hormone therapy he is referring to is called an AI (aromatase inhibitor). It inhibits my body’s ability to produce estrogen.

At one point, I brought up the fact that my mastectomy surgery was canceled & wonder if it will be rescheduled for a later date, after some treatment has taken place.

He states that I can only have surgery if it is possible to remove all of the cancer. My cancer is too advanced for that to be possible. Having any major surgery would be, to any cancer cells not removed, like pouring gasoline on a fire; it would cause those cancer cells to multiply & spread much more quickly! I was wrong about why surgery causes cancer to rapidly multiply & spread. Dr. Patel addresses this by telling us that most people think the exposure of the cancer cells to oxygen causes this rapid growth. Actually, when the body recovers from surgery it produces chemicals that stimulate the natural healing process, but these same chemicals stimulate the rate of growth of cancer cells.

After telling us about his conversation with Dr, Khalil, the details of both forms of treatment & answering our questions, Dr. Patel explains that my opinion of & attitude toward the form of treatment chosen is crucial to its success. He says if I don’t think chemotherapy or hormone therapy will work, it won’t work. Then he turns to me & asks me which one is my choice. It is really scary to unexpectedly have that much responsibility dropped in my lap! I quickly look at Ed & Lisa & then back at Dr. Patel; I see the same look on their faces as I think is on mine – a big fat question mark. I tell Dr. Patel that we prayed for God to give him the wisdom to choose the treatment that is right for me. Ed & Lisa agree. I did tell him that it is especially hard for me, due to the brain injury, to be put on the spot to answer such a question. I need more time to process what I just heard before I could react with a decision.
Ed asks Dr. Patel what he thinks we should do. He is very evasive.
Dr. Patel explains that he knows we take an active role in educating ourselves about the various aspects of what I am facing; so, he knows we are capable of making the decision. He points out that he is impressed by our supportive family, which he often does not see. Every appointment I bring at least one family member with me, & I always bring a list of questions.

At some point, Lisa asks him what my chances are. He is hesitant to answer but does respond with, “Your mom has a very good chance of living more than 5 years.” He has known me longer & knows me a little better than Dr. Khalil, but I think his positive response is interesting. Dr. Patel has a positive outlook, & I believe he will do everything he knows to do to help me live as long as possible. However, I don’t think he is the kind of person to give false hope either. He is aware of my faith & has heard me state that God told me that this is not a death sentence. Perhaps this is also confirmation that he believes what I have said is true.

Ed finally asks Dr. Patel what he would do if it were his wife or mother, to try to pin him down for a recommendation. After he & Ed go back & forth for some time, Dr. Patel finally says he would choose the hormone therapy.

As I sit there listening, it gives me time to process everything & to pray, so I can feel comfortable making a decision. I realize that Dr. Patel told us his decision when he told us about his phone call with Dr. Khalil. He is now confirming it.

Dr. Patel asks me again if I am able to make a decision or if I want to go home & let him know later what I want to do. I tell him, “I want to go with the hormone therapy.” I look at Ed, & he nods in agreement. I look at Lisa, & she nods in agreement. Dr. Patel asks if we are sure. We look at each other again, & say we are sure. None of us feels any hesitation. It feels right. There is no unrest. I am not nervous. Dr. Patel seems a bit surprised by our sudden ability to be so sure about our decision. He reminds us that it will take longer to see results with hormone therapy. In fact, he reminds us that the first baseline PET scan may even be a little worse than the one in early December. It takes a full month for the AI to be effective in inhibiting the production of estrogen, & I will only be on the AI for 6 weeks when I have the PET scan in February. There usually isn’t any noticeable improvement on a PET scan until an individual is on an AI for 3 months.

We acknowledge that we are aware of these facts, but we are still comfortable with moving in this direction.

After the fact, we realize another reason why Dr. Patel asks us to make THE BIG DECISION. He knew we were in a hurry to get to treatment & to get results quickly. If he made the decision & told us he was recommending hormone therapy, which was going to take one month to begin to work & then another 3 months to show a noticeable difference, he ran the risk of upsetting us due to a further delay. By involving us in the decision-making, he gains our full support. Because we take an active role in educating ourselves, he knows we can analyze the situation. One thing Dr. Patel didn’t count on was our reliance on God’s peace to guide us, & God’s peace was unmistakably present!

Because we have such peace about this choice, we believe it is God’s choice to go with the hormone therapy. Thank you God for your peace that transcends all understanding!

Ch 12 – Migraine Control & Support Treatment

2010-07-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

Original post 5/20/08

Our big decision concerning treatment is made. It actually seems too easy. After all of my anxiety over treatment, it all comes down to taking a tiny pill each day. No surgery. I did not want to have a mastectomy, but I was prepared to do so to save my life. No chemotherapy. I was really scared about how sick I would get. Why did I stress over these things? I know God is in control. He had all the bases covered before I even knew the extent of my disease. (I was not worried about having help; so many people offered to help us, I knew any one of them would be there in a heartbeat to help in any way we expressed we needed help.)

I had no idea there are treatment options besides surgery, chemotherapy & radiation. I learn that there are other alternatives I never would have considered to be forms of treatment for cancer.

I am, for the next week & a half, preoccupied with my migraine headaches that are daily increasing in intensity. By the weekend of Jan. 5th, I have awoken only 3 mornings, in 6 weeks, without a migraine. It is so frustrating to go through my prescriptions & my “bag of tricks” to manage the migraines & still have my head throbbing. It definitely affects my disposition negatively, as I attempt to keep going about my daily activities. It’s really hard to maintain a positive attitude & to try to be pleasant to everyone around me. I can’t take it any longer.

Saturday evening, I ask Ed to take me to the ER for pain shots, to kill that day’s migraine. As I am waiting to be seen by a doctor, I am in tears from the pain. From past experience, I know pain shots will finally break the cycle of pain I am experiencing. After 3 injections, the pain is under control & I am sent home to sleep it off.

With the cycle of pain broken, I awake the next morning without a migraine. Thank you God! I make an appointment with Dr. Pam to discuss this problem; so, I will not repeat this cycle. In November, she had prescribed a new medication to take when I got a migraine. 1990 – 91 I tried medications to prevent migraines but found they were ineffective, caused unacceptable side effects, or caused an allergic reaction. Dr. Pam tells me about a newer medication that is now available. The drawback is the fact that she cannot determine the dosage that will work for me. She can give me a starting dosage. Once each week I will increase the dosage, until I find the dosage that is effective in preventing my migraines. I’m willing to try it.

We talk to Dr. Pam to bring her up to date on my PET scan, final diagnosis, 2nd opinion appointment, & choice of treatment. We ask her opinion of our choice to go with hormone therapy. She explains that this is not her area of expertise, but she will do some research on the current, most common practices & pass along her findings to us.

Ed is back for an appointment a couple of weeks later, & Dr. Pam hands him a stack of current research, most of which pertains to treatment of stage IV invasive ductile carcinoma, positive for hormone receptors. It is obvious she narrowed the research to my exact diagnosis. How many doctors do this? While Ed is there, he tells her I am not feeling well & describes my symptoms. She does not like what she hears. She says her office hours are over at 2:30, & he should bring me back at that time. Dr. Pam is a gem!

Ed stops at home before going back to work. He gives me the research & tells me to be ready to go to see her at 2:30.

I read through the research & find that every article recommends hormone therapy over chemotherapy. Thank you, God, for the medical confirmation of our choice.

Dr. Pam is not surprised when I tell her I read all the research she sent home that morning. She agrees that we made the right choice to go with hormone therapy. This adds to our comfort level with our decision.

Steven had encouraged us to look into clinical trials; so, we asked Dr. Pam if she can help us find clinical trials. It’s already after office hours, but she tells us to go pick up my new prescriptions & come back. She will look up clinical trials, within driving distance, & print them for us. She tells Ed to just knock on the outer office door, when we come back. What doctor does this? We tell her she does not have to do this right away, but she says she is going to be there to catch up on paper work anyway.

Over the next few weeks, I do not have any negative reaction to the new medication to, hopefully, prevent my migraines. They continue, but they are not daily or as severe. This is a welcome relief! They are slowly improving, but I still do not feel they are under control.

Friends had asked us to join them in Florida, for a week or a long weekend, during the 6 weeks they will be staying in Boynton Beach. I told Ed I would like to go, but I cannot make the commitment to buy airline tickets unless my migraines are under control. If I go, I want to enjoy myself, & I don’t want to spoil everyone else’s good time because I have nasty migraines.

January 30th, we have an appointment with Dr. Powers to discuss treatment to strengthen my immune system. We don’t know what to expect. Can he help my ulcerative colitis? Can he help my migraines headaches? We don’t know. How will he strengthen my immune system?

We give Dr. Powers a copy of the PET scan report, which he does not have. I had stated, in a questionnaire I returned to his office Dec. 26th, that my diagnosis is stage IV metastatic breast cancer, but this is the proof. Dr. Powers agrees with our decision to go with hormone therapy. He says my immune system is so compromised, due to my ulcerative colitis, that I cannot handle chemotherapy. In fact, he implies it could cost me my life! He uses much stronger language than Dr. Khalil. This is further confirmation that we made the right decision.

He orders some additional lab tests, recommends taking double my daily, multiple vitamins, 3 other supplements, & he puts me on a very strict low amylose diet.

One supplement he recommends is vitamin C. He says to start with 1,000mg & gradually increase to 4,000mg per day. I, respectfully, tell him that I cannot take supplemental vitamin C, due to my ulcerative colitis; it will cause a flare-up. I know from my reading & from experience.

He suggests that I use Ester C. He went on to explain the role vitamin C can play in killing cancer cells, which sounds wonderful. I am thinking, “I wish I could take extra vitamin C.”

Again, I tell him, respectfully, that I have used Ester C & found that it also causes flare-ups, but I will try it. I want it to work, but I know my past experiences.

I am trying to follow what Dr. Powers is telling us, based on my previous study of nutrition, but he is talking about some information that is foreign to me. I ask some questions. I hope Ed is taking good notes. When I look at the diet sheet, I am shocked! I think, “You’ve got to be kidding!” My impression is that the purpose of this diet is mainly to manage my ulcerative colitis. I cannot eat any grains – no wheat, oats, rye or rice. No root vegetables except onions & garlic. Raw carrots are OK but not cooked. Fruits are OK, except bananas & citrus. Nuts & seeds are OK, except NO peanuts & NO peanut butter. No sugar in any form. No additives that I cannot pronounce.

I’m in a panic! My negative emotions are screaming so loudly that I can’t hear God telling me that He is sufficient to meet all my needs. What am I going to eat for breakfast? Ed tries to help me with ideas. He is very supportive & encouraging. Unfortunately, I’m not in the mood for being encouraged. I’m upset. I don’t care about the sugar, root vegetables or additives. I want my grains & peanut butter back. How am I going to adjust? Why did I make the promise to Steven that I will do ANYTHING my doctors tell me I need to do? There is only one way I can keep my promise, with God’s help!

Ed & I go shopping & carefully think through our meal choices. In fact, we decide we need to eat at home more often, in order to stick with this diet, but every time I open the pantry cupboard, it bothers me to look at items I can no longer eat. I have to remove them.

All the kids came home the weekend of Feb. 9th; so, I cleaned the pantry cupboard & removed everything I cannot eat. I placed a few items in a storage cupboard in the garage to have on hand when they are visiting. I placed the remaining items in a large storage container. When the kids came, I told them to take a shopping bag, fill it with the items they want, & take them home.

It is very hard to adjust to this diet! I need to understand why it was necessary to eat like this to make sense of why I should discipline myself to comply with it & to stick with it.

Right after our appointment with Dr. Powers, I want to know what the supplements he recommended are & what they are intended to treat or to help. Ed’s notes do not say, & I cannot remember if Dr. Powers told us or not. I do a search on the Internet & discover their purposes. Then I do a search to see if I can find anything on the low amylose diet. What I find is interesting, but it does not mention any specific benefits for ulcerative colitis or cancer.

I send an email to his receptionist to ask Dr. Powers for a recommendation of book I can read to give me a general overview of the perspective from which he works. I explain, “He obviously works on a much deeper level than I am familiar with, & I like to understand what I am doing & why I am doing it. I want to know what benefits I can expect.”

It takes a few days to get a reply to this & several other questions I asked; he gives me the name of an author, Patrick Quillin. It takes several search engines & cross-referencing before I find one of the author’s websites www.4nutrition.com. This site contains a wealth of information. As I read this information, I find that 4 chapters of one of his books, Beating Cancer With Nutrition, can be opened & read. I read the executive summary, & I know I want the book.

As I wait for the book to arrive in the mail, I return to the website. This information is the beginning of a new adventure. It provides me with a reason for sticking with the diet, even if I don’t like it. It isn’t just helping to strengthen my immune system or to improve my ulcerative colitis. I can starve the cancer cells by avoiding certain foods. Most of the foods I am not permitted to eat are among them! At this point, I can’t imagine this is possible, but this helps me to begin to buy into the diet. I am still telling everyone how miserable I am on this diet. Surely, I am making everyone else miserable, as they listen to me whine. They sympathize with me, which is what I want at that point, but I’m sure they wish I would stop whining about it, after they hear it once.

If I have strong convictions about a matter, I have a stubborn resolve that helps to keep me motivated & self-disciplined. I’m human. I can get lazy & fail. God reminds me that I’m off track, & He helps me to get back on track. As an avid reader, I know that God uses the knowledge & understanding I gain, through my reading, to instill such strong convictions.

Ch 13 – Adjusting

2010-07-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Original post 5/27/08

A week into the diet, I am feeling hungry all the time. I’m weak, shaky, & tired. I don’t know what to do. I get a couple of migraines that seem to be like those I get if I go too long without eating. To see if I am right, I have a piece of multi-grain toast with my favorite apricot butter on it. I get rid of the headache within 15 minutes.

I send an email to Dr. Powers’ receptionist to ask Dr. Powers what I should do about my constant hunger. Should I add some whole or multi-grains to my diet? The answer is, “No.” I should eat more fruit. Dr. Powers is a very intelligent man, but I do not think he is the best communicator. Prior to meeting him, we heard many amazing stories of people he has helped tremendously. In fact, several people recommended we see him. To be fair, email & 2nd party phone calls are not the best system for communicating with a physician, & I’m a very inquisitive patient.

I know it is important to be proactive in my treatment & learning as much as I can about my disease; this is confirmation of these facts. In the fall, it is hard to come to grips with the fact that I have cancer & do research for myself. I’m glad Ed & the kids are comfortable searching the Internet & reading the information the doctors & the Breast Center gave us so we are always prepared for our appointments with a list of questions. They are always wonderful advocates for me! We make a great team! Thank you God for my family!

By January, I am able to accept responsibility to do everything possible to increase my odds of beating this cancer. I know God is in control of the ultimate outcome, & I know he told me that it is not a death sentence. However, I realize that God expects each of us to care for our bodies. Now that I know mine is not well, I cannot be irresponsible about my diet, exercise & sleeping habits & expect him to miraculously spare my life.

As I struggle with this diet, I direct my anger at Dr. Powers. I wonder if he ever tried to live on it. I did ask him if my body will eventually figure out that it can convert fat cells into energy, which will help to alleviate some of my symptoms. Dr. Powers’ email response says it will, but I can eat more fruit. It’s too bad fruit doesn’t stick with me for very long. Although I’m not unhappy with the 5-pound weight loss, I had different options in mind.

Every time I leave the house, I pack up several snacks (a bottle of water or no-calorie fitness water, a soy-based energy bar, piece of fruit & a bag of mixed nuts, without peanuts).

Eating out is a challenge, too. There are usually only a couple of choices on the menu that fit or come close to fitting my diet. Most restaurants will make modifications or substitutions. A few require me to purchase a side order to replace what I cannot eat.

I try to take the vitamin C Dr. Powers recommended. I take 1,000mg for a few days & don’t have a reaction; so, I take 2,000mg, Feb. 12. I have an immediate reaction. My UC (ulcerative colitis) flares up. When I brush my teeth the next morning, I can’t even touch my gums with my toothbrush! Of course, I didn’t take any more supplemental vitamin C. I emailed Dr. Powers office to tell him that the vitamin C caused my UC to flare up & to ask if the vitamin C caused the tenderness of my gums. His explanation of the tenderness of my gums: “it is a reaction due to latent viruses or a detox reaction,” but I am to keep taking the Vitamin C. I, respectfully, decline to do so, due to the flare-up of the UC.

One bright spot is the fact that my migraines seem to be under control by Valentine’s Day. I am willing to commit to buying airline tickets to Florida. This is an answer to prayer. We book our flight for the end of February. The extra time should mean they will be even better.

The book, Beating Cancer With Nutrition, comes in the mail. I realize that I would not have chosen to purchase this book if I had seen the title on the shelf in the book store. I would have had the wrong impression about the author & purpose of this book. I wouldn’t even have taken it off the shelf to read the back of it. God knew I needed a recommendation from a credible source, if I was to read it.

I am astounded by what I read, & I want to pass along some of what I learned. If you know someone who has cancer, this is a good gift book. I hope my future blogs will whet your appetite for more of the information that it holds.

Kristy started her website www.firstgiving.com/survive February 5th, & I started writing my story 2 weeks later & hyperlinked it in this blog format. She encouraged me to exercise; so, I decided to use my elliptical. I dusted it off & vowed to do 2 miles twice a week. I thought, “I would like to do the 2 miles 3 times a week. Maybe I’ll set that as a goal to work toward.”

I read a few chapters of Beating Cancer With Nutrition & read that cancer cells don’t like oxygen. It is toxic to them – it kills them. Even breathing deeply increases one’s oxygen intake & helps to kill some cancer cells. That was just the motivation I needed. I thought, “So, the cancer cells don’t like oxygen. Well, then I’m going to send them lots more of it! I’m going to do the elliptical 3 times a week instead of 2!” When I don’t feel like getting on the elliptical I remind myself that I have to kill some more cancer cells! It’s not the same as using it to lose weight. The motivation is MUCH stronger!

As I deal with the UC flare-up I also have trouble with more pain than usual in my left knee & right hip. There are days I get out my crutches to get around. I know I have not done anything to injure either joint. Neither joint requires that I use crutches all day long. The intense pain comes & goes. Then my lower back starts to hurt badly. I made an appointment with a chiropractor, which led to a series of appointments over 2 months. I went for a therapeutic massage. I stretch, use moist heat & a back massage cushion. I get some temporary relief, but nothing provides the long-term relief that I expect.

The UC bothers my stomach. I’m used to keeping on hand & carrying with me mints or mint candy for my stomach. Since I cannot have any sugar, I have to find a substitute – sugar free life savers. My stomach is really bothering me. Mints are not enough. I want to head for the antacids every time I eat. The only thing that does not bother my stomach is water.

The week we are to leave for Florida I am miserable. I call Dr. Powers’ office & Dr. Gallagher’s office to ask what they suggest for my UC flare-up. Dr. Gallagher prescribed prednisone for the last flare-up, & Dr. Powers asked to take me off of it in January.

Dr. Powers’ office called to tell me that he did not have a suggestion because this is not his specialty.

Dr. Gallagher’s office called & told me he did not have any openings for an appointment. I should go to the hospital for blood work. What will that tell him? The results show that everything is normal. I decided that I will have to do some reading to figure out what to do with supplements.

We got very good news Feb. 27th, before we left for Florida. February 19th, I had a baseline PET scan. Dr. Patel told us, in December, that the most we could hope for was a scan that was the same as the one in December. We were also told to be prepared for it to possibly be worse, since the AI (aromatase inhibitor) takes a month to be fully effective. When this scan is done it is only 7 weeks after starting the AI. I had made radical changes in my diet, but those changes were made only 3 weeks prior to the scan. Dr. Patel is very excited to tell us that the scan shows slight improvement over the scan in December; this is quite unexpected. We are elated & praising God! We know the results cannot be explained by the medication or diet; they can only be explained as an answer to the consistent prayers that are lifted on my behalf by so many faithful family, friends & strangers. This is so awesome!

We met with Dr. Powers to share these results. He is pleased. I let him know that I purchased & I am reading Beating Cancer With Nutrition. I was getting over my anger with Dr. Powers, as I am beginning to accept this new diet, because of what I am reading. I did suggest that he might discuss, with future patients, the psychological adjustments one must make to the low amylose diet. It may also help to provide some information about the benefits of the diet. I didn’t think a mere diet sheet listing what one can & cannot eat provided a strong reason to comply with it. Dr. Powers thought I made some valid points.

We had a wonderful time in Florida, Feb. 28 – March 4. The weather was beautiful, & it was very relaxing to get away for a few days. I read more of my book on the plane. The new information I am learning is very exciting & helps to answer many of my questions.

When we get back home I finish reading the book. I discover that I should add a few more supplements to my regimen & eliminate milk & cheese from my diet, as these also feed cancer cells & their elimination will help my UC.

Then I turn my attention to seeking information on UC. Dr. Gallagher told me I did not have to eat a special diet for the UC, but what I read says otherwise. I have some more self-imposed adjustments to make in my diet.

March 14 – 21 we were off on spring break. Steven, Kelly & Parker joined us for the first weekend. Lisa & Dave visit us too. We had a great week.

We travelled to Lisa & Dave’s, in Forest, VA, & spent Easter weekend with them. While we are there I asked Lisa if there is a health foods store or vitamin shop we can visit. I am having difficulty finding one of the digestive enzymes that is recommended for my UC. The sales associates are very helpful. The store has several computers customers can use to research conditions, diseases, vitamins, supplements, or health issues. We take full advantage of the computer data bases & the helpful sales associates. I find a digestive enzyme complex with all the enzymes I need in one tablet. I was happy to learn that I can shop at this store online, & the data bases are available online. (www.VitaminShoppe.com)

That weekend, I also purchased another book to research UC further. I learn that the inflammation UC causes in the colon can also manifest in one’s joints. (So this is the reason why I had the unusually painful knee, hip & lower back – referred inflammation.) I learn that I need to increase a couple of the supplements I’m currently taking, to reduce the inflammation my UC medication is not handling. It is especially helpful to learn that it will take 6 weeks to control the UC flare-up with supplements. Now I know what is realistic to expect. I would have expected faster results, & I would have been disappointed when I did not get the results I expected in the time frame I expected. Thank you, God, for leading me to buy this book.

Lisa & I talk about my reading & research. I tell her I don’t want anyone to see this as Patti’s plan to bring about healing or to beat the cancer. I don’t even want anyone to think it is any particular author’s or doctor’s plan. Although I often say, “I’m going to beat this cancer & beat it with a big stick!” I’m really letting people know that I’m going to continue to be aggressive & to be proactive. I am fully aware that God is in control of the final outcome. I just have the special privilege of knowing this is not a death sentence. As I said earlier, I know I must be responsible in how I take care of myself. I believe God has led us as we have chosen books & Internet sites to read. He has helped us, as a family, to ask good questions. I believe he has led me in choosing supplements & making food choices.

Over time, I have adjusted to this new diet. Today, it does not bother me to see other people eat foods I cannot eat. I’ve found substitutes for some favorite foods, but most of my favorite foods do not have substitutes. Saying no to sweets & other favorite foods is the easy part. The hard part is the internal struggle. I know the right answer is “no” but I wish I could say “yes” without feeling guilty & without feeding cancer cells. In the first few weeks, this struggle was very strong. At times, it brought me to tears. Today, I find it easier to say no. It’s not the same as saying no because I’m not on a diet to lose weight. I’m saying no to avoid feeding cancer cells! That’s entirely different! It’s easy to rationalize cheating on a weight-loss diet, by having a dessert, but I cannot rationalize feeding cancer cells. God helps me to keep my focus. A single bite of a tempting food is enough to satisfy my curiosity. As soon as I taste it, I am reminded that I do not want any more, because I do not want to feed the cancer cells. God is always faithful. He gives me strength to face each challenge.

In early May, I read some material from the American Cancer Society about hormone therapy. I was a bit surprised when I read that when oncologists use AI’s to treat stage IV metastatic breast cancer, the expectation is merely that the AI will keep the cancer from spreading or getting worse. I am expecting mine to diminish, because I am doing more than taking the AI. My next PET scan is scheduled for May 6th. We are anxious to get the results June 2nd, after 3 full months on the AI, the diet & exercise 3 times per week. Three months of prayers of hundreds of people! God is in control of the outcome, but I will do my part to be responsible & take care of myself physically.

Ch 14 – Results

2010-07-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

Original post 6/16/08

I had a PET scan May 6th. My follow-up appointment to discuss the results was scheduled for Wednesday, May 14th. I had blood drawn that day, but my appointment had to be rescheduled because Dr. Patel was called away from the office for an emergency consultation at the hospital & was unable to return in time for my appointment.

Ed asked the nurse if she would have Dr. Patel call us before we left for our 2-week vacation, Saturday morning, to give us a general overview of the PET scan results, so we won’t have to wait for 2 more weeks to know if things are better or worse. She assured us she would have him call about the PET scan, but it would be 2 days before the lab would have the results of the tumor marker from the blood test.

Dr. Patel called Thursday morning & reached Ed. His description of the PET scan results characterized the cancer as stable, but one statement gave me hope that it showed some improvement. As Ed recounted the conversation with Dr. Patel, I asked a follow-up question when he reached this point, but Ed said he did not ask my question. Ed was very encouraged by the fact the cancer is stable. Although I am glad it is stable, I really wanted to hear that there is some improvement. Because this information is incomplete, we decided to wait until we have complete information to report before we place a statement on the website.

After a very relaxing 2-week vacation, we met with Dr. Patel June 2nd. We got a more complete picture – the PET scan & results of the May 14th blood test. Dr. Patel went over the PET scan & repeated that it shows that the cancer is stable.

His tone changed when he moved to the tumor marker, CA 27.29, in the blood test. It seemed as if there should have been a drum roll playing in the background as he did this. He pulled the bottom of the page, with the recorded list of numbers on it, up to cover all but the 1st number. The tumor marker 12/10/07 was 211. He then revealed the next 2, one at a time. 1/30/08 it rose to 580.7; 2/27/08 it dropped to 389.7. Then he asked us what we thought it was 5/14/08.
He looked at me for a response. I said, “In the 300’s?”
Dr. Patel said, “No, but the patient’s spouse usually gets it right” & looked at Ed for his answer.
He said, “I hope it is back to the 200’s, where we started.”
Dr. Patel indicated that he was still too high.
I said, “In the 100’s?”
He then revealed the number – 126.7!! Obviously, Dr. Patel was quite impressed & very excited about these results. He said, “Whatever you are doing, keep doing it because it’s working!”

I told him that I worked hard to make a difference. When I explained that I am eating differently – basically fruits, vegetables & meat – & exercising regularly – 6 miles per week on the elliptical – he mentioned that he noticed that I lost a lot of weight & looked at my chart to see how much. I explained that I’m not eating sugar because cancer is a “sugar feeder.” (It seems Dr. Patel hasn’t read the material I’ve read or studied what Dr. Powers has studied.) He commented that everything we eat ultimately turns to glucose in order for our cells to metabolize it. His reaction makes me realize just how much I wish all doctors were required to take courses in medical school on nutrition & supplements & their role in preventing disease, maintaining good health & supporting a healthy immune system.

I couldn’t think fast enough to respond to Dr. Patel’s comment. Later I thought I should have said something about the fact that sugar provides empty calories that feed cancer cells, but it has no nutritional value to feed healthy cells.

He said that I was obviously healthy, & he was impressed by my 6 miles per week on the elliptical. However, he does not want me to lose any more weight. I assured him that it is not my intent to lose more weight.

I was still curious about the tumor marker. I asked, “Is zero considered normal or the goal for the CA 27.29 tumor marker?”

Dr. Patel explained, “Everyone with breast tissue, male or female, has a number.” The exact number for a female without breast cancer is about 38, but anything below 40 is considered normal.

He then explained that I will have a blood test every 6 weeks to check the tumor marker number. It will be a while before I have another PET scan. The PET scan is a gross look at the disease & my response to treatment, whereas the tumor marker, once it can be established as reliable, is a microscopic indicator of my response to treatment.

My tumor marker has established a definite pattern. It was rising prior to treatment & effectiveness of the hormone treatment. I started hormone treatment at the end of December, & it takes 1 month for it to be fully effective (until the end of January). Until that time, my CA 27.29 was rising. Since that time, it has responded to the hormone treatment, & it has declined. Thus, the tumor marker can be regarded as reliable for the doctors to judge my response to hormone treatment.

Dr. Patel said he is looking for my tumor marker to stabilize. He said it may stabilize at 126 or it may go lower. At one point, he said it might have stabilized in the 300 range. The goal with stage IV metastatic cancer is not to cure it; it can only be stabilized. I know, from what I have read, medically, the hormone treatment is not viewed as a cure for stage IV cancer; it is viewed as a means of stabilizing cancer in this stage.

At the same time, I know God has promised to heal me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, & I know God does not lie. I will be patient until God’s appointed time. As I wait, I am expecting to see results from the combination of our faith in the power of prayer combined with the results of the hormone therapy, my diet, supplements, & exercising to begin to overtake the cancer – killing cancer cells faster than the rate at which they are multiplying – & make improvements so that I will have a future PET scan that shows some tumors have decreased in size.

June 4th we met with Dr. Powers to deliver the results of the PET scan & blood test to him. He is also pleased with the results. When he read the PET scan, he did mention the fact that the numbers used to indicate the levels of activity in the tumors are low, & they are lower than my previous 2 scans. This is verification I was looking for that there is actually improvement shown on the PET scan. He is also pleased with the big decrease in the tumor marker number.

Dr. Powers indicated that it is not possible to tell what factor or factors contributed most to the positive results; therefore, he agreed that I should continue what I have been doing.
He also noticed my considerable weight loss & asked how much I’ve lost.
I told him I’ve lost 30 pounds, but I do not want to lose any more weight. To try to avoid any further weight loss, I have found that I need to add something from the grain family, usually at breakfast, sometimes at another meal, to maintain my weight. (This is the 1st time in my life I have worked to keep weight on; it is really weird!)
Dr. Powers asked what else I eat for breakfast.
I told him I usually have Activia lite & fruit juice with protein powder.
He said that the glycemic index of grains is so high I shouldn’t have them unless I eat them with something that is high in protein. He approves of my choices.

I’m satisfied! We compromised. Dr. Powers knows I won’t choose simple, processed grains. Instead of a diet of no grains, I can now have some grains if I also have a good amount of protein with them. I can live with that.

I am trusting God for good results when I have my next blood test for the CA 27.29 tumor marker. I will continue to do my part by trusting God, exercising & following my diet.

It’s both humbling & awesome when I realize there are a great number of people who pray for me regularly; in fact, it’s impossible for me to guess how many. I can’t thank you enough for all your prayers on my behalf! I’m asking God to bless you for your faithfulness; I trust He will meet the needs of your life.