The following is a series of excerpts from chapter 4 of Journeys with the Cancer Conqueror: Mobilizing Mind & Spirit, by Greg Anderson, 1999, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Kansas City, Missouri, previously published under the title: The Cancer Conqueror (1988). Emphasis is added with bold print to draw attention to cancer conqueror traits. Much of the summary is quoted directly from the book, but I also add editorial comments along the way that reflect my own personal convictions, Scriptural support of ideas expressed, as well as research from other resources. These are indicated by italicized print. Portions in blue print that are NOT italicized are direct quotes from another source other than the Bible. ******************************************************************************
This week the man met Barbara. She explained, “Resolve starts with some fundamentals – diet & exercise. Good nutrition is essential for recovery. Make a shift toward a plant-based, low-fat, low-salt, low-sugar diet. Consider nutritional supplements, including vitamins, minerals, & herbs. . . I encourage you to become your own nutrition expert. I want you to act on the belief that what you put in your body is very important. You deserve the best in nutrition, especially now.”
(In chapter 7 of “My Story,” I relate how I came to ask my family doctor if she was aware of any doctor who could advise me in terms of nutrition &/or supplements to keep my immune system strong as I underwent cancer treatment. Due to having ulcerative colitis, I felt this might help me to better tolerate cancer treatment. She recommended Dr. Powers. At the time, I was not aware of the fact that it is possible to fight cancer with nutrition.
Chapters 12 & 13 of "My Story" recount my first appointment with Dr. Powers & my struggle to adopt & to adjust to a new eating plan. The way I was able to make the adjustment was through prayer, which helped to change my perspective, & through research, which helped me to understand how the supplements I was taking & the changes in my eating habits were helping to kill or to starve the cancer cells in my body. The research also reinforced my change in perspective. Since I have always been an avid reader, & I had done quite a lot of reading & research on nutrition many years ago, my interest in nutrition research was re-ignited.
The great reward, of adopting the changes in my diet, has been the health benefits I’ve enjoyed. Besides the wonderful test results, I am healthier now than I was the day I was diagnosed with cancer. I take far fewer prescription medications. Of the prescriptions I do take, I take lower dosages of some of them. The ulcerative colitis is an amazing example. I was taking 12 pills per day of one prescription & 2 pills a day of a 2nd prescription. Today, I am off of the 1st prescription & take only 1 pill per day of the 2nd!! Praise God!)
Barbara continued, “You don’t have a habit to change so much as you have a decision to make. Most people have significant room for improvement here. Just know this – even patients with limiting physical conditions can maintain an exercise program. The type & frequency is your decision. The benefits are both physical & psychological. . . Similar to nutrition research, study the literature available from the Foundation for Cancer Research & Wellness (I posted their 2 main recommended sources of information in a series of blogs, March 2010) & become your own exercise expert. Remember, the goal here is to feel more energized, not to become an Olympic athlete.”
(I would not call myself an exercise expert, but I have taught aerobics classes, in the past. I’ve always maintained an interest in sports. When I was younger I played a lot of tennis & bicycled. I’ve run, jogged, swam, & participated in water aerobics. However, I had become rather sedentary. As I explain in chapter 13 of “My Story,” I learned that cancer cells do not like oxygen; so, I resolved to exercise, on a regular basis, to kill more cancer cells. I’ve kept that commitment. I do feel MUCH stronger for including this as part of my weekly schedule.)
Barbara went on, “As important as nutrition & exercise are, when the Cancer Conqueror talks about resolve, she is actually putting the emphasis on issues of a psychological & emotional nature. In fact, she is really starting at the spiritual point of loving ourselves. Unless we have a healthy respect for ourselves, we probably won’t eat right or exercise.
(Matthew 22:39 “Love your neighbor as yourself.” This certainly implies that we are to love ourselves. We need to love ourselves enough to respect our bodies & to treat them responsibly.)
“Resolve asks us to look deep within to focus on, identifying & clearing our lives of emotional roadblocks & self-destructive behavior. This is a critically important exercise because the resolve principal is based on the premise that emotions affect us physically.”
The man asked if that was provable.
Barbara explained, “The whole area of psychoneuroimmunology, or PNI for short, is documenting this mind-over-illness phenomenon. The evidence suggests it is very real.
“The Cancer Conqueror urges us to acknowledge that beliefs, attitudes, & feelings go together to create a mental & emotional outlook toward life, an emotional lifestyle. Those emotions, either positive or negative, translate to the physical. Our beliefs, attitudes, & feelings lead to illness or wellness.
“Emotions are the core issue of resolving. . . PNI experts have given us overwhelming evidence that emotions occupy a central role in health. Consider this: Cancer cells are regularly present in virtually all people. Yet relatively few of these people become ill. That’s because the body’s immune system is so powerful; it is the natural enemy of abnormal cells. The immune system routinely contains or destroys these cells, allowing them to be carried away through natural bodily processes.” (See the blog “Growth Rate of Cancer – How Long Has it Been There,” posted June 25, 2009, for a more complete explanation of this process.)
“Yet when a malignant cell is not destroyed, what is behind the immune system’s less-than-optimal functioning? What lapse in the body’s defenses might allow these cells to develop into a life-threatening malignancy? And why has it developed now? What may have caused the immune system to function at less than full capacity, when for years it operated so effectively?
“Some people answer this by insisting it is a matter of genetics. Others say diet. Still others teach that it is carcinogens in the environment. All these may make a contribution to answering the question Why cancer now? But none offers a full explanation. . .
“It is at this point that PNI brings us back to emotional components. What is different? Research is providing clear & convincing evidence that the development of cancer requires more than just the presence of abnormal cells. It also requires suppression of the body’s natural defenses, the immune system. And the difference that could suppress the immune system? Changed emotional states.”
“Not only changed emotional states, but charged emotional states. Fear. Anger. Guilt. Hostility. All negative emotional states. All commonly the results of mismanaged stress. All potentially capable of depressing the person & the immune system.”
(The term psychoneuroimmunology was coined in 1975, but the science has its roots in research that began in the early 1900s. “PNI is the scientific field of study investigating the link between bi-directional communications among the nervous system, the endocrine (hormone) system, and the immune system and the implications of these linkages for physical health. . .
“Research over the past 20 years has seen the development of PNI, which is based primarily upon the neuro sciences of the central nervous systems, the neuroendocrine system & the immune system & their inter-relationships. The central nervous system [CNS] is a huge array of connections throughout the body . . . It allows the brain to send information throughout the body via chemicals generally referred to as information substances (IS). It was once thought that the brain sent out these [IS] to respond to the various problems in the body & that the communication was that of a one way direction. . . [T]he [CNS] virtually controls the body's defense mechanisms. . . ‘Every thought, emotion, idea or belief has a neurochemical consequence’.
“These natural chemical messengers, called Neuropeptides, were at one time thought to be found in the brain alone. Pioneering research by neuropharmacologist, Candice Pert, revealed that these neuropeptides are present on both the cell walls of the brain & in the immune system. These [IS] affect our emotions as well as our physiology. These cells of the body have their own receptors on the surface that act like satellite dishes, [which] receive the chemical [IS] being released by the brain & sometimes return messages at the appropriate times . . . As these complex messengers travel throughout the body they provide vital information & sometimes almost instant physical feedback. If you have ever encountered something unpleasant, possibly by surprise, you may have found yourself instantly shivering, then literally shaking off the feeling produced. This is a simple example of how fast the information can be transmitted from thought to physiology. The emotions we create are just that, created. This requires input from the brain. . . The discovery . . . that neuropeptides & neurotransmitters are also on cell walls of the immune system shows a close association with emotions & suggests that emotions & health are deeply interdependent. Showing that the immune & endocrine systems are modulated not only by the brain but by the [CNS] itself has had an impact on how we see disease & how it’s created. For its part, the endocrine system is a series of hormone secreting glands that themselves moderate the function & balance of the body. Primarily the pituitary, thyroid & adrenal glands send these hormonal chemicals to regulate the function of other organs. Using this network of transmitters & receivers the body is in constant adjustment to ensure balance.
“The balance is kept as long as the immune system is functioning optimally. The immune system is literally on patrol throughout the body & is a complex surveillance system. . . (white blood cells) are the keys to the immune system. Produced initially in the bone marrow of long bones, some of these cells known as stem cells will migrate to the thymus where they multiply & are known as T cells. Those cells that remain in the bone marrow mature to become B cells. Each attacks the enemy in different ways. Circulating in the body, when these antigens are discovered, an army of . . . (antibodies) is produced to attack the invader. To prevent this army of cells taking over, they in turn are suppressed & attacked. On this continuous patrol, natural killer (NK) cells attack & destroy cells that are produced by the [body] which are mutated or abnormal. It is this action which prevents most people contracting cancers or other immune deficient problems such as A.I.D.S.
“Research has indicated that an [inseparable] chemical link exists between our emotions, which includes all stress in our lives, both good & bad, & the regulatory systems of the [hormonal] & immune systems through the [CNS]. This research emphasizes the importance of expressing our emotions both verbally & physically in an appropriate way. When strong emotions generate fear, anger or rage & these are not expressed in a healthy way then the body's natural response is that of the sympathetic nervous system as demonstrated in . . . the fight or flight syndrome. At this point, inappropriate storing of these stressful emotions produces an excess of epinephrine. This excess of epinephrine causes a chemical breakdown, resulting in internal weakening of the immune system & an increased potential for disease.” http://www.nfnlp.com/psychoneuroimmunology_quinlan.htm
There is a tremendous amount to digest in the short piece printed above, but it certainly gives evidence of the link between our emotions & their effects on our physical bodies. When you get nervous, do you get sweaty palms, a dry mouth, or an upset stomach? Why? Aren’t your emotions having a physical effect on your body? This is what PNI studies & explains.
Other factors that can cause the immune system to be compromised are factors over which we have little or no control such as: traumatic physical injury, surgery; any illness, but especially severe and/or prolonged illness other than cancer; prolonged or chronic health issues; prescriptions & over-the-counter medications; traumatic life events.
Additional factors compromise our immune system over which we have control; they are a matter of a series of choices, such as: very poor eating habits over an extended period of time, other poor lifestyle choices practiced over a long period of time, etc. Perhaps you didn’t know these & MANY other factors can compromise your immune system & possibly CONTRIBUTE to the onset of cancer. It is unfair to focus on any ONE factor & lay blame at someone’s door step for your disease or to blame yourself for your disease. Instead, it’s much more productive & effective to focus on CANCER CONQUERING STRATEGIES.
Job 18:4a tells us “You tear yourself to pieces in your anger.” I think that’s pretty straightforward. The one who is hurt most by anger is the one who is angry. We are given this warning because anger that is harbored does emotional, spiritual, & physical damage to us, as it is described above in the discussion of PNI.
Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage & anger, brawling & slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind & compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” It is a process of spiritual growth to learn how to do this. As we mature, we learn to rely on the Holy Spirit’s power to help us overcome these emotional issues/sins & to love & to forgive others as God loves & forgives them.
Hanging onto emotional issues such as those listed in Ephesians 4, fear, anger, guilt, hostility, or even worry is like holding a basketball on your head. It gets more & more uncomfortable the longer we hold onto it. The only way to relieve the discomfort is to let go of the basketball – the issue causing our discomfort/stress. If we know we are releasing it into capable hands of someone we trust, without reservation, it’s easier to do this. The trick is to NOT TAKE IT BACK, after we’ve released it. The Holy Spirit can help us to release our grip & remind us to leave the “basketball” with God.
Paul speaks about forgiveness in 2 Corinthians 2:5-8: “If anyone has caused grief, . . . he has grieved all of you, to some extent. . . The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive & comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.”
These examples warn us not to harbor emotions, because they are sinful & because they become emotional baggage that is emotionally, & often physically, crippling. James 5:16 states “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” The condition for healing, in this verse, is confession of sins & praying for each other.
How are our prayers powerful & effective? If we are righteous, but how can we be righteous? First, 2 Timothy says, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” Second, Romans 1:17 says, “For in the Gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: ‘The righteous will live by faith.’" To me, this says we are made righteous by faith in Jesus Christ, but it is also an ongoing process of training through studying & practicing the principles learned in the Bible.)
“Much of the emotional aspect of cancer,” she continued, “can be understood in the framework of stress. Actually, the issue isn’t the stress but how we respond to stress. . .
“The point is change. Both the negative & positive events of life are often experienced as emotional conflict. It is not enough to analyze the stressful events or to acquire new coping skills. Our point of power is to see beyond the stress & understand the emotions. . .”
“Two things must happen in successful stress management. The Cancer Conqueror calls this management the Stress Solver System: Change your perception of yourself & change your perception of your problem.”
“It’s that basic. We need to change our perception of ourselves & our ability to handle whatever life problems face us, particularly the stresses before cancer. Plus, we need to be able to perceive those problems as being less threatening. Arguably, you could solve the emotional conflict with just one change in perception. But increasing personal power & decreasing problem power is the essence of successful stress management. . .”
(One of the greatest blessings of God’s promise that my cancer “is not a death sentence,” before the surgeon delivered the news that the lymph node biopsy was malignant, is that God protected my belief system. It gave me a hopeful outlook. My perspective was FAR different than it would have been if God had not spoken this promise of hope to me. If you’ve read chapter 2 of “My Story,” you know what my preconceived notions of cancer were, as we waited to hear my initial biopsy results. My mind raced with negative thoughts.
In chapter 3 of “My Story,” you can read how my husband, Ed, & I reacted to the news the first couple of days. We had a very real sense of God’s comforting presence. Although we were exhausted, we felt so very blessed for the love we shared for each other & for God.
I thank God that Ed made the initial calls to our kids & my brother & sister, to tell them that I’d been diagnosed with cancer. After he had broken the news & filled them in, I was able to talk with each of them to assure them that I was actually OK. Once they were told & I had talked with them, I found it easier to later tell others that I’d just been diagnosed with cancer. Their supportive concern & offers to pray for me were a tremendous boost to my morale. However, the barrage of questions was sometimes a little overwhelming. I knew they were asking questions out of concern, & I desperately wanted & needed their care & concern. The difficult part was the emotional toll it was taking on me. Since we worked at the same place, Ed tried to re-direct some mutual friends & acquaintances, by fielding their questions, so that I did not have to deal with answering all of them, but that was not entirely possible. In the cases where he had answered the inquires, I received greetings, hugs, & comments of care & concern. Since I was still working, I was trying to act as if nothing was wrong when I stepped in front of a class of students. This was, also, taking an emotional toll on me.
Quite honestly, I found that I needed some help to deal with the stress, as I describe in chapter 2 of "My Story;" I did use medication to help me through the early months of dealing with the numerous dimensions of arriving at a final diagnosis & staging of my cancer. This is the means by which I felt I needed to address this issue. It was a matter of prayer, but my injured brain was not cooperating with the overwhelming number of issues we were facing, as I tried to continue my normal schedule. The medication “decreased the problem power” for me. It was a temporary “fix” for a temporary problem. Once I got past that stage, I’ve had stressful times, but I’ve been able to manage them through prayer & with the support of family & friends who continually lift me up in prayer & stay in contact with me. James 5:16b “pray for each other.”1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
In Luke 1:37 Jesus said, “For nothing is impossible with God.” There’s no problem too big that He cannot help us to work through it. We may need to see a physician for medication or seek professional help to learn strategies to better deal with problems that have plagued us for years that are now amplified by this situation or to deal with problems we need support &/or accountability to work through. Although I have not needed to seek professional help to deal with issues related to my journey with cancer, there was a time that I sought professional help to deal with emotional issues from my past. I praise God for the Christian counselor who helped me work through those issues & to learn safe & effective ways to unpack my emotional baggage & to deal with emotionally charged issues in the future.)
“The outcome of mismanaged stress is chronic emotional conflict. And continuing emotional conflict – chronic fear, anger, guilt, & hostility – leads to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, & despair. From here, it is a short step to depression.”
“Okay,” said the man. “But this doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll get cancer.”
“That’s correct,” said Barbara. “There is no 100 percent link. But PNI studies are demonstrating there is a strong correlation between a depressed mind & a depressed immune system. . .”
“A chronically depressed immune system can lead to illnesses of many kinds, including cancer.”
Barbara shared her story about her divorce after 32 years of marriage & 4 children. She described her feelings of fear, anger & worthlessness. She then became depressed. She felt as if she was a victim, under her husband’s control, a victim of life. She felt like a failure.
“Mentally & emotionally I took everything to its worst possible conclusion.
“I failed to realize hope & hopelessness are both choices. And I have a personal responsibility for those choices! Why not choose hope?
“We can choose to be victors instead of victims!”
(We need not fall victim to the disease of cancer. We can be victorious over it, regardless of the outcome, IF we resolve to live each day to the fullest & live in full ASSURANCE of where we will spend eternity. Romans 10:9-10 tells us, “if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ & believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe & are justified, & it is with your mouth that you confess & are saved.” 1 Corinthians 15:55-56 (New Living Translation) says, “Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? For sin is the sting that results in death, & the law gives sin its power. But thank God! He gives us victory over sin & death through our Lord Jesus Christ.” In The Message Bible 1 Peter 1:3-4 says, “What a God we have! And how fortunate we are to have him, this Father of our Master Jesus! Because Jesus was raised from the dead, we’ve been given a brand-new life & have everything to live for, including a future in heaven -- & the future starts now! God is keeping careful watch over us & the future.”I love how it states that we have everything to LIVE for!! This charges my batteries with a healthy dose of “resolve” to live as a conqueror of the disease, with God’s all-sufficient grace to meet the challenges that lie before me. It's a wonderful antidote for 'awfulizing!')
The most difficult step in conquering cancer is “to concede weakness or helplessness. . . By doing so, you have opened yourself to untold possibilities. Once you free yourself from the role of victim, you can begin self-renewal. You can take on the role of victor. . .”
“What you do now is begin to work on nurturing & renewing your mind & your emotions. The victim stance is full of toxic emotions. The victor stance is characterized by a calm & serene focus. Inner serenity is your 1st priority. That is the gateway to conquering cancer. A calm, quiet focused mind & spirit is step one in the journey to wellness. . .”
(When I unpacked my bottled up emotions it was as if a VERY HEAVY weight was lifted off of me, which gave me peace of mind! My entire outlook changed. I was finding it hard to smile, hard to find joy in life, nothing seemed to bring satisfaction. My emotions were in neutral. I found it hard to feel any depth in any positive emotion. I couldn’t even cry when I was sad. I was very cynical & critical of myself & others. I could say, “I love you,” with my lips, but it wasn’t very apparent in my voice inflection or facial expression. Oh, I had prayed about this & had forgiven those who had caused the pain of my past, but I had also stowed away the emotions that I felt – the pain, anger, fear, & disappointment, etc. – & never dealt with them. What a life change to finally have that burden lifted!!! Psalm 31:7 “I will be glad & rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction & knew the anguish of my soul.”
In terms of a cancer conquering spirit, I needed to deal with negative emotions brought about by the disease itself. I thank God that I am not prone to depression, but I will confess that I am prone to other emotional weaknesses. I know I can depend on God to help me. First, Ephesians 4:23 says, “be made new in the attitude of you minds.”And Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test & approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing & perfect will.” When I see things the way God sees them, it changes my perspective & removes my emotions from the equation, without denying them. I can look at them more objectively & ask God to help me manage them, rather than letting them control me.
Psalm 28:7a “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.” I‘ve needed His help as I’ve dealt with MANY, MANY aspects of the journey. As you read the chapters of "My Story," you will find that I am not shy about sharing these struggles, but you will also find that I also share the victories I found. My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the common denominator in every instance. Praise God for his all-sufficient grace that has been poured out in abundance on my life! “The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” 1 Timothy 1:14
This helps to keep my spirit calm & to keep my mind focused on God, who I know is the source of all that I need, for conquering my cancer. Philippians 4:19 “My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”)
“The Cancer Conqueror helped me so much when she shared the 3 most consistent traits of the cancer-prone personality:”
1. Tendency to bottle up emotions
2. Excessive difficulty grieving loss
3. Judgmentalism, being unduly critical of others
(Be aware, this is generalized. You may not fit this profile. I hope you don’t. I, on the other hand, fit 2/3 of this profile. The 1st & 3rd characteristics stung like pouring rubbing alcohol on an open wound!)
“Those personality characteristics can lead to emotional lifestyles dominated by fear, anger, hostility, & guilt. They can depress the immune system & allow cancer, & other illnesses, to flourish.”
(Now, I do not characterize myself as dominated by fear, anger, hostility, & guilt. These do not seem to be entirely consistent with the 3 characteristics listed above, but there is SOME relationship. Again, this is a generalized statement. However, there is scientific evidence that supports the statement.
I can put myself under a great deal of stress, due to my perfectionist personality. I demand a great deal of myself, despite the excuse of a brain injury. I will work extra hours to be over-prepared; so, I can do things as normally as possible, in hopes that observers will not recognize my handicaps. I spend hours agonizing over planning, organizing, writing & editing my blogs & chapters of "My Story." Then I have 2 to 6 people proof read what I’ve written, to check for errors & for whether or not they think I’ve conveyed the message I intended to convey, before you see them posted.
As we were going through the process of appointments & tests, in the fall of 2007, to arrive at a final diagnosis & staging of my cancer, we made a decision that I would not teach in the spring of 2008. At first, this decision was made because we thought I would be undergoing surgery, followed by chemotherapy & radiation treatments. It would not be possible to teach under those conditions. By the time we made the decision to go with the hormone blocker treatment, it was too late to reverse the decision. Second, Ed was concerned by the amount of stress I was under while teaching & felt that it would be better if I didn’t have this stress to contend with while trying to handle cancer treatment & recovery. He was sure there was some connection between high stress & the growth of cancer; so, we felt it best to let the decision stand, even if it were possible for me to be given a class, at the last minute.
I had always been a very active person, prior to my auto accident, in 1999. I worked full-time, volunteered for a national ministry, volunteered at our local church doing the same ministry, taught Sunday school 1 or 2 quarters per year, conducted financial seminars, spoke at various churches, from time to time; 2 daughters participated in sports; 1 daughter participated in a choral group; my husband & I attended every sporting event & choral production; we entertained at our home frequently, occasionally taught Bible studies, etc. Today, I can’t believe I had time to do all the things I did & still took care of my family & household responsibilities. After the accident, I tried, after 6 months, returning to work part-time. It didn’t work out. Although I was very glad to see my clients & they were happy to see me, I couldn’t handle the pace of the job. A change in the securities’ laws, during the time I was off, necessitated different paperwork, which increased my frustrations. I don’t think I lasted 2 months before I resigned. I knew I had to do it; God had a different plan for my future.
I had signed up to take college classes, to help with recovery from the brain injury. At the time, I didn’t understand the fact that they are permanent, & no one told me any differently when I said that’s why I was taking classes. Oh well; with prayer, persistence & extended time to take exams, God helped me to learn strategies to work around some of the deficiencies. Part way through my degree program, I had cognitive testing done, which helped me to understand my brain injury & the extent of it. I now have an even better appreciation for how God has worked in my life to help me find strategies to work around my disabilities. This was fertile training ground for my journey with cancer.
As I told friends & acquaintances that I was diagnosed with cancer, several of them told me they were sure I would handle it with the same faith & courage that I handled my auto accident. They were right about the faith, but they gave me far too much credit. I knew that I had only handled it BY THE GRACE OF GOD. It was uncomfortable to have so much credit given to me, when I knew how much I depended on God to get me through on a daily basis.
It’s easy to let severe injuries or a disease, such as cancer, defeat us. It can make us angry or fearful. We may have reason to grieve perceived losses. These are emotions we need to sincerely give to God. We have to work through each of them, not deny them. Am I angry that I have cancer? Anger is a normal emotion, but it’s only a problem if we harbor it because it can control us. We are told, in Ephesians 4:26, “In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
By taking college classes, my life had a routine & schedule, which I needed. Once I graduated, I found that I liked the freedom of no schedule, for a while, but I realized that I wasted a lot of time. Taking the part-time teaching job was my return to the workforce after 4 & a half years away from working full time. Teaching part-time re-introduced a routine & schedule into my life. With an upper brain stem injury, it’s easy to get lost in doing one thing & lose track of time. It’s also easy to get distracted from doing what I should be doing. When I have a routine & responsibilities with deadlines, I do a better job of staying on task to get what MUST be done completed. Anything that is not part of my daily or weekly routine is a toss-up, in terms of whether or not I will even remember to do it.
Cancer can be seen as opening opportunities to us or as robbing us of opportunities. I had choices to make. My career had been “taken away” by my auto accident. I sought a degree to open new doors, which were previously closed to me, because I did not have a college degree. Was cancer “taking away” my opportunity? Was I disappointed? Yes. Is there a possibility of a different opportunity? Yes. What about the fact that I have lost my face-to-face social contact with students & peers? Did it cause some grieving? Yes. What can I do to overcome this? I have to replace this with another form of contact & less frequent face-to-face contact. All of this took time; it’s a process to work through each item as it arises. There are MANY things in my life that changed along the way. Some changes were easier to adapt to than others; there were welcomed & unwelcomed changes. God’s grace has been sufficient to meet each challenge. The lesson to be learned is that we need to be aware of our stress & deal with it in a healthy manner so that it does not weaken our immune system & make it more difficult for our bodies to perform their natural function of recognizing & destroying cancer cells. Over time, I have found that God has used the fact that I am not working to open MANY, MANY opportunities that would not have been possible if I were working. Praise God!! I have more time to spend with Ed & with my family; I have more time to read, research & write; I have more time to travel with Ed, our children & with friends. I could go on, but you get the idea - my quality of life has been enhanced! I believe that research supports the fact that these loving experiences have a positive effect on my immune system, in the same way that negative emotions have a negative effect on it.
“The science of [PNI] presents solid information about the communication link that exists between the mind-brain & body. Certainly evidence has been established that supports the idea of some illnesses being contractible or aggravated by psychosocial pressure which induces stress in the [body]. It is too simplistic to believe that all diseases have their basis in emotions but a growing number of experts believe that some diseases are emotional, as opposed to organic in origin. A sense of loss of control over ones situation can lead to a loss of normal homeostasis. When this happens, our immune system is weakened making it easier to contract disease. While it is certain that the biological, [medical treatment] approach has made amazing advances, its limitations lay in not capitalizing on the patient's emotional well-being from a humanistic approach. A complimentary approach would appear to be best for the patient's well-being. This would require a huge paradigm shift for the present way in which the medical community completes its business. http://www.nfnlp.com/psychoneuroimmunology_quinlan.htm )
“Here we are again. I keep thinking I caused my own cancer!” The man sighed.
“No, now just recall our beliefs,” said Barbara. “Remember that we probably did contribute to the illness on a subconscious level. But the key is this: If you acknowledge that you may have contributed to the illness, then by definition you must also acknowledge that you can contribute to your wellness.”
“. . .Remember, cancer is a reversible disease. You can contribute to that reversal.
“Okay,” said the man. “I want to get well! I’m choosing to live! Where do I start to resolve?”
“You’ve already started.” She smiled. “What you do next is take a rigorous inventory of yourself. The Cancer Conqueror gives us 3 questions that, if treated with respect, will lead us to higher self awareness.”
1. What high-stress, emotionally disruptive events happened to you in the past year or 2 before diagnosis? (I, respectfully, disagree with this time frame, based on the growth rate of cancer information I have received. In almost every case, it takes, on average, 9 years for a tumor to grow to 1 cm; current diagnostic technology allows detection of tumors that are between 7mm & 1 cm. 7mm is just slightly larger than ¼”. When your cancer is diagnosed, it has, in almost all cases, been there for much longer than 2 years. One author states that it takes between 5 & 40 years for the “seed” of cancer to become a detectable cancerous tumor.
How can we know what high-stress events or combination of factors contributed to the onset of our disease, with any certainty? However, the practice of resolving emotionally disruptive conflicts from our past is still a meaningful & valuable experience. I recommend that you don’t put a 2-year time frame on it, or lay blame at its feet. Instead, take responsibility to unpack your emotional baggage & to resolve your emotional conflicts, with God’s help. “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18. “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:18.
As we resolve these issues, our perspective changes for the better. We recognize God’s hand in helping us overcome these emotionally disruptive events & give Him praise. This increases the joy in our lives, which increases our strength. Nehemiah 8:10d says, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” I know this to be true; I’ve personally experienced it!)
a. Get in touch with the way we react to those events (Psalm 73:23-24a “I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel.”)
b. Can we now look at different & more constructive ways of handling the situation?
2. What emotional needs might you be meeting or masking with the cancer?
a. Look at the motivation behind our illness-related behavior
b. Examine what needs we might be meeting or masking with the illness. What am I gaining from cancer?
3. What health options might you choose to fulfill these needs?
a. Recognize the real needs we feel, do not deny them
b. Fulfill these needs in healthy, positive ways
“The Cancer Conqueror helped me resolve nearly all those issues when she explained that our central task in resolving is to forgive – ourselves & others. Then she traced how certain processes help people release resentments & forgive both real & perceived wrongs, thus opening the mind & body to healing. In fact, the Cancer Conqueror believes forgiveness is the most powerful psycho-spiritual component in getting well again. . .
(Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
John Maxwell, in his book Winning With People, explains that those who are hurting often hurt other people; they often are hurt by other people, & they often hurt themselves. He uses an illustration to express how hurting people are hurt by others. “If someone who has a splinter in his finger & he allows it to remain there, his finger becomes swollen & infected. Then if another person barely brushes against it, the individual howls with pain & says, ‘You hurt me!’ But the reality is that the problem isn’t with the person who innocently bumped the finger. It’s with the person who has the splinter but has neglected to address the injury.
“Emotional pain works in a similar way. Hurting people overreact, over-exaggerate, & overprotect. They also over-influence. By that I mean they control relationships. . . As you interact with others, remember this: anytime a person’s response is larger than the issue at hand, the response is almost always about something else.”
I appreciate Maxwell’s advice with regard to solving these problems. He says, “Most people just want a quick fix, something to give them some relief in the moment. That’s why some choose to lash out; it makes them feel better temporarily. Others use alcohol, food, sex, or something else to lessen the pain. . . ‘If you want to become well, you need more than a fix. You need to become fit.’
“People who seek emotional fitness don’t look for momentary relief. They search for what’s right. How can you tell what kind of person you are? People searching for a fix stop working at resolving a problem as soon as the pain or pressure is relieved. People seeking fitness continue doing what’s right & improving themselves even when the discomfort goes away.
“Delving into your old hurts & emotional issues often takes the help of a professional counselor & can be a messy proposition, but it’s worth it. . . If your relational capacity is ‘clogged up,’ you may have to do some digging to make things right. And you may have to deal with some pretty nasty stuff. But the reward is that you may discover some treasures that you didn’t know existed. And at the end of your hard work, you can develop a healthy capacity for relationships.”
As a cancer patient, who is made keenly aware of how precious each day is, I want to spend every day living in healthy, loving relationships, which are more important than ever before! It’s a wonderful bonus that this also contributes to my recovery!!)
“With forgiveness, I could choose differently. Now I could look upon myself & others with compassion, even love. In fact, for the first time I realized others were doing the best they could, given their level of awareness. And that applied to me as well. The issue was not blame at all. . .
“I actively forgave others. I wished them well & imagined good things happening to them. It was a truly a wonderful exercise that transformed my mind & spirit. And I forgave myself. I realized that my feeling loved was not dependent on others showing me attention or affection. It was instead dependent upon my showing love to others. Whenever I did, I felt loved. And I believe that by resolving this emotional conflict, I helped my body heal.
“For me,” Barbara continued. . . “the real need was to replace fear, anger, resentment, & guilt with love, joy, & peace. . .
“Time after time the people who conquer cancer are the ones who work systematically at resolving their emotional conflicts. The central issues are accepting personal responsibility on all levels of life, frankly examining fundamental beliefs, managing stress better, improving self-love, & nurturing better relationships through loving & forgiving. . . In order to conquer cancer a person needs to arrive at the point where he or she says, ‘I value myself & I am unwilling to remain miserable. I will no longer live this old destructive way.’
“Just remember that our emotions don’t just happen to us, we choose them.
“We can’t control life, but we can control our response to life.
“Clearing our lives of emotional turmoil is a live message. This is resolving!”
“It’s interesting,” said the man. “Resolve isn’t changing the circumstances so much as changing ourselves.”
“Precisely,” said Barbara. “We can’t change anyone but ourselves. That is the key. It’s true. I became a cancer conqueror not because I went into remission. I became a cancer conqueror because I chose to become a new person!
“Nobody will tell you it is easy. Simple? Yes. Easy? No. Just try to remember that change, like our emotions, is a choice. New choices are not easy. Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.”
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Following the narrative is an informational section titled:
Resolve: Letting Go of Fear, Anger, & Guilt
Dr. Steven Greer at King’s College Hospital in England compared a group of women with mastectomy for breast cancer. Survival was nearly 3 times greater among those who developed a fighting spirit in response to the diagnosis compared with those who felt hopeless & helpless.
Dr. Spiegel at Stanford University directed a study of breast cancer patients who participated in emotionally expressive groups. The findings: Participants lived twice as long as nonparticipants.
At UCLA, Dr. Fawzy Fawzy followed malignant melanoma patients who participated in emotionally supportive groups. Participants in a six-week program that taught better emotional coping skills lived twice as long as those in control groups who did not take part.
Your appreciation of the link between emotions & health is 2nd in importance only to your understanding of the entire range of choices in physical treatments.
(For me, God comes first in my life – always! In Mark 12:30 Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” This certainly requires that He is first in my life. I know he has a plan for my life. Jeremiah 29:11-13 “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call upon me & come & pray to me, & I will listen to you. You will seek me & find me when you seek me with all your heart.” I know this is not a guarantee of a “charmed life,” because I’m also told in Habakkuk 3:19 [Amplified Bible] “The lord God is my strength, my personal bravery, & my invisible army . . . and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] & make [spiritual progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility.]” In 1 Peter 1:6-7 I’m told, “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine & may result in praise, glory & honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” If my faith is not tested, do I really need faith to live by? How do I know or others know it’s real? Do I have the opportunity to experience God’s power working through my life in my everyday experiences if I’m living a “charmed, perfect life?”
The day I confessed my sins & asked for forgiveness & received His gracious free gift of salvation God began to work in my life, through the Holy Spirit. 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Philippians 1:6 says, “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” I know God will continue to work in my life until the moment I draw my last breath. 1 Corinthians 2:10b-12 “The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit with in him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world by the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.”
When I discovered the enlarged, painful lymph node, I turned to God first. Yes, I called my family physician to make an appointment, but I needed to seek God’s peace, encouragement, & hope, as I sought medical advice & waited on test results. As I learned that the lymph node was malignant & the process progressed, we continued to depend on God for strength, comfort, a sense of His peace & hope in the midst of uncertainty, & for guidance as we were asked to make decisions. If you’re reading “My Story,” as I complete chapters, you know how we rely on God as we travel this journey. No decisions are made without seeking God’s guidance. We have to rely on our intellect, too, as we are proactive. We ask LOTS of questions; we do our homework by reading information & research. We need help in finding credible resources that can be trusted, & we need help in sorting through pros & cons when making decisions. There are times when we look at 2 sides of an argument in research, when there are contradictory views among researchers or between doctors. It is vitally important to have God’s guidance! We are so thankful for God’s promises! Philippians 1:9-10a says, “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more & more IN KNOWLEDGE & DEPTH OF INSIGHT, SO THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO DISCERN WHAT IS BEST [Emphasis added].”
God is the head of my medical team. Proverbs 4:11 says, “I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.” We are certain that He was instrumental in the choices of my oncologists & even the oncologist I saw for a 2nd opinion. Although we did not consciously pray & ask, “God, which oncologist should we see,” it is obvious, in retrospect, that he was in control of the choices that were made. We are certain He directed us in making the choice of my primary medical treatment & the addition of the alternative treatment.
Throughout my journey, it has been important to maintain a strong relationship with God through prayer & searching the Bible. I always need my personal relationship with Him to remain strong & the lines of communication to remain open. Not only does this sustain my spiritual strength [Psalm 28:7a,b “The Lord is my strength & my shield; my heart trusts in him, & I am helped.”], this is how we make choices about my treatment, & work through emotional issues to remain emotionally healthy – by prayerfully consulting God & His Word. I am reassured in John 8:47, “He who belongs to God hears what God says.”)
Cancer most often changes the way people relate to one another. Many patients & support people develop new, usually more spiritual, perspectives on life. And cancer is often the catalyst to filling some unmet emotional needs. The side benefits can be positive & most meaningful. . . Life takes on a new quality. Cancer has helped them live fuller & richer lives.
For me, resolve is a NEVER GIVE UP mentality, because God is on my side. The reason I never give up is because I never give up on God’s promises & the hope I have in Him. Many of the issues covered in this journey with the Cancer Conqueror are issues I had faced & dealt with previously. If I dealt with them now, it was in regard to the way cancer was affecting my life, rather than issues with people and/or events of my past. One of the new issues was looking at my personality profile, but I had done some work on these traits. Certain aspects have been re-introduced as symptoms of my brain injury & are more difficult to extinguish because of the way in which my brain functions. These MAY be contributing factors, but they are not the only cause of it. The caution is to not to allow this to cause me to blame myself for my cancer. By the grace of God, I work through these issues with His help, as they arise.
Below are some AWESOME promises that charge my “resolve” batteries:
Jeremiah 31:3b “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.”
In John 10:10b Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, & have it to the full.”
Romans 5:17 (The Message) says, “If death got the upper hand through one man’s wrongdoing, can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one man Jesus Christ provides?”
Romans 15:13 “May the God of hope fill you with all joy & peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge & strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way & the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar & foam & the mountains quake with their surging.”
3 John 2 “. . . I pray that you may enjoy good health & that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.”
I trust that as I keep God & my relationship with Jesus Christ at the center of my life, I will continue to enjoy good health. I also realize that I have a responsibility to take care of my body. God does not make choices for me about which food I will eat at each meal or for snacks, regular exercise, taking nutritional supplements as scheduled, getting rest, taking time to pray & to read my Bible, etc. These are decisions I make each day; they are my response-ability. God has promised to heal me, but I do not just sit idly & wait for him to do it, without making any changes in my lifestyle or eating habits. He is the one who has led me to read the research that has taught me how these things affect the growth rate of cancer.
Psalm 32:8 “I will instruct you & teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you & watch over you.”
Proverbs 2:1-6 “. . .if you accept my words & store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom & applying your heart to understanding, & if you call out for insight & cry aloud for understanding, & if you look for it as for silver & search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord & find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom, & from his mouth come knowledge & understanding.”
Proverbs 16:22 “Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it.”
Proverbs 14:30a “A heart at peace gives life to the body.” Praise God!!!
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