Ch 15 - Shared Personal Notes

Original post 1/8/09

My strict diet
People frequently tell me they don’t know how I can stay on my strict diet. I always explain that it is very easy, at this point. It is not the same as someone who is on a diet for the purpose of losing weight. At first I struggled. Chapter 12 & 13 tell the story of my struggle with the diet; so, I won’t repeat the story here. As I explained in chapter 14, I have negotiated, with Dr. Powers, adding back whole & multi-grain products, which is a big help in meal planning & in ordering when eating out. Two things make it easy to stick to the diet. First, I know I don’t want to feed the cancer cells; so, it’s easy to say no to sugary deserts, foods made with white flour, milk or cheese. Second, my positive test results are confirmation that what I am doing is working, & they provide motivation to continue.

When I cleaned out my closet, several people asked me why I gave away or sold my clothes. They ask why I didn’t keep them, in case I gained back the weight I lost. I guess they misunderstand the fact that my change in eating habits must be permanent. It would be quite a task to gain back 47 pounds eating meat, fish, vegetables, fruit, fruit juice, organic yogurt, non-soy vegetable protein powder, & a limited amount of whole or multi-grains bread or bagels.

On rare occassions, I will ask Ed for a bite of something that I’m not supposed to eat. Sometimes I have embarrassed him & actually spit out a bite of a dessert because it was sickeningly sweet. After nearly a year without a full serving of any food made with sugar, I don’t think I could eat an entire regular dessert. Kristy made me a dessert at Thanksgiving, with ingredients I am permitted to eat, & I liked it & ate a good bit of it.

My results are often credited to my efforts, by people who know that I stick to a strict diet, taking supplements daily, & exercising 3 times a week. They are also aware of my faith in God & know that I am an avid reader who makes an effort to be informed about all aspects of the disease & treatment. However, I want to point to God as the One responsible for the results & is the One who helps to keep me faithful. Philippians 2:13 says, “for it is God who works in you to will & to act according to his good purpose.” Because God is a gentleman, I must give Him permission to cause me to be willing to act in accordance with His will; I’ve given him that permission. I am reminded over & over again that God is in control of this journey. In chapter 3, I describe God’s message to me before the appointment to hear the first doctor’s diagnosis (the lymph node is malignant but it is not a death sentence). You see, I didn’t find out I had cancer & go to God & plead with him to let me live, & I’m not saying a person can’t or shouldn’t do that. I’m saying that’s not what happened in my case. It is SO evident, to me, that God is in control. Each step of the way I can see God’s hand in it. As you read my story, I hope you can see His hand as well. Before the appointment to get my 1st biopsy results I went through a lot of anxiety. After God told me the lymph node is malignant but it is not a death sentence, I experienced a “peace that transcends understanding.” It could only come from God. The anxiety was gone! Praise God! Don’t give me too much credit. God put me on solid footing to begin the journey. I have every reason to trust him every step of the way. (Heb. 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” [In the Bible hope is not wishful thinking; it means confident expectation of good.) Oh, I can allow my mind to run down negative paths of “what ifs” that threaten my peace; It’s natural. Yet, there are times that the enemy of my soul plants those “what if” seeds, in an effort to steal my peace, by allowing my thoughts to suck me into fear or doubt (John 8:44, 1 Peter 5:8). In either case, I thank God that it never lasts very long. These are the times that I am most aware of your prayers. I take my clouded thinking to God in prayer & regain my perspective as I refocus on the fact that God IS in control & remind myself & my enemy what God has promised. (James 4:7–8)

Psalm 18:32–35 “It is God who arms me with strength & makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, & your right hand sustains me.”

Advice to fellow cancer patients
When I hear of others who are diagnosed with cancer I want to suggest that they attack it in the same way I have. Of course, I know this is natural. I’m so excited about how well these things have worked for me; I want others to experience the same success I have found. That is one of the reasons I added a blog with the suggestions of books to read or to give as gifts. A fellow cancer patient or family member can read what I have read & choose for him or herself what to do. However, I realize that all cancer patients are not helped by the same means. There is a large population of cancer patients who will find the same success, or at least some success, by employing the same methods I am using, but there are cancer patients who have used these methods who have not found success. There’s always a nagging thought in the back of my mind that says, “What harm can there be in making some dietary changes & taking some supplements; in fact, they just may prove to be some help.” I have to remind myself, “It is working for me because this is the path God has led me to travel.”

I am supported by prayers of so many people. I know this makes a tremendous difference. I am certain this is the reason my discernment is unusually sensitive & quick. I read credible resources & trust God to urge me to follow specific advice that is repeated & confirmed in several sources, which requires His discernment. There are scores of supplements to choose from. There are endless resources with endless lists of potential benefits. I sifted through a lot of material to find credible resources that list proven benefits. Proven doesn’t mean one person or a handful of people experience the particular benefit. There needs to be some scientific research to back up the claims.

In terms of supplements, Dr. Powers prescribed 3 & I added a few based on my reading. There are times when I sense God saying, “OK, have you seen it enough times now?” Then I know I have read about a supplement & its benefits enough times that I am to add it to my list. I’m so glad that God is patient with us. At this point, I’m done adding supplements. I’ve given a copy of my list of supplements & how much I take to Dr. Powers, & he approves of everything on it. This is my medical stamp of approval.

If you pray for me you share in the victory
Everyone who prays for me shares in the victory. 2 Cor. 1: 8b–11 “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such deadly peril, & he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.” [emphasis added] Paul is speaking to the believers who prayed for him. Although his hardships were very different from mine, I echo his sentiments in regard to those who pray for me. I draw strength from your prayers; we can give thanks together for God’s gracious favor that has been granted in answering our prayers for my continued good health & positive test results. Your prayers help me to sense God’s presence daily. When I have spiritual or emotional struggles, they are short-lived. I credit this to your continual prayers for me. Praise God!! As I have said before, it is so humbling that you continue to remember me in your prayers. I think, ‘Who am I that so many people would pray for me for such a long period of time?’ It is so awesome!! Thank you!! May God bless you for your faithfulness; I pray God will graciously meet the needs of your life. Please email me (owens.pa@gmail.com) if you have a specific need that you want me to pray about for you.

All patients should come to a place where they are able to take an active role in their treatment & recovery. The first few months I could not handle reading much about cancer, but my family was curious to learn. I thank God for their love, that they were so interested & willing to be advocates for me. I am truly blessed!

I realize that I could say, “God promised to heal me from the top of my head to the soles of my feet (see chapter 6); therefore, I’ll just take my Femara & wait for God to heal me. I don’t need to concern myself with this strict diet, exercising, taking supplements, etc.” I think I would be dead wrong to take this attitude! Who knows, in doing this I may be ignoring the means by which God intends to bring about my healing. While I wait, I will keep doing what I have been doing to bring about positive test results. This includes praying for the healing He promised. I know God does not lie. (Heb. 6:18 “. . . it is impossible for God to lie. . .” Numbers 23:19 “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak & then not act? Does he promise & not fulfill?”) When His timing is right, He will fulfill His promise.

Other cancer patients, family members or friends of cancer patients reading my story
I know there are people who are reluctant to have other people read my story & blogs, because everything, so far, has turned out positive for me. It seems too much like a fairy tale. It may be a cancer patient who is struggling, who seems to be losing the battle or families who have a loved one who is currently, unsuccessfully battling cancer or who have lost a loved one to cancer, who resent, not me, but what the disease is doing to them personally, is doing or did to their mother, father, wife, husband, sister, brother, grandparent, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, cousin, friend, etc. It’s hard for them to hear or read a story that is positive & praising God when the story of their loved one, or their personal battle, is a source of emotional pain. We can take our pain to God, & he will comfort us. 2 Cor. 1:3–4 “Praise be to the God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion & the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

Psalm 139: 13, 16 “For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. . . All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” God made each of us, & He knows when we will leave this life. I’m going to keep doing what He leads me to do to stick around for as long as possible. I’m trusting that will be for a long time.

I know that I have difficulty when I hear about others who are struggling with cancer. If I could wave a magic wand & make them better, I would, but the decision is not mine to make. I can pray God will work a miracle in their lives, but it is up to God to do what He determines is best. In the month of December, 3 young women I had been praying for lost their battles with cancer. They each left behind young children. My heart aches for them. I feel apprehensive & insecure when talking to their family members or friends. I know they are happy for me that things are going well, but don’t they wonder why it didn’t work out that way for their family member/friend? Why didn’t God work a miracle in their lives? This side of heaven we will never know. We won’t understand. We have to trust Him to comfort our grieving hearts.

What about the person reading my story who is facing a reoccurrence of cancer or a bout with a second type of cancer, after a bad experience with his or her first round of cancer? Surely, my story reads like a fairy tale. In chapter 2, I mention the near fatal car accident in 1999, & in chapter 3, I describe more aspects related to the accident that are relevant to my current situation. I wrote about this because it is a real & relevant part of my life; I want you to know that I’ve been through good times & bad physically & emotionally. Through it all, God is always my anchor. He can be yours too. (1/6/09)